Obese children

[Scarfitwere]

I notice so many obese (primary age) children around these days, it was very apparent at my childrens' sports day and these poor kids could barely do the races. One sat on the side as they were too large to participate at all. I understand overweight adults and it's hard to lose weight etc, but these are young children, their parents control their food intake. Why are so many parents letting their kids get like this? Its setting them up for bullying, not being able to join in sports etc, and health problems. I just don't get it AIBU?

My daughter is overweight. I know she is overweight.

She has depression, anxiety, ASD, ADHD, hormone issues and has been referred to the paediatrician for tests and genetic tests.

Ive swapped her from school dinners to packed lunch so I can control and see what she's eating.

I have changed our meals, cut any junk out. Signed us up as a family to the local health centre. Im doing what I can

I think aside from the things people have mentioned already, a lot of parents are time poor.

Rushing from work to after school club, then maybe off to brownies or something. It takes time not only to cook but also to plan/shop/prep for. Modern life with two working parents can be really tough and tiring.

I don’t think it’s totally an excuse but I could see how people are more tempted to bang fish fingers and chips in an air fryer for 10 minutes than standing prepping a spaghetti Bol with the associated clean up.

It always baffles me that it doesn't raise concerns with the associated authorities. If a child was seriously malnourished, SS would be involved immediately yet, just like with animals, (so many morbidly obese pets) nothing is really said or done about it despite the known health risks and long term damage.
I wonder if children will start sueing their parents in years to come.....?! 😬😬

It is neglectful, and neglect is abuse, therefore it is child abuse! YANBU.

And now ? Is she still over weight ?

She died several years ago, of cancer.

That is highly unusual though. Most children with very high centiles over 99th, do not have an underlying condition like hypothyroidism. As a paediatric healthcare professional, that is something very rarely encountered.
Also, I would question your use of ‘judging’ in this context. Most HCPs including myself regard this as ‘being concerned ‘for the child’s best interests, not ‘judging’.

I agree, in that we 3 generations into convenience foods now so many parents were themselves raised on convenience foods so see nothing wrong with that. Couple that with the long hours most parents are working and you have a recipe for millions of kids being fed utter shite that leaves them craving more utter shite by design.

That’s WILD 🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣

As someone already said, school lunch boxes are an eye opener, many have sweet spread white sandwiches and then numerous biscuits, cakes and crisps. Many lunchboxes for KS1 children are also adult portion size.

I once had a mother of obese children report me to social services for my children being "extremely underweight".

My children were of healthy weight.

But she was so used to seeing obese children both in her own family and out and about, that she thought mine were about to die of starvation!

Things like that obviously happen though.

OP actually has no idea why the child had to sit out of sports day and just made an assumption because of his weight. It could very well be a medical reason.

My son gained some very noticeable weight during his cancer treatment because of steroids.

I agree with this, as much as I have empathy for the child and parents.

The French would never roll over and accept this. They continue to eat seasonally and cook fresh food. Same with the Italians and much of Europe. Everyone knows how to eat healthily and although junk and convenience foods exists it isn't seen as acceptable to live on it, which many UK families now do.

Unfortunately we have a tendency to follow the US, rather than our more healthy neighbours.

Is public transport free where you live, then? Because it's £7 for one bus and £58 for an advanced ticket for 2 adults and 3 kids here. And if you want somewhere that you could swim safely in and actually have a chance to rockpool, rather than somewhere with a steep shingle beach and a lot of industrial/sewage outfall, the train's (and I can't believe how much it's just returned, it never occurred to me that it would have gone up that much) £273.

Definitely geographical.

Very few obese children around here and the overweight girls seem to have skinnied up at high school. Lots of eating related learning in the curriculum and PSCHE days.

Unfortunately that seems to have lead to a massive increase in eating disorders.

Lots of competitive under eating and talk of diets in skinny children as young as 13-14.

I'd rather see an over weight, but happy and healthy child (or adult) than a critically ill underweight one. Obesity I would class as akin to child abuse and in need of mandatory children's services involvement, support and intervention.

I was at school in the 1970s and remember the nurse taking a few kids off to weigh them. From that point they were all given a piece of Edam and an apple for dessert rather than cake and custard like the rest of us. My friend was one of them and immediately switched to packed lunch. School dinners were hearty and not always the healthiest (spam fritters anyone?) but they were the main meal ofbthe day for lots of us and we didn't have access to snacks in the same way.

Most of us were skinny. No "exercise" then, really. I suppose some of us did ballet/tap and maybe some boys did football but very few people actually did proper activities outside school.

But none of us had cars and we walked everywhere. We played out and we were allowed to roam (inner London so I'm not talking woods and building dens).

My mum worked full time as a nurse so kept weird hours and she hated cooking so we had a fair range of crap food, even then. But I think we were just so much more active and we ate less.

I am an overweight adult but my kids are all tall and skinny like their dad. Partly genes, partly me keeping an eye on what we ate.

@NeverDropYourMooncup I live 30 mins walking distance from the beach. For those who don't, im sure there's other opportunities to wild swim in safe ponds, hills and mountains to climb, public parks to hike. Nature tends to have a one off equipment cost (swimming costume/walking shoes) and then all it's free

It used to be that thin children were poor. Now poor children are overwhelmingly obese. There are lots of studies. The higher the poverty rate, the more likely they are to live in a food desert or be unable to afford food. The school I worked in had more than 60% of kids on free school meals. Some of them had never eaten with a knife and fork at age 4. Because chips and nuggets and multi pack crisps are cheap and make you feel good even when your life is objectively difficult.

I agree. The adopted children theory doesn't prove a genetic cause. It could be more to do with how the children were nourished in utero.

How is swimming in the sea free if you don't live by the sea?

Swimming lessons also aren't free. The ones children get at primary school aren't enough to learn how to swim.

Buses are free for under 19s in London. Double public health benefit in that it discourages car use and the concomitant pollution but allows families to get out and about.

Sadly doesn't take us down to the seaside...

It's common for girls with AuDHD to use food as a coping mechanism, I was told. It's a symptom of a life spent masking. It's what I've done my whole life. Food is my biggest enemy and my greatest comfort.

As soon as life becomes stressful, irritating, exciting, busy, boring or everything in between, my mind pushes me towards food to manage the overwhelming feelings and intrusive thoughts.

I really hope she finds something else that makes her feel better but in the meantime, please give her a hug from me and tell her there are loads of us who feel the same and it all gets easier in time.x.

Obviously not everyone lives by the sea or a safe fresh water lake. However the coasts are highly populated and many of us do. For those who live walking distance from the seaside it's a fantastic way to access an enjoyable form of exercise for no more than the initial cost of a swimming costume

And some of us teach our children how to swim. No cost for lessons if you are able to do so. It's what I'm doing myself. I used to teach swimming, so it seems silly to pay someone else for that.

Which is wonderful if you are able to swim yourself.