AIBU to be disappointed about this?

[mrsm43s]

Later this week, on my birthday, we're doing a long train journey to visit friends for a few days. Whenever we do these long journeys, we always book them over lunchtime, and do a "train picnic" of nice food e.g afternoon tea style and share some prosecco or anti pasta style and share some red. It means that our trip starts when we get in the train, and the journey flies by.

DH booked the train tickets, and he just accepted the default seating rather than selecting seats, and as a consequence we're stuck on a middle and aisle seat with no table. So lunch is pretty much going to be a sarnie and a bottle of water as there's no table space, the journey is going to be long, boring and uncomfortable, squashed in next to a stranger.

We've tried to change seats now, but as it's a couple of days away, there's no availability of seats at a table, and no availability in first class either.

I feel like instead of my birthday starting at 11.30am once we're on the train, it's not going to start until 3pm when we arrive, and the journey is something to be tolerated, rather than something to be enjoyed.

I don't want to be spoilt, and I get that I'm going to have a lovely time with my friends, but I'm really grumpy and disappointed. I think it's mostly because DH has form for this kind of stuff, always taking the quick, easy way, and never checking anything.

AIBU to be pissed off? And does anyone have any ideas of how to make the journey more fun, or special/treat lunch ideas possible to eat when sitting in a cramped middle seat?

Gosh the misery guts are out tonight aren’t they?
wouldn’t bother me at all Op and I would wish you Happy Birthday. People are allowed to enjoy themselves so YANBU to feel disappointed. I hope you still manage to have a nice time though.

Why do other people have to be tolerant of something just because you are? Isn't that actually intolerance?

I'd say people calling others 'misery guts', simply for expressing a different view, may be the ones with less tolerance overall. Just a thought.

Omg op i think you have this ALL wrong!! I would be mortified to sit at a table for 4 with my dh & 2 random strangers & try to whip out that sort of a picnic & eat & chat to my dh with strangers observing every mouthful & listening to every word...I simply wouldn't do it!!

In this situation I would actively lookfor the private side by side seats so we can eat / drink & chat in relative privacy

I'm 100% team dh, he's done you a huge favour & i think you're being pretty silly.

Looking at this photo, the pair of seats main featured look quite spacious (albeit the tables are pretty small, and nowhere close to half a 4 person table). But look at the row behind! Really cramped!

You sound very rigid and stuck in your ways, he is probably not gutted you are bothered, just gutted that you have made such a fuss about a not very big deal (I'm guessing this might be a regular feature of his life?). You can still have a train picnic. Use one of your tables to put the sharing platter on and the other for your drinks. Plus it's only a 3.5 hour journey not an epic voyage.

It's a train, designed to trandport people, not a dining experience. Make do, like everyone else!

Not having a table, if you wanted one is annoying (I also don’t understand why, but it sounds like he booked the wrong type of train?) Not travelling backwards would be annoying to me, so I’d want DH to have booked that, and would have reminded him to do so (especially if he had firm for not thinking things through)

I don’t understand why you can’t have to same food and drink, just presented differently.
And where do you get figs at this time of year?

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/food/article-6316723/Food-critic-Jay-Rayner-divides-Twitter-middle-class-train-picnic.html

I can see why you think this sounds like a nice idea but I do think it’s a bit inconsiderate towards others to take up a whole 4 person table with a whole picnic and wine. Plus, it’s not that special in standard class. If I wanted to make my birthday really special I’d have made sure I booked first class or a quieter carriage at least and either ordered food from the first class menu or booked all the seats around a table in a quieter carriage.

I've travelled on lner countless times it's more than fine! I'm able to work from those flip down tables. If you're that fussy you should book first class

This thread is insane.

People are allowed to eat and drink on trains. Intercity trains serve food and drink, including hot food, wine and beer. Railway stations are full of takeaway food and drink outlets. It is completely reasonable to eat what you like on a train. If you are bothered by the sounds of smells of other people doing perfectly allowable things on the train, maybe don't take the train

People are entitled to their own space on a train. If you have a table between four of you, you have a quarter of it each. You can spread the food on your bit of the table, but not on someone else's bit. Over the course of your journey, you could, of course, put different food on the table at different times.

Baby wipes are a perfectly legitimate way to wipe sticky fingers and faces when you are on a train.

Sigh. As said, we do not take up a whole 4 person table. We sit opposite each other and put the food in front of us, fully contained (with space to spare) on our half of the table. Not encroaching on anyone else in any way at all.

Exactly this. So much nicer to have a tiny bit of privacy!

Well I’ve just read everything you plan on taking on the train with you and maybe it’s just me but I can’t imagine all of that fitting on one half of the table, it’s a lot of food! I know sometimes the tables are quite big but even so, it’s going to be very cramped.

I've been on trains with a middle seat (where it's 3 seats across from 3 seats if that makes sense?) but that's the 'slow train' which you're on for at most 40 minutes. Never been on a long haul train with the same layout

The reason this keeps coming up is because in an earlier post you listed all the items you’d be serving and there is NO WAY they would fit on half a table. Many of us travel on trains a lot and we know how exactly big the table is. I suspect you’ve not noticed how much you’re impinging into your neighbours space because you’re so busy drinking your wine and eating your picnic and having a jolly time ;)

These are just your opinions.
Other people are allowed to disagree or point out factually incorrect opinions. 😬

If it's LNER then the table extender thing that is for laptops is also perfectly sized to fit the plastic Chinese takeaway tubs. The lip round the top holds them in perfectly (as discovered by a Lego building child!)

Take your picnic in a couple of those.

If you are next to each other you probably have more space than at a table. Or pack a little plastic chopping board and put it across both tables.

I listed a selection of items. We would not take all of the items all of the time. As I clarified, probably one supermarket selection pack, 2 or 3 tubs (olives etc), a couple of ciabatta rolls and some fruit. We take an appropriate amount for 2 people for 1 meal. We're staying in hotels, we don't want any leftovers. Oh and a bottle of wine.

We always keep (easily) within our half of the table. If we'd accidentally bought more than could fit on our side (never happened yet), we'd keep it in our bag.

I haven't read the full thread but have you been on the rail Co's seat booking to move yours seats? I travel a lot for work and found that a lot of colleagues didn't know this was an option. Also, don't give up hope. If a train isn't that busy, lots of seats will be unoccupied.

Is there a carriage of unreserved seats?

We often move from our reserved seats - dd has severe allergies and can get quite anxious if someone opens up nuts next to her. So in the past we have moved to the unreserved carriage, which is quieter and has tables available. Never had an issue doing this.

And your picnics sound lovely @mrsm43s I wouldn’t mind that at all. In fact I would be jealous!

All of which will fit on the fold down tables in the seats you have booked, so no issue!

Completely agree. It seems to have made people quite irrationally angry.

I also don't think OP said they would have all the food out at the same time for all those getting antsy thinking she is encroaching on others space.