Non-binary teacher?

[Thompson198]

Name change.
I’ve got a 5 year old daughter due to go into year 2 in September. We’ve just been told that the teacher for next year is a non-binary/‘non-gender-conforming’ man who wants to be referred to by ‘Mx’ (pronounced mix) and they/them pronouns.
Quite a few of the parents have already complained and started looking for other places at local schools because of this.
what do you think?
My daughter has SEN and is one of the youngest in her class, I worry how she’s going to be able to keep up with the pronouns and understand this without us having to teach her about gender ideology at her age. My husband is extremely against teaching her gender ideology, especially so young, I’m not the most positive about it either but don’t feel as strongly as him. He also doesn’t want her being at the school in September but they have been very supportive for her so far and I’m concerned it might not be the same elsewhere.
Thoughts? How would you feel if this was your child’s teacher?

I don't believe in NB, it's just a fad. That said your daughter doesn't need to worry about pronouns, just call teacher by the title and name he has asked. If pronouns are absolutely necessary I think "they/them" covers everybody anyway. I have trans acquaintances and friends and never bother keeping up with pronouns (I am disabled and possibly approaching peri) and it's fine I just use their chosen name or they/them if I have to.

Life is too short to worry about keeping up with this kind of thing. In 20 years time I doubt anyone will care, and most trans persons aren't affected much by the wrong pronouns anymore than Muslims have an issue with Christians celebrating Christmas. Let's keep it all in perspective the majority of trans/NB are not rabid activists insisting they will be damaged if their pronouns aren't used.

Yes, but society doesn't think it's reasonable to prescribe fertility altering drugs or amputate healthy tissue from people who believe in santa, the Easter bunny, fairies or god.

Gender ideology is a potentially far more harmful belief system

I would not move a settled child. However you need to clarify that there should be no consequences for accidental mis gendering and no push of an ideology. We should not be teaching to disbelieve reality. Certainly it is easier to call teacher by first name of that is allowed.

This is a very valid point.

’Mx’ can also be used by women who want to avoid sex discrimination- its origins were in the 1970s feminist movement. ‘Mx’ can and should be used by both genders as otherwise everyone knows it’s a woman applying for that job / writing that paper etc.

The school should not be teaching illegal / inaccurate things, and the law has been made clearer that there are two biological sexes that are immutable. However, there are still people who do not identify with their sex and they should not be discriminated against. So the school should have a policy on how this can be discussed with children IF THEY ASK e.g is - “I was born a man but do not feel like a man or a woman” acceptable?

Mrs / Miss / Ms - refer to females
Mr - refers to males
Mx - refers to neither

As every person has a sex, either male or female, using Mx doesn’t make any sense.

As for using They for a single person whose sex is known…pronouns refer to sex, not gender.

Think about it. Cats, dogs, sheep, all have a sex and are referred to as either he or she depending on the sex of the animal. Only a fool would ever try to suggest an animal has a gender identity. So clearly the pronoun refers to the sex.

Mx ( pronounced how? - mucks??) is absurd. The teacher can wear a dress and call himself Susan if he likes, he’ll still be male. Mr Susan should be the way he is addressed. It’s good for kids to see that people don’t have to dress in a stereotypical way for their sex, it isn’t good for kids to be told that effeminate men aren’t male.

The school’s action of informing parents that the new male teacher should be referred to by non-male pronouns shows that they are putting his wishes above the well-being of the children in their care.

This

this largely non issue

What, the 'largely non-issue' that's recently the subject of a Supreme Court ruling, set the EHRC and government alight with activity, and launched a thousand grifts? That non-issue?

The school should not be teaching illegal / inaccurate things,

Illegal?! For goodness sake, get a grip. There's nothing illegal about being non-binary.

It’s really not complicated. Adults ascribe way too much difficulty to using pronouns etc. A relative recently came out as trans, we didn’t make a big thing of it with our children before they visited (7 & 10), we just referred to them by their new name. My oldest child later asked is X a boy now? I said yes. The end.
All these parents pulling their kids out of the school could end up with them being taught by awful teachers elsewhere… but hey, at least they’d get to call them miss or mr though, and that’s the most important thing right!?

What about the "judgement" being left until you discover they're teaching abilities?
Instead of assuming they are going to indoctrinate your dc into they're way of thinking.
Could be the best teacher your dc will ever have.

Um no. Gay people exist and can be measured. Black people exist and are people like any other. Non-binary is made up bollocks that needlessly confuses kids. Trying to make out that anyone who doesn't buy into gender ideology is a bigot simply will not wash any more.

