AIBU regarding sex

[AnonAnon135]

My husband and I have been married for 12 years and we have sex on a regular basis, probably at least 2-3 times a week on average (there are times when it's everyday, other times less than once a week). If I have had a long day, I'm tired, sore and on my period, AIBU to not have sex or give my husband a blowjob if he desires it? My husband thinks I'm being unreasonable as sex is his love language. He also thinks that despite the above, we should still be intimate because it is for both of us, not just him (even in this scenario). AIBU to think he is being unfair?

To paraphrase the great Jim Royle:
"Love language my arse!"
YANBU 🤨

Sex is his love language 😂

AIBU to not have sex or give my husband a blowjob if he desires it? My husband thinks I'm being unreasonable as sex is his love language. He also thinks that despite the above, we should still be intimate because it is for both of us, not just him (even in this scenario).

How is giving him a BJ for both of you exactly?

Most men talk like him 100%

But what he doesn’t realise is that if he was single he would not be having sex daily. He is taking you for granted.

Just do want you want but be prepared to separate too.

I see someone asked you the same thing!

he told me that if I don't see how, then it's a problem!

This is his twattish way of deflecting a reasonable question without having to strain himself to come up with an actual reply. He’s pathetic. It’s the equivalent of I know you are but what am I?

My husband also thinks I should be grateful because there are many women who wish they had a husband/partner like him (always wanting to have sex) and that many women complain their husbands/partners don't give them enough, and therefore I'm privileged.

You’re not privileged if that’s not what you bloody want!

Does he even care what you want?

Sex is every man's love language 🙄 YANBU.

Are they any days he gives you oral (and no other sexual activity)? Why on earth should you feel like you have to give him a BJ even though you’re not feeling great? Honestly he would be straight out the door. The fact he’s trying to say a BJ is for both your benefits. Yeah right.

I despair when I read threads like these as there’s no solution to an entitled man, it’s coercion and an absolute turn off. Mine started like this and went on to demand group sex, swingers clubs, etc etc and never stopped pressuring me. Horrendous, you have my sympathy.

No one has a right to sex. Grim to try and persuade someone otherwise. Both willing and enthusiastic parties is surely an absolute necessity.

I've never heard of love language and I wish I hadn't.
Vomit inducing shit.
Oh a BJ is for both of you..aye right.

Never have sex if you don’t want to unless it’s a life threatening emergency…

Perhaps he could widen his definition of his love language? I would be ever so impressed if his love language included listening to what you were saying rather than manipulating you into giving him a blow job when you don't want to.

You’ve got a big red flag parade over there, OP. I’m not sure how you can find a person like this attractive.

You can say no at any time for any or no reason. No need to talk about hormones.

Exactly this. So fed up with hearing the phrase 'love language'. It's nonsense and gives me the ick. In your husband's case, it's clearly just code for 'what I want/demand'.

Can someone tell me what love language means?
It sounds yuck 🤢

What a selfish man. I cannot imagine how I would feel having sex with a woman who was reluctant. Making it a kind of negotiation: "Ok then no fuck but how about you suck me off".
Indefensible!!
I wonder about the 2 or 3 times a week; how many might you initiate or even look forward to?

He’s sounding worse and worse the more you say about him. I don’t think anyone on this thread understands how you giving him a BJ is for you either. Please ask him again for our benefit.

Your husband wants you to have sex even if you are sore and exhausted.

That means he wants to have sex and doesn't care if it hurts you.

He doesn’t care if you don’t enjoy it.

He doesn’t care how you feel at all.

There is no love anywhere in that.

In response to your husband: no woman wants to be married to a selfish, manipulative, cruel man.

I’m so sorry that you are.

Maybe you should try this

1. Put a menstrual cramp simulator on him and turn it up to your usual level of pain.
2. Make him clean the house, run after the kids, cook supper and clan up afterwards (while still on the simulator!)
3. Ask him for oral until YOU climax, then immediately afterwards, just turn over and go to sleep. (And he stays on the damn simulator for however many days you usually have cramps!)
4. Tell him that if he can't understand what 'pleasure/benefit' HE is supposed to get from giving you oral when he's knackered and in pain, tell him 'Now THAT'S a PROBLEM' !

If he's not up for that, then just tell him to fuck off and stop being a selfish arsehole !

You giving HIM a bow job is HIS love language? 🙄 what a prince. I think that phrase would give me the ick.

He has a hand he can use it. He is repulsive , how's he going cope when menopause hits and your sex drive disappears all together cause it will. Sack him off now

Really can’t imagine expecting someone to pleasure me when they were feeling sick/tired/in pain?! It’s a really disgusting attitude. Once I’m hormonal/got my period my DH doesn’t initiate sex as he knows I do not want to ever have it when I’m hormonal or on my period. (Nothing wrong if you do, but I get a lot of pain and have no libido). He has no respect for you. I’d not ever want to have sec with him again if I was you.

My love language would be leaving the bastard 😤