To dislike the term ‘maiden name’?

[BangersAndGnash]

It is so sexist.

It comes from a time when ‘maiden hood’ , being a virgin, defined a woman pre marriage, when she was given the name of the man who was entitled to that virginity.

There is no common male equivalent, ‘maiden name’ , oh, the name women have before they take their ‘real’ name, their married name.

Can we use ‘birth name’ and rid our names and status from this idea of being a ‘maiden’?

We can move with the times, few people say ‘Christian name’ any more.

Why not just keep your maiden/birth name?
I find it really odd that people take their husband's surname.

Birth name and maiden name could be different. Maiden name refers to the name used at the time of forming your first marriage whereas birth name would be the name you were born with.

There’s no equivalent word which is why maiden name is used.

I agree OP. Men don't have "maiden names" and for that simple reason I won't use the term.

I find the trend for double barrelling names strange.

When the child of Mr and Mrs Barnes-Smith marries the child of Mrs and Mrs Jones-Peacock will they be Mr and Mrs Barnes-Smith-Jones-Peacock?

The word 'maidenhead' troubles me as well, especially the idea of it being 'taken' by a man. There are undertones of male aggression and the possession by the man of the woman.

This comes up all the time, as though you're the first person ever to have thought of this amazing gotcha!

The child of Mr & Mrs Barnes-Smith can choose whatever surname they want. It isn't a difficult concept. They manage quite well in Spain.

Alright. Keep yer hair on. Only having fun. It isn't a difficult concept.

And let's not forget "manhole cover"..Surely it should be "person hole cover "!
And if course "management meeting". that needs to be "Personagement meeting" .

Well, yes for the first one. Drain cover is what most of us say!

Second one, “management” is derived from the Latin “manus” which means “hand”. So a swing and a miss there.

Women still take their husband’s name after marriage rather than the other way so that’s why there’s no male equivalent. You don’t need to use it and you don’t need to change your name either.

No. Why would they?

They would just make a decision they agree on like we all do.

That's assuming they want to get married and they also happen to marry someone with a double barrelled last name.

Some interesting perspectives from all directions.

For those questioning when the phrase is used, it’s true, not so much on forms (which do tend to say ‘previous or other names’ or similar, but every other post on any surname thread.

Personally I haven’t used the term for decades. I like some of the other alternatives suggested on this thread.

I'm pretty sure the over 70s online driving licence renewal form asked for your mother's maiden name, but can't say 100%

It doesn't bother me. (And I'm very far indeed from being a maiden, as it were.) I like being a Miss, too. Never going to marry, don't like Mz. Miss will do me fine.

Most government forms now ask for first name(s) and last name or given/family name, and then any previous names you have used or been known by. Not least because terms like “maiden name” can be confusing for many people. So it’s dropping out of officialdom.

@MyIvyGrows I also forgot "mandolin". Surely that needs to be persondolin.

Did you know there is a town in Berkshire, England called Maidenhead?

Yes, but in that context it means 'First Wharf!'

Well so what if they didn't?
Ships don't have feelings and politicians can frankly deal with their own shite.

But it's sexist when used about women or their names.

It really isn't, if you're adopted. My birth name only lasted 10 days before it was legally changed.

And what do you think you are doing? Dismissing other women’s opinions by labelling them as “internalised misogyny”. That has exactly the same purpose, trying to dismiss an opinion out of hand - “you aren’t womaning right”.

I feel the same, and it never ceases to amaze me, the trivial things that MNers get bothered about.

All I can say is that if one of your "concerns" is the use of the term maiden name then you have a pretty easy life.

There are so many awful things happening to women, and yet some women obsess over such stupid things as words, and the idea of women taking their husband's names on marriage (which they have every right to do so btw without all this ire being directed at them). Then they find it surprising that so many make fun of them, or dismiss their genuine concerns.

I couldn't really give a shit about this. I'm not searching for stuff to get offended about.

It's better than wench? Also OP how would you distinguish First Name of males vs females? Would you need or want to? What about gender? See it all just gets too hard.