why is called the SCs home when it isn't?

[cardycard]

I keep seeing this scenario.

Woman with her own house. She is paying for the bills. Her DP moves in. His kids come EOW. Why do so many people say it is the SC's home?

I lived with my parents in the house they owned - my home then.

I lived in the YWCA for 18 months.

That was my home until I moved to the city I still live in. I lodged with a colleague for as long as it took to buy a flat - that was my home for that time.

Then my own flat became my home.

No, it can't be. Because he can lose it at anytime in a split second.

There's a world of difference between a cocklodger who moves in and contributes to nothing and a man who, after a reasoned discussion, moves into his partner's house. Maybe it's bigger, maybe she has children living there all the time and doesn't want to disrupt them, maybe she inherited it there could be many reasons. She might not want to co-own that property as it is her childrens' inheritance so the man might have money invested elsewhere or not. There are many scenarios but I think the OP is only thinking of the first one, if she could be more specific it might help but as she is ignoring every other poster it is hardly worth continuing with the thread.

Just like the house owner could ask their partner to leave with his/her children. What's the difference?

But that goes for lots of the places people call home, your parents can ask/tell an adult child to leave, a landlord can tell a lodger to leave.

By the definitions some people are giving I wonder what the percentage of homeless people there are in the UK? Well over 50% I should think.

Tell the King, he's got a few.

Why don’t you consider the word home to mean a place where you have the right or an agreement to reside rather than conflating it with ownership?

and then why don’t you consider that the minimum any child deserves is security and stability as a close second. And that any point scoring or personal, peculiar interpretations into the specific meaning of a word isn’t really important when children are involved and that you, as an adult have a responsibility to every child in your world to convey a sense of comfort and belonging. Becuse you’re an adult. And they’re kids.

Of course. Home means somewhere you live. Children don't pay for their accommodation - does that mean they don't have a home? If someone gifted me a house and I lived in it, it would be my home.

Your (perfectly justified) annoyance at a man not contributing financially does not change the definition of the word 'home'.

Don’t you go being all sensible on a thread that is clearly not looking for sensible!

Yes that is correct

What has prompted this OP?

So it is a temporary home then?

She’s called them SC . Isn’t that stepchildren? And they’re only step children if she’s the stepmother , which she becomes on marriage. Surely you wouldn’t get to that stage, or even living together, where they aren’t yet SC but the partner’s children, without having the conversation about the children and visitation? And children will call wherever they sleep at the time, home.
OP sounds distinctly unpleasant to me..not because she doesn’t want children, but because it seems there are children who have been allowed to think they are welcomed when they aren’t. Like the children have overstepped some unseen boundary. That’s the fault of adults. Children have little power over their lives and responsible parents put them first in providing security to have somewhere to call home

Homes are often temporary. Mine is. Tenants’ homes can be temporary. Not everyone has a lifetime lease, but in any case it’s not their house. Just their home. People in shelters are in temporary homes. It’s a word that describes where you sleep and keep possessions, eat and relax. It does not denote legal possession. My eldest calls his van home, when he’s working from his motorhome.

I lived with my in laws for 3 months every winter and occasional weekends during the year..I called it home while I was there…in conversation with friends, I’d say I was going home to milk cows or whatever. My own house /other home was 200 miles away.

Surely if a woman who owns a house moves her partner in - who has his children stay EOW - then the fact that the children will be coming to this house EOW would be clearly discussed and arrangements ( bed,rooms etc) made…
May not be Dad’s house - but if it’s Dad’s home, then it is also the children’s home when they are seeing Dad…
If the relationship ends, Dad needs a new home….
Not complicated surely…..?

Aren’t all our childrens’ homes temporary? They’ll all leave one day.

You sound like you’re taking out your (legitimate) anger against your DP against his children. Why do you consider your home to be his home when he isn’t contributing?

My theory is that OP is either:

A. a woman who has recently dumped her partner, and asked him to leave, and consequently received an earful of bitter accusations from him about "depriving my children of their home!"

B. a man who has been recently dumped by his female partner, and wants to accuse her of same so as to guilt her out

Based on OP's responses I'd guess A. But it's a bit of a pointless thread. Even if she waves her phone in her ex's face, saying "but 76% of MN think it's only a TEMPORARY home!", it won't make a shred of difference to how he feels or acts.

Even if the kids sleep there sometimes, it doesn’t automatically make it their home. Their dad’s partner owns the place and has no legal or parental responsibility for them. They aren’t stepchildren yet because there’s no marriage. Until that happens, they’re just their dad’s kids visiting where he lives.

Well if they’re not married, they’re not Stepchildren and that’s a whole different story. Their Dad’s girlfriend’s house isn’t necessarily their home even if they stay over. But in the event of a committed relationship/marriage the woman should accept the children as part of the deal, and if she isn’t prepared to (and that’s perfectly fine) then she shouldn’t marry or commit to him. She should find a childless partner, or the children will end up very damaged from feeling unwanted.

If the woman is feeling that way now, it’s best that he finds his own place to live until she’s ready to blend their lives.

Wow! You really don't like stepkids, do you?

Maybe stop talking in riddles and being so vague about the situation and people might be able to give you a more objective opinion.

Pretty much every home is temporary. I moved out of my parents place when I became an adult, does that mean their house was not my home? My grandma spent the last couple of years of her life in a nursing home, does that mean the house she lived in for over fifty years was just a temporary home? What about the bungalow she moved to for a couple of years before the nursing home? What about when she went into the nursing home and my DH rented the bungalow off her for a year before it sold, was it our home, was it her home because she owned it, was it anyone’s home, in which case were we all homeless at this point? My DH and I, and our kids, moved into a rental property for six months while we were doing an extension. That was definitely a temporary home, but it was still very much our home for those six months. You seem very hung up on this one specific case, whereas there are many situations where a home could be described as temporary. A temporary home is still a home. The important thing is that children feel comfortable in their home. It may not last, few things do, but a home is where you retreat to rest, which can be Dad’s girlfriends house just as easily as anywhere else.

You called them SC ; I didn’t.

Kids will call it home if they sleep there. It’s a turn of phrase. It doesn’t give them legal rights, it is just a term rather than saying, longwindedly, I’m going back to my father’s girlfriend’s house. Semantics. Stop getting your knickers in a twist about a word people use to describe where they’re sleeping. If you’re so upset about the word, maybe you should not ever be in a relationship with a father…in fact, you should never have started this relationship at all. Does the father get to call it home, I wonder?

Everyone acknowledges, children of a partner have no legal rights to a house, but calling it home when they sleep there should not be offensive to the homeowner. Theyre children. If you hate them so much, and you resent them so much then dump the father and have your house and home to yourself.
I’ve read all your posts and I gather you are only interested in posts which validate your hatred of these children.

Is it the Dad’s home while he lives there?