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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Photo of husband posted on Facebook group with allegation - legalities?

622 replies

Hattie24 · 04/07/2025 23:35

Earlier I was alerted to a post by a woman on our town’s community Facebook page. It is a rant about a flat in her block being used by a group of prostitutes which is causing issues at unsociable hours and how the landlord isn’t doing anything about it. Under this there are photos of various men at the entrance of the block of flats and one of them is my husband. The insinuation is that these have all been visiting that flat.

I want to know the legalities of this woman posting such an allegation as she is outright refusing to remove the post. It is obviously extremely humiliating for me (friends and no doubt colleagues have seen it) and there’s so many comments underneath. We’ve been on a ‘break’ due to various issues but still living together and haven’t been intimate for nearly a year so I don’t need a lecture on how I shouldn’t have married such a man.

Is it me or is someone putting up a post like this without any thought for the consequences on various families etc utterly disgusting?

OP posts:
TryingAgainAgainAgain · 04/07/2025 23:38

His using prostitutes is utterly disgusting. Do you really think he deserves anonymity?

Hattie24 · 04/07/2025 23:39

TryingAgainAgainAgain · 04/07/2025 23:38

His using prostitutes is utterly disgusting. Do you really think he deserves anonymity?

It’s not about him. It’s his family who will suffer the consequences of the post

OP posts:
PeapodMcgee · 04/07/2025 23:41

Your ex is humiliating himself, not you, unless you are pretending to be together for some reason. You can only choose better standards for yourself.

TheCurious0range · 04/07/2025 23:41

Hattie24 · 04/07/2025 23:39

It’s not about him. It’s his family who will suffer the consequences of the post

He should've thought about that. I've worked with women who sell sex, the trauma and damage I have seen would make you ill, your husband is disgusting.

MikeRafone · 04/07/2025 23:42

well you know where she luves

id seek legal advise

does she have proof that any of the men visited the particular flat?

MrsKeats · 04/07/2025 23:42

The photo is not the issue here.

MissBattleaxe · 04/07/2025 23:42

If he's out in public the law says he can legally be photographed. If he is in a place where he can reasonably expect privacy, I e at home indoors, then he may have caused. I think the exception may only apply to minors, but I await wiser minds to clarify.

Hattie24 · 04/07/2025 23:43

MikeRafone · 04/07/2025 23:42

well you know where she luves

id seek legal advise

does she have proof that any of the men visited the particular flat?

No, it’s on the basis she ‘knows’ none of them live there and were seen arriving and leaving within the space of an hour. Seems like a few residents working together with her as the ringleader.

OP posts:
Redshoeblueshoe · 04/07/2025 23:43

So what was he doing at the flat ?

JazzyJelly · 04/07/2025 23:43

Why are you not angry at him for you and your family suffering the consequences of his disgusting behaviour?

Ponderingwindow · 04/07/2025 23:44

If he is buying consent, the least he deserves is to have his face plastered far and wide.

TeenLifeMum · 04/07/2025 23:44

Sadly the consequences are from his behaviour rather than those posting unless it’s libel - if he was there to fix the plumbing then implying he’s seeing prostitutes would be libel. If he’s visiting prostitutes then he brought this on himself. His behaviour affects his family. Blame him. (I do hate vigilante fb but don’t do things you’ll be photographed for)

MikeRafone · 04/07/2025 23:45

There was a photo of a man on my local facebook stating that he had stolen £200 from a house he was working at

where is the proof

but everyone jumps on the bandwagon, without any evidence- it’s incorrect for people to make public claims without proof

Howareyoufeelingtoday · 04/07/2025 23:45

I would be making your " break" with him permanent OP.
And let him deal with the issue of the photograph of him visiting the brothel himself.

Hattie24 · 04/07/2025 23:45

Redshoeblueshoe · 04/07/2025 23:43

So what was he doing at the flat ?

He says he was seeing a physio for treatment of a muscle injury linked to his rugby playing.

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock000 · 04/07/2025 23:46

I'm sorry this happened to your family.
People rarely consider the consequences of what they post online.
If the neighbours were gathering evidence, they should have sent it to the police.

lovemeblender · 04/07/2025 23:46

Your husband has brought shame and humiliation to his family, I think you are misplacing your anger and disgust here.

ShamrockShenanigans · 04/07/2025 23:47

Hattie24 · 04/07/2025 23:45

He says he was seeing a physio for treatment of a muscle injury linked to his rugby playing.

Great, he can provide the physio's details then as they're working from home 👍

AcademicallyAverageTeddy · 04/07/2025 23:47

If it's not true, then it's libel.
But you don't seem to be saying that it isn't true, just that you want the photo taken down?

Cheesystick · 04/07/2025 23:47

My basic knowledge -

Well legally it could be defamation - her post implies your husband has been partaking in illegal activity. Your husband would have to lodge a civil claim and the woman would have to prove he was paying for sex. If she can't, he could win the case.
If she could, he wouldn't.
Based on what you've said, she couldn't prove it at all - him being outside a block of flats does not prove he was visiting a particular flat and then paying for sex within it.

The reality is this sort of thing costs thousands and thousands of pounds to pursue.

Your husband could report the photo to Facebook asking for it to be removed - citing defamation etc.

He could also message the woman directly threatening defamation.

Hattie24 · 04/07/2025 23:49

Cheesystick · 04/07/2025 23:47

My basic knowledge -

Well legally it could be defamation - her post implies your husband has been partaking in illegal activity. Your husband would have to lodge a civil claim and the woman would have to prove he was paying for sex. If she can't, he could win the case.
If she could, he wouldn't.
Based on what you've said, she couldn't prove it at all - him being outside a block of flats does not prove he was visiting a particular flat and then paying for sex within it.

The reality is this sort of thing costs thousands and thousands of pounds to pursue.

Your husband could report the photo to Facebook asking for it to be removed - citing defamation etc.

He could also message the woman directly threatening defamation.

He isn’t on Facebook himself, I’ve messaged her (politely) and she has read but it not replied. I will send something stronger now.

OP posts:
Cheesystick · 04/07/2025 23:49

AcademicallyAverageTeddy · 04/07/2025 23:47

If it's not true, then it's libel.
But you don't seem to be saying that it isn't true, just that you want the photo taken down?

As with all defamation/libel it is up to the person doing the libelling to prove what they say is true - not the person being labelled to prove their innocence.

AcademicallyAverageTeddy · 04/07/2025 23:49

Hattie24 · 04/07/2025 23:45

He says he was seeing a physio for treatment of a muscle injury linked to his rugby playing.

Well hopefully he can send you the booking details

ShamrockShenanigans · 04/07/2025 23:50

Hattie24 · 04/07/2025 23:49

He isn’t on Facebook himself, I’ve messaged her (politely) and she has read but it not replied. I will send something stronger now.

If this is true, then you've obviously reported the photo to Facebook, yes?

Hattie24 · 04/07/2025 23:50

AcademicallyAverageTeddy · 04/07/2025 23:49

Well hopefully he can send you the booking details

Arranged through his club apparently 🙄

I have my doubts.

OP posts: