Obese children

[Scarfitwere]

I notice so many obese (primary age) children around these days, it was very apparent at my childrens' sports day and these poor kids could barely do the races. One sat on the side as they were too large to participate at all. I understand overweight adults and it's hard to lose weight etc, but these are young children, their parents control their food intake. Why are so many parents letting their kids get like this? Its setting them up for bullying, not being able to join in sports etc, and health problems. I just don't get it AIBU?

Maybe you should be more concern about how the parents of the bullies can’t parent their children properly, instead of the parents of the obese children who are “setting them up for being bullied” because they can’t control their food intake.
also fed up with these bloody generalisations. My child is overweight because we are all diabetic and she’s also in the spectrum. Of course you were not referring to people with issues right? Just generalising and making everyone feel judged instead.

I dont know about secondary but they do learn about nutrition in primary school.

You have clearly done well and must have come from a difficult environment. I look at my 20 and 23y old kids and think they are way too young to be parents. I can’t imagine a 15y pregnant and raising kids. Sounds like you have done a great job on the diet front at least as a parent. I of course don’t know what the rest of your parenting is like.

I am from a typically middle class background and am slim, with very slim kids. But I acknowledge my privilege.

In life you can’t be as black and white about this stuff. Somebody might be 30, but they might have a stressful job. A dickhead partner. An exhausting school run. Other financial commitments. Peer/cultural pressure to eat certain stuff. People are complex and so are their lives.

Yes, your kids’ diet and health are a priority. But I don’t think it’s that helpful to preach like this and shame people. It’s clearly a society thing and not just an individual thing. Which is why we have to look at food manufacturers, advertising, supermarket pricing etc as well as educating individual parents.

I hate people judging teen mums but they do. It’s not nice, is it?

I do think snacking is a main issue.

I grew up in the 70s and 80s. We did eat processed food including smash and angel delight etc. But there was no snacking between meals. I was very hungry between breakfast and lunch. I would look with envy at the diabetic girl in the class who got to eat a snack at 11 am..

So I experienced genuine hunger between meals. And that was ok. Even though I am still slim in my fifties, I don’t really feel proper hunger any more. Because there are always snacks at my disposal.

The snacking culture has a lot to answer for.

@Vroomfondleswaistcoat I agree with this completely, too many people don't know when they're actually hungry because they snack all the time. Being hungry for half an hour before dinner isn't something to be afraid of and too many people confuse wanting to eat with hunger.

DD’s best mate is very overweight, DD can eat her under the table, I’ve watched them and mine eats like food is going out of fashion. I’m fairly sure DD is actually the bigger eater out of the two. BUT her friend always has things like chocolate croissants and sweets in her lunch box, her lovely mum seems to have a never ending supply of junk. Kids can have big appetites and be a little bit overweight but to get extremely overweight I think has to do with junk in the diet. I can definitely eat most of a packet of jaffa cakes, I would struggle to eat the same amount of calories of apple. A chocolate bar has around 200 calories, thats like 4 apples. We love chocolate as a family and have tons lying around but we do try to moderate it, desserts are always shared etc.

The girls used to do an activity together and at the end mum used to hand out family sized chocolate packs. I love the mum to bits but I would think “eurgh why” it came from a place of kindness and generosity but it’s harmful. Also you will eat less overall if you are eating a diet that is generally healthy and has a decent amount of protein and dairy in it. If you eat empty nutrition you can spend a fortune on snacks to fill you up. I do think time is an issue for most working families though. I always felt a bit sad for her because her mums seems to believe you could exercise it off and the problem was a lack of exercise. Her DD often struggles to keep up in softplay etc and I just think cut down on the sugar!

I remember posting on here that my 5yr old does something like 6 hours of supervised sport a week ontop of whatever else we are doing on the weekend (we basically get up and get out on weekends, staying at home will just result in us all slumping on the sofa) and being told it’s too much and she must be tired. I think theres a misunderstanding of actually how much exercise children really need. Mine would definitely be overweight if she didn’t maintain this level of activity,

I’m overweight by a stone myself, I get it, the struggle is real but you have to try to set up healthy habits for your kids even if you didn’t grow up with them yourself.

Sorry to hear that 💐

I remember when I was a kid, I had friends from different areas.

The less posh (we were not posh but some of my friends were posh) friends had more sweets, fizzy drinks and processed food. Some of these friends were overweight.

We were somewhere in between but got lots of exercise as we had outside space.

I remember going to friends houses and just being given crisps, coke, sweets etc and just finding it really hard and unenjoyable - I just felt sick as we never ever had fizzy coke, fanta etc. in my house. With posher friends there was more homemade food, which obviously takes time.

