Obese children

[Scarfitwere]

I notice so many obese (primary age) children around these days, it was very apparent at my childrens' sports day and these poor kids could barely do the races. One sat on the side as they were too large to participate at all. I understand overweight adults and it's hard to lose weight etc, but these are young children, their parents control their food intake. Why are so many parents letting their kids get like this? Its setting them up for bullying, not being able to join in sports etc, and health problems. I just don't get it AIBU?

Agree with this. There is a snacking obsession
My daughter has a school leavers disco on Friday. The PTA have said each child gets a box of snacks on arrival (crisps, sweets, fruit shoot type thing, biscuits ), and ice pop during the thing and then a portion of chips at the end. The disco only lasts an hour! She dances for 3 hours on a Saturday without needing a snack

I know of several- parents healthy weight, cross fit lifestyle etc. that prioritise their own diets but feed kids convenience foods as it’s easy. Same families also use food indulgence as ‘treats’ as they work long hours, so going for a giant sundae or trip after school for several types of sweets as time spent together.

Yes usually overweight parents tend to raise over weight kids, but it’s more complex. The attitude of beige freezer food and packaged sweet treats being no different to whole foods for kids (a calorie is a calorie, they burn it all off running around, it’s just puppy fat, etc. being the mantras) is rife in our very middle class, professional area. It seems ok until about yr6 but from then on the weight begins to really show, possibly because the portions get bigger and the kids have more access to help themselves.

@HappyNewTaxYear ah bless, a typo, must have been my obese fingers

I find this really quite insulting. As I do in real life where I have experienced it many times, directly and indirectly. I have been told to my face that I am overweight and that's why my children (were) overweight. I am clearly a bad influence - according to these other people.

Except, I have PCOS. Losing weight is insanely difficult for me. When pregnant (and therefore NOT suffering from PCOS), the weight literally falls off me. I came out of both my pregnancies much much thinner than I was before them. My doctor would LOVE to give me weight loss drugs because they have actually been developed for people like me, but she can't. So I will get them privately when I can afford it - it's hard to pay for them considering the £1000s I already pay every year for DS' ADHD treatment and meds, the £1000s we are currently forking out for his orthodontic treatment becuase the NHS says they WILL do it.... but the waiting list is so long he'd get them in the middle of his GCSEs, and the prioritisation that DH and I have agreed on to encourage our children to do extra curricular activities, including DS playing one sport at a fairly high level and DD heading in a similar way for her activity.... (and I'm very very conscious that we are LUCKY to be able to afford what we do).

DH is not overweight. But that's only because he exercises so much he can get away with his (probably also linked to ND) eating. LIke DS, it's the VOLUME of food he gets through vs what he eats. On the plus side, unlike his sister (most likely ALSO ND), he has never crossed the line into an eating disorder, although has definitely suffered from disordered eating in the past, and has previously been overweight as a result.

I'm not going to lie, as my children have slimmed down, I have wondered what all those other people who judged me have thought then. I'm sure they came up with something new. Probably about why I can't lose weight even while I'm helping my children to.

I know a few MC people with very good incomes where their children are overweight. The weird thing is the parents themselves are very obsessed with their own weight/appearance whilst their children are very obese.
Someone I went to school with will bitch about the weight of people we know at every opportunity, all 4 of her children have a weight issue, I dont know if she is just blind to it.

DH often complains that DD is too skinny, she’s not. Shes a good weight. Some of her friends are very overweight so probably doesn’t look average. I was a similar size at her age and thought I was overweight compared to my size 6/8 best mate.

Op in all honesty I hope you don’t visibly judge them, one of my friends as a child was overweight and another friend used to say’everything ok?’ as people would look at her, especially if we were in McDonald’s or buying sweets. I loved her for it! She didn’t eat any worse than any of us and they weren’t a ‘live on pizzas’ type of family. Age 14/15 she got a lot taller and it was distributed a lot more evenly. No need to judge kids, they’ve enough to navigate

I can see how someone in poverty might be making extra sure that their kids aren't hungry though or feel almost triggered if their child is saying that they are hungry compared to someone who is comfortable and doesn't have to worry that not feeding their child is just a broken washing machine or insert other financial emergency away.

I agree to an extent. My kids grew up in poverty, with poor food and I was very sensitive to them saying they were hungry. But I learned to differentiate between 'hunger-hungry' and 'bored-hungry' and tried not to overcompensate. Incidentally, I divorced their dad and was VERY aware that 'guilt-feeding' occasionally crept into our lifestyle. All the kids were skinny until puberty, when PCOS meant eldest daughter piled on the weight. She's still chunky as an adult, all the others are normal weight.

I grew up in poverty and it was also the case that the sweet treats were cheap and easy treats that my mum could afford. I didn't get holidays, maybe 1 trip to the beach in the summer holidays and that was a massive treat, especially if my mum could afford fish & chips for us to share too.

It's just a completely different mindset.

I was never obese as a child, I think because I spent a lot of time playing outside from about the age of 8. Of course, that makes you a bad parent now.

I actually frequently see the exact opposite. Mam's who are extremely thin, designer clothes, big fake eyelashes, lip and cheek fillers, hair extensions, all extremely focused on their own appearance but with very overweight or obese children.

Yanbu. My friends 7yo is 7.5 stone. Wears age 15/16 clothes that are for too long to fit their waist.
They just get fed kebab, macdonalds, KFC and junk food ( parents eat healthier) apparently child kicks off if they don't get what they want.
They get picked up from school with a large bag of sweets eat day

It's sad to see

It’s poverty, and people are working too many jobs to do meal prep. They’re exhausted and we have a hideous long hour/multiple jobs culture.

the working classes are not fucking lazy

I’ve lived in the poorest areas full of nutritionally deficient, pasty, overweight youngsters and with completely overworked parents.