I think you’re worrying over nothing. Children readily accept gender identity and just don’t see it as a big deal. You really don’t need to teach her anything other than some people see themselves as she, some as he and some as they etc etc. It’s the grown ups that generally have the issue, children just accept this as how things are if they learn it early - to me this is a blessing for your child to have the opportunity to learn this early. My child did too via a circumstance at her school and she’s grown into a very inclusive young lady (not scarred in any way through learning at an early age about gender identity). She and all the other children readily accepted the pronoun they were to use and used it without issue because to them - rightly so, no big deal. Try not to conflate what you personally might find difficult with what your child may found difficult - two different things.
Perhaps you could look at the flip side and welcome the school being supportive and respectful of individuals - you may find your daughter benefits herself as an individual one day from this ethos the school appears to have. And perhaps you could welcome the opportunity for your daughter to learn inclusion and diversity at a young age.
they could be the best teacher your daughter ever has — if you and others gave them a fair chance. For a start this teacher sounds extremely courageous to me to be clear on who they are and stand up and ask for it -
personally to me, that’s a great trait to be roll modelled to kids- particularly girls!

I don't think there is judgement from the OP.
Just concern.

Better for concerns to be raised and addressed now before the start of September to allow a smooth start for all then. Or if concerns cannot be alleviated by the school, give parents time to look into alternatives.

If they wait until September then discover children are getting repeatedly told off / corrected for using sex based pronouns the parents may find there are no alternative spaces in other schools for some time.

It is about being prepared.

Not a problem as long as it’s just a name, no child is punished etc for using correct pronouns ie him/he/referring to him in any way as male, GI isn’t taught in class and his NB status has absolutely no impact on teaching, just like any of the other teachers being straight/gay has no impact on their teaching.

If Mx Smith starts having palpitations when a ND 6 year old calls him “him” or Progress Pride flags start appearing in class then absolutely not acceptable.

The only thing primary age kids need to know about being gay/straight/GI is that some people have a mum & dad, some people have just a dad, some people have two mums etc. As trans people are about, I say to mine that some people like to be called something different and teach them to be polite with names etc but beyond that but that’s the extent of concessions I make. “Trans children” shouldn’t be disadvantaged due to their parents bad decisions.

Oh, and as soon as children can stop saying my DS looks like a girl when he puts his longish hair up, then we can talk about being NB/Pan/2 Spirit etc. Reductive nonsense.

I’d be finding a new school and would home school until then.
A man can be anything in terms of jobs, personality etc. but he can never be a woman or a non-man. I would not have my children taught anything different or to be forced to lie.

Mx ( pronounced how? - mucks??)

It's like the "Mick's" in "Mick's caff", apparently.

So if his surname is, say, Brown, the kids will hear "Mick's Brown" / "mix brown" when other teachers refer to him, or "Mick's Mith" or "Mick's Johnson" or whatever.

Genderism - the recently invented idea that sex does not exist, or is superseded by an internal sense of gender identity - is not equivalent to either sexual orientation, which is real, or race, also real, so stop saying it is.

Probably the nearest equivalence is intolerance of religion, but I notice that is never invoked, possibly because many religions reject the idea of transgender.

There is no legal recognition of 'non-binary' in UK law.

And there simply can't be because, at the end of the day, it's meaningless drivel with no basis in reality.

Please could the vitriol on this thread be redirected towards Miss/Mrs, and how utterly ridiculous it is for a woman to have to signal marriage status in 2025.

You’re not unreasonable for wanting to choose a school environment which is aligned with the home environment, although you’re the one who’s met the teacher, so use your judgment.

referred to by ‘Mx’ (pronounced mix) and they/them pronouns.

Literally referenced in the OP

Like others have said - its something that the teacher has as their name. Mx Smith, its not difficult. We used to say Mr Xxx or Miss Xxx

I don’t care about the title.
It is the pretence that he’s anything other than a man that is subject to my “vitriol”.

The name is absolutely straightforward to answer but pronouns not as much. I’m not saying don’t have the conversation but you have to definitely have honest, age appropriate answers thought about as kids are so inquisitive and can quickly ask questions you’ve never considered or that’s been my experience as a teacher and parent.

Absolutely, and in terms of they/them being used when someone is not present, I don't think people get to decide how other people refer to them when they are not there.

There are titles that don't indicate sex, doctor and professor immediately spring to mind. Doesn't seem to be an issue.