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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are you a snooper?

122 replies

SnooperLoopy · 07/07/2025 18:22

I've name changed for this to preserve my reputation as a GLM (Good Little Mumsnetter) but I have to say I find it so weird how opposed some people are to snooping on your partner's phone.
I would happily:

  • snoop your phone
  • go through your bathroom cabinet
  • read your diary
and feel no shame in doing so. I wouldn't even justify it with concerns about infidelity etc - I'm just nosey. But I would draw the line at sharing what I found with others or ever mentioning any of it to the snoopee (even if I discovered they had betrayed me I wouldn't let on how i had found out). I don't know why I feel this way but i genuinely don't understand the outrage admissions of snooping generate. I bet there are others like me, so fess up!
OP posts:
Sweetcorn81 · 07/07/2025 18:24

Does being a “good little mumsnetters” on an anonymous website mean a lot to you?

Gastons5dozenEggs · 07/07/2025 18:26

I'm not like this at all...I treat others as I would wish to be treated myself. I think this behaviour is violating, unnecessary and unfair.

Original poster
SnooperLoopy · 07/07/2025 18:27

Sweetcorn81 · 07/07/2025 18:24

Does being a “good little mumsnetters” on an anonymous website mean a lot to you?

It means the world.

OP posts:
Sweetcorn81 · 07/07/2025 18:28

SnooperLoopy · 07/07/2025 18:27

It means the world.

Show quote history

💐

SnooperK · 07/07/2025 18:28

@SnooperLoopy we could be teammates. I am a snooper.

Comedycook · 07/07/2025 18:29

No I don't do those things and wouldn't.

I couldn't care less what's in someone's bathroom cabinet...or phone or diary.

ThatLoudBear · 07/07/2025 18:31

I'm a reformed snooper. Not something I'm either proud of or would admit to anyone in RL.

McCartneyOnTheHeath · 07/07/2025 18:31

Used to be a total snooper - phones, diaries, personal letters, would happily read them.
Until I found out something that I really did not want to know. Haven't snooped since.

TheChosenTwo · 07/07/2025 18:31

I don’t check dhs phone messages but we will
use each others phones if closest to us and we want to Google something. I wouldn’t like it if he checked through my messages. I have nothing like a secret other relationship to hide, I’d just think it was an invasion of my privacy. Same as reading someone’s diary. Awful. I wouldn’t want to read someone’s private thoughts.

Regarding a bathroom cabinet, i’d have a look if the loo roll ran out and I couldn’t see any out in the room. Don’t consider that snooping though!

EdithStourton · 07/07/2025 18:32

If I caught someone flicking through my diary they would be an ex-friend...

Original poster
SnooperLoopy · 07/07/2025 18:32

I also treat others as I would like to be treated and I honestly don't care if someone reads something personal of mine, as long as it goes no further than their own brain. For one thing how would I ever know? I think to gossip about it or to weaponise private information gathered through snooping is awful, but the snooping itself really doesn't bother me.
Maybe i am too boring to have anything to hide, so i don't feel threatened by the idea of it.

OP posts:
Sweetcorn81 · 07/07/2025 18:33

McCartneyOnTheHeath · 07/07/2025 18:31

Used to be a total snooper - phones, diaries, personal letters, would happily read them.
Until I found out something that I really did not want to know. Haven't snooped since.

Who were you doing this to?

Sweetcorn81 · 07/07/2025 18:34

SnooperLoopy · 07/07/2025 18:32

I also treat others as I would like to be treated and I honestly don't care if someone reads something personal of mine, as long as it goes no further than their own brain. For one thing how would I ever know? I think to gossip about it or to weaponise private information gathered through snooping is awful, but the snooping itself really doesn't bother me.
Maybe i am too boring to have anything to hide, so i don't feel threatened by the idea of it.

Well you cared enough to change your name on an anonymous forum 😆

Original poster
SnooperLoopy · 07/07/2025 18:34

ThatLoudBear · 07/07/2025 18:31

I'm a reformed snooper. Not something I'm either proud of or would admit to anyone in RL.

So what made you change your ways?

OP posts:
RememberBeKindWithKaren · 07/07/2025 18:36

The only time I snooped at his phone - odd vibration too early in the morning - it backfired and I found out hubby was asking all my friends round for a big celebration do for me but I'd stupidly jumped to the wrong conclusion after reading just one of the messages. Still feel bad about it today, and it's over ten years back now.

Original poster
SnooperLoopy · 07/07/2025 18:36

That's because I don't trust that someone wouldn't hunt down this thread and use it to derail future threads I might be on.

edit: this is a reply to Sweetcorn81 above

OP posts:
minipie · 07/07/2025 18:36

I think there’s a huge difference between snooping on DH’s phone and doing it to a friend.

DH shouldn’t have secrets from me IMO, nor I from him. A friend however is perfectly entitled to keep some things private from me.

I’d be horrified if a friend looked through my phone but if DH did I’d think fair enough (though might wonder what he was looking for).

SnooperK · 07/07/2025 18:38

minipie · 07/07/2025 18:36

I think there’s a huge difference between snooping on DH’s phone and doing it to a friend.

DH shouldn’t have secrets from me IMO, nor I from him. A friend however is perfectly entitled to keep some things private from me.

I’d be horrified if a friend looked through my phone but if DH did I’d think fair enough (though might wonder what he was looking for).

Good point. I wouldn’t do it to a friend. I have no problem doing it to my DH, but then again I trust him. I genuinely not looking for evidence against him, I just like to know what’s going on.

SuperGinger · 07/07/2025 18:38

I never snoop, people deserve their personal privacy and would never poke around someone's home/ phone/diary especially not a friend or loved one but I do have legendary research skills and frequently do intensive research for work.

Rainbow321 · 07/07/2025 18:40

Not as go through someone / another person's house , but I am guilty of snooping ( I call it stalking ! ) on past friends / neighbours / work colleagues Facebook on occasions .

Runningismyhappyplace50 · 07/07/2025 18:42

I am naturally a snooper but over the years I have tried to ignore the temptation- it is hard but I don’t snoop any more.

MiloMinderbinder925 · 07/07/2025 18:45

I'm not interested. I know someone who always says, "Promise not to tell anyone..." And I tell her I don't want to know. I'd dump someone who snooped.

Sweetcorn81 · 07/07/2025 18:46

SnooperLoopy · 07/07/2025 18:36

That's because I don't trust that someone wouldn't hunt down this thread and use it to derail future threads I might be on.

edit: this is a reply to Sweetcorn81 above

Edited

But you “don’t have anything to hide”?

MascaraGirl · 07/07/2025 18:47

Snooping is intrusive unless you think someone’s up to no good. And there’s often no smoke without fire

JudgeBread · 07/07/2025 18:48

You care enough about your "reputation" on an anonymous online forum to change your name to admit to this so you must know reading someone's diary is Grade A cunt behaviour.

And no I've never felt the need to snoop on someone's phone, diary or medicine cabinet. I respect people and their privacy, and quite frankly my life isn't boring enough to need the thrill of sticking my beak in other people's private business.