We were allowed sweets in my house but you had to walk 25 minutes to the local shop to get them and back again.

I think easy availability plus being time poorer must play a part to some degree.

@User37482

Mine would definitely be overweight if she didn’t maintain this level of activity,

Then you are feeding her too much.

A school mum feeds her daughter pasta every day and a lot of processed food. Her daughter doesnt do any sports, i feel sorry for her because she was never given veg or fruit when younger so she wont eat them now. Although I dont think her daughter is classed obese yet she is on her way to be overweight. Shes nearly 8 with a belly

I’m not posh but make all our food from scratch I think it depends on where people are from as well. Some cultures rely on ready meals and lots of snacks where others dont.

Imo it is a type of child abuse. A complex one but still a form of abuse/neglect.

I know this an old thread but this is an interesting question & I thought I'd say what I'd read, since I'd read up on it a little recently.

Italian kids definitely do eat pizza, pasta, bread, pastries and gelato. Those foods aren’t rare at all.
Pasta is often an everyday dish (usually a simple tomato or ragù etc sauce), and bread is eaten with most meals. Pizza is common too, but traditionally more of a weekly family meal at a pizzeria rather than constant takeaway.
Breakfast in Italy is actually quite sweet — many children have milk with biscuits or a cornetto (similar to a croissant). Gelato is also popular, especially in summer evenings.
The real difference is how these foods fit into the overall diet. Meals tend to be structured, portions are moderate, and there are usually vegetables, beans, fish or other simple dishes alongside the pasta or bread. Snacks and ultra-processed foods tend to be less dominant than in some other countries.
So Italian children aren’t avoiding pizza and pastries — they’re just eating them as part of a broader food culture that also includes a lot of vegetables, home cooking and shared family meals.
It’s a bit similar to France, where kids might eat chocolate or croissants, but also grow up with plenty of vegetables and proper sit-down meals.
It should also be noted that childhood obesity is also rising there, especially in poorer southern areas.

Also when the pasta sauces are homemade, it is healthy.

I'm currently abroad, and it's interesting to see how very small the local children look. The adults are all on the shorter side, but typically overweight, but every single one of the toddlers looks very frail next to my son.

He's 2.5, and very solidly built, but also very muscly, active, and you can see the shape of his ribs when he stretches etc. Even his skinnier friends would look very solid next to the locals though. They're also quite delicate/I vigorous, at least compared to all the toddlers I know.

It does make me wonder how useful guideline food amounts are for small children, because even amongst toddlers there's such a variation of size and vigour that standardising at 1000 calories seems pointless.

I've never understood why people find it so hard either.

It's easy. Cook from scratch, small dinner plate, one third fresh or frozen veg, one third protein, one third carbs. Fruit for dessert.

Choose brown rather than white carbs. Limit red meat and animal fats. Avoid sugar.

And learn how to say no, and mean it.

Junk food is cheap, accessible and attractive. With slogans such as ‘added calcium’ ‘one of your 5 a day’ and ‘high in iron’ which encourage kids and parents to want them. Your child being hungry is seen as a really bad thing- no matter the context and obsession with the size of your child and what they’re eating begins 12 weeks into pregnancy. It’s so common now for kids to snack almost entirely all day, and be given extra if they are whingy, tired, sad, bored… I’m a nanny- I see it all and have done for the newly 20 years I’ve been doing this job.

Culture plays a massive part, I don’t see overweight kids at the private schools but their snacks are still sugary empty carbs, they just pretend not to be and have a price tag and ‘organic’ written on so parents believe in them! This country could do with a massive overhaul but it won’t happen anytime soon, as we have seen even on this thread- people not really seeing what the problem is.

Many people are blind to a child being over weight. My husband and I are both active and healthy weights, as is my child. My parents are both overweight and have commented on my childs skinnyness all his life. My child eats very well, plays sports, is 6ft and weighs 10st, putting them in a healthy weight range. He is not skinny, just normal. There are a few obese kids at his school and they have been since reception, so are their families.

That's a good point.

Parents are responsible for their children being a healthy weight and yes some struggle with that. I’d imagine a whole variety of reasons, perhaps education around good food choices and appropriate portion size for one. Also snacking generation. When I was a child we didn’t have endless snacks. There were always biscuits in the tin and we were encouraged to have one if hungry. My parents purchased a few treats on shopping day, and when they were gone, they were gone.

You do have to be very careful about weight. My friends 10yr old DD is recovering from anorexia due to being teased for her weight at school. She was maybe a little overweight, but i’d imagine would have lost it with next growth spurt.