To dislike the term ‘maiden name’?

[BangersAndGnash]

It is so sexist.

It comes from a time when ‘maiden hood’ , being a virgin, defined a woman pre marriage, when she was given the name of the man who was entitled to that virginity.

There is no common male equivalent, ‘maiden name’ , oh, the name women have before they take their ‘real’ name, their married name.

Can we use ‘birth name’ and rid our names and status from this idea of being a ‘maiden’?

We can move with the times, few people say ‘Christian name’ any more.

This comment is rather revealing.

Ships are inanimate objects. Women are sentient humans.

Part of the reason we are in this position right now is that some people have trouble making that distinction between default human (ie men), service human (ie women), and object (the way some also view women). Is it really so easy to miss? Sadly, it is: it's clear even on a women's support site that some people really don't view women as fully human, able to assert our own rights, our individual autonomy, or even something so basic as our own personal preference of identity. (Cf. 'but it's really your father's name!')

It's as if once women marry we're expected to disappear. A category of name and a title announcing our sexual status is grotesque, IMO, whoever's family name a woman ends up retaining or adopting.

A name - just that, not a 'maiden' name - is surely sufficient to identify a person in this day and age. Titles are long since obsolete.

Brava!

No problem with the word maiden, it simple relates to unmarried/young woman and all the virginity stuff you talk about I would even consider associating with it, I don't think most people would in modern times (in progressive countries at least).

The word can remain as it still clearly fits and is inoffensive, you need to change your own perception of it to modern times.

You are over thinking it. That may well be the origin of the word but these days it is just an accepted term for what surname you went by pre marriage. I am a feminist but do not find the term in the least but offensive.

We can move with the times, few people say ‘Christian name’ any more.

Really? I can't say I have noticed. I still here this used regularly.

'You are over thinking it.'

Ah yes, there's always one 🙄

I'm with you OP, it's so outdated and old fashioned, as is the whole practice of dumping your own last name and 'taking your husband's name's if you get married. Should have gone out with the ark

Women are always 'overthinking' things, or too sensitive, or overemotional/hysterical. We are very used to hearing our concerns dismissed in this way as trivial and unworthy of attention because they're mere women's concerns.

Some posters are giving away quite a lot about their own internalised prejudices on this thread.

@PeapodMcgee the issue isnt worthy of your level of aggression. I don't think anybody in real life is suddenly going to think about what you are doing with your bits when they find out your marital status 🤣

Birth name is boring. Maiden name is fine. Then again I still say spinster, which will no doubt raise some hackles. Nice short descriptive name. Abundantly clear, like bachelor.

Why does it need to be 'exciting'? Birth name is absolutely fine.

How are you reading aggression? I calmly said the word fuck.

The point is, it is nobody's business really what my marital status is. Just as a man isn't called anything other than Mr after marriage.

I have, in the past been accused of lying about being married because I don't wear a ring or call myself Mrs. There is indeed a level of inappropriate nosiness levelled at people, purely because of their sex.

Because if we go down that path and just have functionality to our lives, we might as well have numbers as names. Daily life deserves a bit of spirit.

Maiden name doesn't scream spirit to me. In fact, quite the opposite.

Spinster makes me think of spiders.

Bachelor seems outdated, but not as much as spinster!

Maiden name is still better than 'name of the bloke my mother was married to whilst fucking somebody else's husband after she changed her mind about me having my actual father's name because she wouldn't be able to claim benefits as a widowed mother when her husband was admitted to intensive care/expected to die when i was a newborn and my actual father was horrified at this, at which point she decided that not only would I not have his name, I wouldn't have a relationship or any knowledge of him either.

It's not my birth name. It's the name my mother used to commit fraud after I was born, it's the name I was known by as a child and as such I will happily chuck it in the bin on marriage.

My mother also decided unilaterally that I, aged 10, should now be known by the surname of my new deadbeat stepfather - I dropped it as soon as I left school (stepfather is also long gone).

Names can be a complicated business.

Can we use ‘birth name’ and rid our names and status from this idea of being a ‘maiden’?

I quite like the idea of being a maiden so I voted YABU.

I’d go for overthinking over underthinking any day of the week!

I used it recently on another thread - mainly (stupidly?) because I couldn’t think how else to refer to it. Birth name is a much better alternative (that I’d not thought of bizarrely) but still feels clunky somehow.

’maiden’ conjures up an image of a female in a long dress, wearing a bonnet and carrying a wicker basket!
Birth name
First name
Last name
simple!

Yes, completely outdated.

I totally get why you dont want to keep it. Is there a reason you've chosen to use it this long, and still do now? This is assuming you're an adult of course.

Exhausting. Languages change when use changes so absolutely don’t use it and I don’t use it and eventually we will see this as archaic. At the moment we’ve got bigger fish to fry. Stop using it.

Personally I’m ready for my old crone name - Old Dame Blobbity feels about right.

I think ‘maiden name’ is pretty entrenched, although I agree it’s an anachronism and I try not to use it.

I work in the construction/architecture industry and ‘master’ is no longer used on plans. ‘Principal’ to denote the main bedroom has taken over.

I quite like it! But it does just make me think of Maid Marion so maybe I am just being totally basic...