In one of the richest areas where I now live there isn’t an overweight kid in the school nearest me and they’re all bloody glowing with health.

This is a disgusting thread full of judgements about ‘the poor’.

Wow someone (@readandsew) actually said poverty is not an excuse.......... I am speechless! What a stunning claim. Wow.

Yes, agree with this.
When my eldest was a toddler and I used to go to activities with fellow NCT mums, they were constantly bringing our snacks - breadsticks, raisins, pouches. Then they were baffled when their DCs were not hungry at mealtimes. This was a middle class area.
Then snacks for school at break time.
Snacks on the way home.
I didn’t grow up in the Victorian era but we didn’t have snacks during break time at school and I don’t remember being hungry because of that.

Bored hungry is definitely a thing but hard to recognise in the first place and then to mitigate for when you are working parent and struggling financially.
It’s difficult to have the headspace to entertain your child so easier to give them the food and maybe let them have screens rather than play outside where they may need supervision.
I have definitely done that at times.

How do I look like an arse? About 30 people liked my original response to Backtothebestbits. Christ, you are quite the arsehole aren’t you! Dick head.

I was the fat kid. It was 100% due to bad family eating habits.

My DC have never been obese (20’s now). It is a massive parenting failure imo to have a kid primary age be obese unless they have metabolic medical problems.

Of course it is. It’s a problem that affects society that we all live in. It will likely have implications for these children as they get older and also probably on the NHS. I live in an area with lots of families who are economically deprived and the rates of childhood obesity are much higher than neighbouring affluent areas. Access of affordable healthy food, and the means and time to cook it, is a systemic issue that needs to be addressed. Although the solution is complex.

Fully agree. Some of these posters would do well to come and live and work with the families I interact with on a daily basis. It’s much harder to dismiss them as stupid poor people when you have to force yourself to admit they’re human!

However it does allow people to confirm to themselves that they are superior and that’s all that matters.

Look at the illegal boat arrivals. Have you seen a fat one?

Then look at deliveroo drivers etc. They have suddenly become obese.

It is a UK problem. Benefits system overhaul l needed.

The mum & dad are usually overweight as well.
BIL & SIL are both quite heavy, their girls are too.
What they all eat at home is the biggest factor.
SIL shops in the freezer aisle. BIL buys fast food.

Rising child obesity levels is a global problem, especially in the west, south America and the Middle East. Even southern European countries such as Spain, Italy and Greece have child obesity problems similar to the UK.

The biggest single factor is the industrialisation of the foods we eat, with increased UPFs. We know they are not good for our health and are quite possibly addictive, but we are constantly bombarded with advertising from them.

The food culture of Britain has changed, so in order for a family to be in the normal weight range, it has to consciously go against what's increasingly the norm. This involves the constant battle to keep children away from sugary, salty crap and make dinners from scratch. Many parents simply do not have the time, knowledge, finances or inclination to do this.

It shouldn't have to be such an effort to keep a child from becoming overweight or obese.

My daughter is online 3.5 and currently neither overweight nor obese, but she is disabled, uses a wheelchair and is statistically at risk of obesity. Because of that one of her myriad of specialists is a nutritionist (or dietician - whichever one is a medical professional). I am extremely conscious of not overfeeding her. I would never make her clear her plate, but often she'll eat two bites then claim she's full because she wants to get down and play. I sometimes find it difficult to strike a balance between getting her to eat a proper dinner and not giving the message that she must eat more than she wants/needs because it's there. On the other hand I don't want to give her any complex about maybe getting fat at some future point. For now we take about too many treats being bad for her tummy and her teeth but she's not banned from ever having sweets, ice cream, etc. And she even tells her dolls they have to eat proper food before they're allowed any birthday cake. Time will tell whether I'm getting it right but for now her doctors and nutrionist are happy.

There are actually very few overweight children in our neighborhood, but we have two six year old neighbours (two separate families) who are outside every day with so much junk food! Entire large tubes of Pringles, a sharing bag of Haribo each, a packet of those ready-made waffles (then sweet kind, not potato waffles). Interestingly the boy, whose mother is overweight, is actually quite skinny despite all the junk. The girl's mother is tiny - in both senses of the word, petite and skinny - buy the little girl is definitely at least overweight if not obese. Both families are low income/immigrants. We are also immigrants (although in my partner's case only from the neighbouring country) but not low income. At my daughter's (expensive) nursery there are maybe 2-3 overweight children who come to the after school programme, so age 6+. The cheaper nursery we also looked around definitely had a few overweight 2 and 3 year olds, so from what I've seen lower income (although maybe not necessarily poverty as such) is definitely a factor. While there are some lower income families where we live the truly deprived areas are elsewhere and I have no real idea of what proportion of those kids are obese.

My son is disabled and uses a wheelchair too. It's really difficult when he can't do the active things that the vast majority of children do.

He's also under a dietician and has a restricted diet due to medical reasons and the things he has to avoid includes wholegrains, nuts and seeds. He also can't eat some fruits and vegetables.

He isn't overweight or obese currently but if he was, I don't know what I'd be able to do.

That sounds really tough! Luckily there are no foods we have to avoid - other than the obvious loads of fried food and junk that nobody should really be eating regularly anyway. The one thing we do is try to steer her away from too much salt since she has bladder issues that could eventually cause kidney problems, but since she's only 3 we'd be avoiding salt anyway.