Non-binary teacher?

[Thompson198]

Name change.
I’ve got a 5 year old daughter due to go into year 2 in September. We’ve just been told that the teacher for next year is a non-binary/‘non-gender-conforming’ man who wants to be referred to by ‘Mx’ (pronounced mix) and they/them pronouns.
Quite a few of the parents have already complained and started looking for other places at local schools because of this.
what do you think?
My daughter has SEN and is one of the youngest in her class, I worry how she’s going to be able to keep up with the pronouns and understand this without us having to teach her about gender ideology at her age. My husband is extremely against teaching her gender ideology, especially so young, I’m not the most positive about it either but don’t feel as strongly as him. He also doesn’t want her being at the school in September but they have been very supportive for her so far and I’m concerned it might not be the same elsewhere.
Thoughts? How would you feel if this was your child’s teacher?

I think if you are in teaching and pretending you’re not a man, that’s a red flag. I think if you need small children to ‘validate’ you, that’s a red flag.

I would struggle to pronounce 'mx'

Especially when, as with my DS, the teacher's surname was Schnitzel - poor kids. The amount of saliva across the desks with them trying to pronounce it...

For me the issue is that this has been announced/foregrounded. ‘Mx teacher will be taking y2 next year and their pronouns are they/them’. Consequently parents/pupils are forced to engage rather than ‘just see how they teach’.

We aren’t told a teachers sexuality, married status (unless they use Mrs), religion, how many kids they have, what football team they support, or even their nationality/residency status because - just like their personal gender identity - it isn’t relevant to their teaching even if it is a core aspect of their individual sense of identity. In fact they rarely even share where they studied/got their teacher training qualification, which is actually interesting/useful/pertinent.

This is a male teacher. The centuries-long custom in most cultures is to use male pronouns and Mr when observing male sex. There should be no expectation for children to use any other words in the classroom context. If he prefers to use alternatives, he can request them in the staff room and on his own time, he can even pop them on his name sign at the first parents’ evening to let parents know, incidentally, but it should not be the first thing a school tells you about the teacher.

If that's the case and they are a 'product of their time' as you call it, then they need the reality check that is older and more experienced school staff to guide them on to what is acceptable and normal, and enforce it with policy

Gosh, again I'm glad my two were long past school age when all this nonsense started.

I think you're right to be concerned. Find out how the school intend to explain the teacher's identification to the children. If they're going to say that Mx X is a man who believes it's possible to be neither a man nor a woman, and addressing them by their chosen title means we're respecting their right to hold those beliefs in the same way as (e.g.) a non-Christian would address a nun as 'sister' then I'd be just about OK with that. I could explain at home that the belief that it's possible to be neither male nor female is like a religion that we don't share but that people are entitled to hold.

If the school intends to use ideological language as though it's the truth then that's a different matter. Let's say they tell the children that everyone has a gender identity which can be man, woman or something else, and it doesn't necessarily correspond to your sex, hence Mx X "is non-binary". By presenting that information as factual rather than a new and contested belief system, the school is lying to your child. Schools shouldn't lie to children. If they tell them something is true (albeit over-simplified, because of age) children should be able to trust that it's so, to the best of the teachers' knowledge. Teachers deliberately lying to children isn't just indoctrination, it weakens trust and undermines everything the school is teaching.

I'd want to know how he would answer a five year old child who asked if he was a man or a woman.
If he was not prepared to reply factually, and instead would respond with a load of gender ideology bollocks, I wouldn't want him teaching my child.

Unless you live in an area where there is a massive shortage of teachers I'd also have concerns about the views of the school's senior leadership team, as they have chosen to employ him.

Thinking about it one of the teachers at my local school is Dr.name. kids seem to cope with Dr Mr Mrs Miss and Ms.

I had a lisp at that age. Several years of speech therapy - very common where there is ASD or related SEN. ‘Miss’ (regardless of marital status) and ‘Mr’ were much easier to pronounce than Mx or even Ms…

My daughter joined a secondary school with a man who was non binary and called Mx. He would place any child in detention who accidently called him sir (which is non sensical as this is polite). He used every opportunity to enforce his gender ideology and spent more time on this than actually teaching. He was sacked (let go as an ECT) after 2 terms. What actually surprised me most as when I met him I was expecting to meet a confident charismatic person (judging by his behaviour) but actually he was a shadow-so incredibly insecure in himself and I felt sorry for him. He was obviously lacking so much self belief he thought he could find it in being non binary 🤷‍♀️
I would move her.

I don't think teachers have to answer personal questions do they? Isn't I'm your teacher enough?

It's not really the title, though, but all the stuff that comes with it. If this teacher doesn't cause a fuss if kids get it wrong, and if he doesn't push his gender beliefs, then there's really no problem. Unfortunately, there's no way to know if he's likely to do any of that stuff before he gets into the classroom.

They are just a product of their time.

I'd suggest in that case that the school and the teacher abide by the Equality Act 2010, and the recent Supreme Court ruling on it, and the well-publicised EHRC guidance, and the equally well-publicised statement of support for all of the above from the Prime Minister of the UK.

There’s a female teacher at my kids school that is Mx never really gave it much thought as she hasn’t taught any of my children.

Ha ha

my kid is at an all girls school, her teacher is a woman with (barely) a beard called Mr Smith, they went through a phase of all the senior prefect type people being called Eddie and Tim (whilst being clearly female) one advantage of a girls school I suppose.

Different for secondary of course.

Happy to call him whatever he likes my concern would be what he is going to say to the children. Tricky with SEN if they have been supportive.

So the school should have a policy on how this can be discussed with children IF THEY ASK e.g is - “I was born a man but do not feel like a man or a woman” acceptable?
The issue though is that, as soon as you start down the 'feel like a man or a woman' road, you get into gender stereotypes. 'I don't feel like a man because I don't like football,' 'I don't feel like a woman because I like my hair short/don't want to wear make-up' etc.

Exactly. I don't understand how people have been fooled into thinking gender ideology is progressive. It's as regressive as it comes!

Circumcision FGM

A six year old deserves an explanation about why this person - clearly a man - uses Mx and they/them when all the other male teachers use the societally accepted terms for male teachers.

Of course they are going to ask questions about this. The OP needs to know how she (and the school) are going to explain how this person is somehow not a man, while obviously being a man.

Conflating acceptance of gender ideology with being gay is extremely homophobic .

Civilised society moves on and accepts the full inclusion of those previously excluded from full public life . These people have been female , people of colour , gay , lesbian or bisexual or living with disabilities..

Gender ideology by contrast is extremely regressive .
In this instance telling a small child that a man ‘is not a man if he says so ‘ presents a huge safeguarding risk .

My brother has a non binary partner, and my DC (4) has grasped this much more easily than you’d expect! I just explained that they think some things about them feel more like a boy, and some things feel more like a girl, so they use they instead because that can be for a boy or a girl. I usually follow up by re-emphasising that really, anything can be for boys or girls - to soften the concept, and I guess put forward my own ideology a bit.

He can be a human being without worrying about anything else.

So when your child gets confused about whether their teacher is a man or a woman, how is that going to be handled? Are they going to deny biology and lie to your child?

Do you have to play along to be kind? Because this isn’t like the tooth fairy or Santa Clause, that is completely made up make believe, this is their teacher effectively lying to them about something they can express in their own time.

Religious teachers with extreme views cannot express those views at school, so why is gender ideology any different?

No way would I want my child to go to a school at such a young age with this non binary crap being spouted, and would change schools. Life is confusing enough at such a young age.

This