WIBU that I didn't want to drive 80 miles, and 2 hours to see my girlfriend for an hour before she left for a 3 week road trip?

[ByPoisedCat]

Hey all, first post here. My girlfriend was leaving for vacation for three weeks. We were supposed to spend a couple days together before she left. Instead she decided to leave Thursday morning instead of Saturday so we never got those extra days together. I understood and was fine with that.

I play basketball from 6-8 every Wednesday which she knows about and she wanted me to come up after anyways. For reference she lives 40 miles away and it takes me an hour to get there. I explained to her that might be a little rough for me to drive one hour up there, spend an hour and drive an hour to get back home as I had to work the next day.

Since she was going on a road trip and was supposed to be leaving at 3 AM. Yes, I could have slept over and worked from her place. I didn't sleep over because I didn't want to be woken up in the middle of the night because when I do I have a hard time falling back to sleep. I suggested that she leaves at 8 AM that way I could stay over and she was not on board with that (the kicker is that she actually left at 11:00 the next morning because she overslept)

There was a little bit of going back-and-forth with text and it was generally "You could have skipped basketball, and my response was "You could have left at 8 AM, or you could have left a day later, or kept the original plan and left Saturday. and she’s like “ I’m not talking about this during my vacation and we will talk when I get home”

Since then, we haven’t texted in a couple days because I took her message as “leave me alone until I get back.”

TL:DR WIBU for not canceling my plans or not wanting to driving two hours to spend an hour with my girlfriend before she left for a 3 week road trip?

This.
She needs to take accountability, in that it's her change of plans which really prevented the meet up prior to her trip, and not you having a life/plans outside of the relationship.

I am American. I drive to her house all the time and 80 miles is nothing.

But it isn’t nothing on a Wednesday night when I wouldn’t get there till 930, I can only stay an hour, then have to drive another 40 miles back home especially when I have to work the next day.

Keep in mind I did offer her a compromise. Which is, I will come over after basketball., stay the night and I asked her can she leave at 8 AM instead of 3 AM that way I wouldn’t get woken up in the middle of the night.

She had no interest in that. And to make matters worse, she didn’t end up leaving at 3 AM. She left at like 11 am because she got a late start.

So at best she was blind to the effect that round trip midweek was going to have on you; at worst she simply didn’t care.

She doesn’t sound like a great catch to be honest.

If i was in a relationship with someone that didn’t contact me for 3 weeks I would assume it was over

You dont really seem into your girlfriend. Sounds like she’s a bit of an inconvenience to you. If this was me and this was the only time I’d see my husband before he went away I would 100% have missed basketball and travelled to see him.

This much drama 4 months in is just not worth it, imo. Surely at that point you should still be keen and enthusiastic. If a decent night's sleep before a three week separation is more important than a bit of time together, and then you're both also doubling down in being petty and not replying, then this doesn't sound like something that will last much longer.

If you wanted to see each and time was tight then simply FaceTime or similar. My husband used to travel extensively for work. To stay connected he would take his laptop to dinner (if dining alone), put his earphones on and we would eat together via Teams. Apart but connected for a short while. Simples.

Zombie thread. Why do people resurrect these months old threads???