AIBU to be disappointed about this?

[mrsm43s]

Later this week, on my birthday, we're doing a long train journey to visit friends for a few days. Whenever we do these long journeys, we always book them over lunchtime, and do a "train picnic" of nice food e.g afternoon tea style and share some prosecco or anti pasta style and share some red. It means that our trip starts when we get in the train, and the journey flies by.

DH booked the train tickets, and he just accepted the default seating rather than selecting seats, and as a consequence we're stuck on a middle and aisle seat with no table. So lunch is pretty much going to be a sarnie and a bottle of water as there's no table space, the journey is going to be long, boring and uncomfortable, squashed in next to a stranger.

We've tried to change seats now, but as it's a couple of days away, there's no availability of seats at a table, and no availability in first class either.

I feel like instead of my birthday starting at 11.30am once we're on the train, it's not going to start until 3pm when we arrive, and the journey is something to be tolerated, rather than something to be enjoyed.

I don't want to be spoilt, and I get that I'm going to have a lovely time with my friends, but I'm really grumpy and disappointed. I think it's mostly because DH has form for this kind of stuff, always taking the quick, easy way, and never checking anything.

AIBU to be pissed off? And does anyone have any ideas of how to make the journey more fun, or special/treat lunch ideas possible to eat when sitting in a cramped middle seat?

I would feel entirely different if at the time of booking no table seats were available than I do knowing DH didn't bother to book a table seat even though that's what we had agreed on.

Yes of course we can adapt, but I shouldn't have to because it wouldn't be necessary if DH had taken care and done his job properly.

Believe it or not, we generally have a pretty solid relationship, he has a big heart and is my favourite person. But I really struggle with how careless he is.

No, that's not it. 100% sure of that.

You're not unreasonable to be annoyed with him for not doing what he promised. If he doesn't enjoy it he needs to tell you, rather than just "forgetting". Have you asked him if he just didn't want to do it? The picnic, I mean.

I was referring to the other issue you mentioned upthread and your feeling that he can be a bit careless.

I've never had Prosecco, but is it not supposed to be drunk cold? I imagine it would be too warm to enjoy by the time you get settled on the train and get round to opening it.

share some red

sounds like a much better option.

No, he did want to. He just skipped the seat booking part of the process in error. It's a very "him" thing to do to just assume that he'll be automatically allocated the seats he wants, rather than checking and booking the right ones. He didn't clock until I asked him today if we had aisle or window seats, up til that point he hadn't even checked that we had seats together. Didn't occur to him.

It's easy enough to keep wine cool for a few hours for a picnic if you want to. But red works too!

Do you get a table on return journey?

Ok you're disappointed your ritual has been broken. DH is aware you're upset, don't let it spoil the day.

Yeah, but they're generally not considered offensive smells, being of the floral/minty kind. I used to sniff a mint scented gel pen if I started feeling sick at school, and didn't have any peppermints on me, and it helped.

It's a long time since I've been in standard class LNER but all 1st class have tables and I'm sure all Standard Class have too. It's usually possible to upgrade to 1st on the day of travel.

Indeed. And I usually listen to music (with headphones on, before anyone comes for me) so wouldn't notice. I also always carry snacks, even if it's just cereal bars, because the people mithering about people eating on trains do not want to be near me when my blood sugar drops and I start feeling sick, because I will actually be sick if I don't eat something.

I was a bit surprised at the lack of availability of seats, but now I know it’s LNER I’m astounded. I get the LNER to and from London regularly and have never had trouble booking the exact type of seat I wanted even with 30 minutes notice.

There should be an unbooked carriage that you can a table seat in, and keep trying to book seats on the LNER website up until the day of the journey as I wonder if they stage the release of seats as it’s so bizarre for all of the table seats to be booked days in advance.

YABU
What a selfish thing to do.
You can't treat a public space as private!
At least your DH seems to have some self-awareness.

It's probably just not as much a priority for DH, he goes along with it as it's your birthday.

You have got me looking at photos of train picnics online, some of them are banquets!

Really!!

I haven’t read the full thread but my god the amount of aggro you’re getting over this is ridiculous! I can see how the picnic would be a nice way to kick off the celebrations and that you’d be disappointed it’s not going to be as you hoped.

A small picnic would easily fit on 1/2 a train table. I wouldn’t mind a bit if a couple next to me were having lunch on the train! I’ve found mumsnet can have such weird and stuffy attitudes about food. We all need to eat. Eating doesn’t have to mean slurping, chomping, gulping. You can be considerate of others without spending your life tiptoeing on eggshells! If you’re so offended at the horrifying sight of someone eating lunch then maybe public transport isn’t for you.

That said OP, you can still have a good trip, just need to shift your expectations. As loads of others have said the tray tables can still make a version of this possible. Could actually be nice to feel a little more private with fully your own space. It’s ok to feel a bit miffed but don’t spoil your own fun by dwelling on it.

I don’t get how, now you know there’s a table, that it’s still an inconvenience? The seats on LNER are fairly roomy as far as trains go so I’m sure you’ll survive this once…

I think you are a prime candidate for the quiet coach. But people still might eat crisps in there so be careful.

The non booked coaches are always more empty than the booked ones. You will be fine. Just get there early and find a table.

This is ridiculous - if you're that intolerant to other humans simply existing around you, it might be best to avoid public transport.

Just go to carriage C on LNER it’s the unreserved carriage and as long as you get there fairly early you will get a table seat.

That’s exactly what it is.

Why on earth can’t the OP be happy with a sandwich and a cup of tea for once? Nobody is so special they have to eat garlic-scented antipasti on a train.

Calling posters controlling for not wanting to sit next to a “table picnic” on a train is quite the stretch.

it’s the faffing that would kill me: Carrier bag opened…two cartons on table… struggle with lid on first…oooh and ahh over content… “try this it’s lovely, no go on, just one…”…carrier bag back on table…rummaging for platter…repeat as before…and again….now the bread…now the gapes…all whilst drinking a bottle of red wine

just eat a sandwich, over and done with, rubbish away.

You don't exist independently in this world, grow up. Sometimes you're going to see, hear and smell other people. You're gonna have to learn to cope with that. 🙄FWIW, none of the food she named is even smelly.

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