To not want to give up masturbation?

[Gwendoline1989]

I see my boyfriend everyday, we have sex most days, fairly new relationship but have known each other for 17 years. But I still masturbate sometimes. Maybe once or twice a week. Nothing to do with sex with him, just sometimes I need to unwind and it helps. Sometimes it helps me sleep. He hates the fact I do it. Thinks it means I think he’s shit in bed (he really isnt, he’s actually probably the best I’ve had in bed) but he wants me to give it up. I’ve asked if it’s a deal breaker and he said it might be…
what would you do?
do you still masturbate even if a happy relationship with a healthy sex life?

I have twin 15 year old boys so I’m done with children and he knows that. Wanted to have a hysterectomy a few years ago when I had issues with bleeding heavily but the mirena coil ended up fixing it and the second that sucker is expired I’m having it replaced with another one then hopefully that should do me until menopause

Oh, you are back. Good. I have questions.

Why does he need to know that you masterbate? Why does it come up in conversation? Can't you just get on with it privately and not tell him? It's worked for most people since the dawn of time.

And even then…it’s none of his business 🤣

A random pervert? I’m a 36 year old (in august) single mum of twin 15 year old boys. I work in civil service in the west midlands.

Well I hope none of that is true or you are well and truly outed. Let's hope the DM don't want this one or you could be getting some nods and winks at work next week.

I think I’m just going to do thag tbh I have no idea how it even came up! But yeah j agree he doesn’t need to know

It doesn't sound like you're worried about him trying to control you though? Why are you happy to allow him to think you have capitulated to his insecurities?

This would be worth all five stars, for me. You would be changing your reasonable behaviour to avoid his unreasonable reaction.

A red flag to me.

Masturbation in private is fine.

I've found I masturbated more when I had a really good love life, because I'd be thinking about what we did together and - well, there you go!

Your original question seems like it's from a 19 year old!! What on earth are you doing even giving this nonsense the time of day???
You've now received more than enough input into whether this seems to be appropriate or not (and convinced enough people to share their own intimate preferences) so either have a conversation with him and sort this out or don't. Posting about it on MN any further isn't going to change anything. At the moment the chronic oversharing about the minute details of your and his days is overkill (and also...good lord...what on earth are you doing?!?!). Suggest you grow up a bit, get yourself some therapy so you can learn how to establish appropriate boundaries and actually get some useful information, and stop looking to Chat GPT/Mumsnet for answers about what to do in a relationship. It's astonishing that anyone needs to tell you this at your age!! I would expect this thing from someone the age of your teenage children, not someone in your position.

Or YOU could have scrolled on by...

I dont tell dh and dh doesnt tell me. Don't share

Why? This person wanted comments. And they claim to have kids - so someone needs to make it clear to OP that this is utterly ridiculous, if for no other reason than to hopefully result in them spending more time paying attention to their children and less time faffing about with weird men and chat GPT!

Red flag op
I'd tell him to bore off he's a man child

Does he not go to the toilet? Have showers? That's almost certainly when he does it.