AIBU to be disappointed about this?

[mrsm43s]

Later this week, on my birthday, we're doing a long train journey to visit friends for a few days. Whenever we do these long journeys, we always book them over lunchtime, and do a "train picnic" of nice food e.g afternoon tea style and share some prosecco or anti pasta style and share some red. It means that our trip starts when we get in the train, and the journey flies by.

DH booked the train tickets, and he just accepted the default seating rather than selecting seats, and as a consequence we're stuck on a middle and aisle seat with no table. So lunch is pretty much going to be a sarnie and a bottle of water as there's no table space, the journey is going to be long, boring and uncomfortable, squashed in next to a stranger.

We've tried to change seats now, but as it's a couple of days away, there's no availability of seats at a table, and no availability in first class either.

I feel like instead of my birthday starting at 11.30am once we're on the train, it's not going to start until 3pm when we arrive, and the journey is something to be tolerated, rather than something to be enjoyed.

I don't want to be spoilt, and I get that I'm going to have a lovely time with my friends, but I'm really grumpy and disappointed. I think it's mostly because DH has form for this kind of stuff, always taking the quick, easy way, and never checking anything.

AIBU to be pissed off? And does anyone have any ideas of how to make the journey more fun, or special/treat lunch ideas possible to eat when sitting in a cramped middle seat?

@mrsm43s

So if you did have a table, wouldn’t you be sharing it with others anyway? You would only be able to use half a table for - what sounds like - a pretty large picnic. What if the person next to you needs the table for their laptop/is trying to work? Surely only a few items at a time would fit? Would a lap tray work?
TBH, I just wouldn’t do that on a train! I’d feel bad getting that amount of food out and potentially annoying other passengers. A quick sandwich which I’d eat discreetly. Do you think your husband potentially thinks a train picnic is OTT, and booked to avoid this happening again?

Oh dear………..really?!?!

OP it's not the point of your post but as others have said, there's likely to be one coach of unreserved seats. You'll probably also find that many of the reserved seats are empty. I regularly take long distance trains for work and the system we use at work always books you a seat, even if you have an open ticket and may not end up getting that exact train. Or sometimes I choose to sit somewhere else than my booked seat. You can probably move once you get on.

Of course it's bloody controlling to try to dictate what someone else is allowed to eat when they're fully contained within their own space on a train table.

It's not unreasonable to say that people should stick in their own space, but I've repeatedly confirmed we always stay well within our half of the table. We're not bringing on excessively smelly or noisy food either. And we have good table manners, don't slurp, chomp or gulp, nor do we talk with our mouth full, lean into other people's space, nor elbow people or any of other invented scenarios that others are describing.

We're eating M&S deli snacks for lunch on a train, bought from the station and eaten on a train where eating is allowed and they actually sell and serve hot food.

What I eat in my space isn't someone else's choice.

Sure, but other people are allowed to complain / feel a bit miffed about it too. You’re hyper defensive on this thread which says to me you know on some level YABU.

Not as annoying as intolerant people thinking that normal talk is “loud”, because they’re working!

Tough, I’m on a day out with family etc, part of that day is travelling and chatting…. Manage your time better and work in an office! I’ll order food that’s available, share it, eat it and enjoy it. My working day is not spent on a train, that’s not my office. If it’s your office, then get yourself some sort of privacy screen or ear buds etc.

No one is going to be quiet enough to be sat right next to you, whilst you’re working and you be happy with it.

With your elbow moaning and sighing at your report and spreadsheets!

Well…. No. You’re right next to each other. You’re not in seperate pods. I honestly think you sound ridiculously precious, but we’re all different. I hope you manage to salvage some enjoyment from your birthday, despite your disappointment.

If you ride any sort of transport, you need to have consideration for other passengers - and their right to a comfortable journey too.
Plug sockets for laptops are available on trains, so it is a place where people can work or could be expected to work. I think anyone working on a train would be discreet and would expect that there may be disruption.

I do think a train picnic is a bit over indulgent and perhaps OTT in terms of the impact on other passengers/someone else using the table.

Why so aggressive?

Two separate airline-style train tables don’t add up to the same amount of space as half of a four-person table, though. More risk of droppage.

I’m with OP: I’d prefer sharing the big table for a train picnic (I’m astonished at the “this isn’t a thing” people, who can’t travel much?) – window seat each, sitting opposite each other so you can negotiate leg room and not crane your neck sideways talking to each other, bigger table, less hemmed in.

I travel loads, that’s why I don’t bother taking a massive picnic every time!

LNER trains always have that one couple or group per carriage who bring on a picnic, start with prosecco at 10am and move on to a bottle of red by 11, crunch their way through the journey and speak and laugh more and more loudly as the hours go by and the bottle gets empty. I always wonder how can so many people be so clueless and inconsiderate to other passengers, and who on earth are these people. Guess this provides a partial answer…

You sound insufferable!
Picnics should be outdoors and train tables are disgusting. If I were your husband I’d send you on your own and get some peace.

You sound delightful, not!

If I were your husband I’d travel alone as well!

Oh my god get a grip. Drive if other humans bother you so

This thread has become quite hilarious, one of the most bizarre subjects I've ever come across.

Jesus Christ. Eating is not anyway antisocial, unpleasant for others, disgusting, smelly or disruptive.

do none of you leave the house? People eat everywhere because it’s totally normal and socially acceptable to do so

mumsnet is INSANE about food. I’ve never seen so many disordered people gathered in one place and I’m an alumini of tumblr’s proana pages. At least the openly ill people there managed to deliver their harmful messages without a side order of sneer.

Of course it's bloody controlling to try to dictate what someone else is allowed to eat when they're fully contained within their own space on a train table

you're on public transport. Social convention dictates that you are considerate of other people. You are clearly not. I’m not sure whether it’s because you can’t read social norms or because you have a se se of entitlement. Either way it makes people like you unpleasant to be around.

Same as people who do their make up; paint their nails; have loud phone conversations; change babies on tables; listen to phones without headphones etc etc

it’s all anti social and pointing that out is not controlling.

Yeah those bastards having a nice time with their friends. How dare they.

The voice of reason!!

I’m not sure one person in this thread has said she shouldn’t eat… they’ve just suggested this isn’t the most considerate WAY to eat in a shared, crowded space.

Literally no one is complaining about eating.

They’re pointing out that a table picnic is disruptive and irritating.

As a vegan I expect to be faced with non-vegan foods etc out and about, so I'm not saying you shouldn't, but, yes, I'd personally hate being stuck next to you eating smelly cured meat on a long train journey 🤢

Op is not boarding until 11.30, so all good!

And they laugh….. they actually laugh 😆 in public…

Pull the emergency cord? Stop
the train! .

Well guess what, attempting to dictate what people can eat and when and how, according to your own (incredibly narrow) definition of what is ok is equally as anti-social and selfish as cracking open a roll and pot of mozzarella balls.