Non-binary teacher?

[Thompson198]

Name change.
I’ve got a 5 year old daughter due to go into year 2 in September. We’ve just been told that the teacher for next year is a non-binary/‘non-gender-conforming’ man who wants to be referred to by ‘Mx’ (pronounced mix) and they/them pronouns.
Quite a few of the parents have already complained and started looking for other places at local schools because of this.
what do you think?
My daughter has SEN and is one of the youngest in her class, I worry how she’s going to be able to keep up with the pronouns and understand this without us having to teach her about gender ideology at her age. My husband is extremely against teaching her gender ideology, especially so young, I’m not the most positive about it either but don’t feel as strongly as him. He also doesn’t want her being at the school in September but they have been very supportive for her so far and I’m concerned it might not be the same elsewhere.
Thoughts? How would you feel if this was your child’s teacher?

The move into year 2 should be child focused.

That the school, head, parents and children are already discussing the needs of the teacher, tells me all I need to know.

Question: In the light of the Forstater ruling, is a child permitted to have gender critical beliefs? And how might those beliefs manifest?

Asking on behalf of a class of 5-year olds...

Yes, I'd be very concerned about this and it'd be the main thrust of my discussion with the school. He wants they/them pronouns – what happens if (when) a child doesn't use them?

Also on the SEN issue, I agree with a pp that you need to bring up with the school that using correct-sex pronouns is a reasonable adjustment for a SEN child.

I don't have kids and am not involved with them professionally, so I've no knowledge of current guidelines and you must excuse my ignorance, but I'd imagine there are guidelines around this whole issue?

What happens if (when) a child asks why exactly 'Mx' Whatsisname is a they/them? Whatever he says, I can only imagine that the idea that he's neither a man nor a woman will come up. And that's obviously incorrect and unscientific.

Every child in a religious school of any kind has an ideology, that I regard as a fairy story, pushed on them to varying degrees every day. We have the Easter bunny, Father Christmas, the tooth fairy. Someone on a photo adapting page on Facebook the other day was asking if someone could superimpose a realistic fairy on a photo of a dummy because her child was giving up their final dummy to 'the dummy fairy' and she wanted 'proof' the fairy had collected it . A friend of mine( male) went on a date with a woman. He dropped her off at her house and she invited him in. There was a saucer of fruit in the porch. " Oh thats for the fairies" Said with absolute seriousness . People believe/ share all kinds of bollocks. Non binary is just another type and involves an awful lot if bollocks , both real and imagined.

There are posters here who would clearly not have their own childs or any childrens safety or best interests at heart because they’re too busy drinking the kool
aid 🙄

Decades ago we would have had this hysteria around gay teachers - “they’ll make my child gay”. We now of course know that is nonsense and see that a teacher’s sexuality is irrelevant to their ability to teach.

Children get taught by teachers with different faiths but this is normally kept to themselves.

Some people identify as non-binary, whether or not you agree with this. Saying ‘mix’ instead of ‘mister’ isn’t a huge deal and it doesn’t mean your child will be “converted” to an ideology.

One poster raised the issue about how this might gender critical ideology might slip into teaching. More broadly a teacher of that age group should be using age appropriate ideas and language so if you have serious concerns it would be worth raising these with the school before the teacher starts. You might for example ask that children are not corrected if they make an accidental slip in pronouns or say ‘sir’ by mistake, as this could lead to anxiety for them.

There is a Mx history teacher at my son's secondary school. They are very good and the students use Mx if they use their full name.

However... this Mx is also a petite little woman, and the students also frequently call her 'Miss'. This unconscious sexing is done without thought or malice, because it is just so obvious that she is female and they are so used to saying Sir for men and Miss for women.

They use the name she wishes when they have time to think about it. But when they're in a hurry they just use Miss. I haven't heard that she complains about it and I hope she's not offended.

But this is the thing, the kids may well call this primary teacher Mx. Young kids usually do want to please their teachers. But inside they will KNOW he is male, and no matter how polite they want to be, they will 'misgender' him on occasion. The school needs to work with him to understand this isn't done to hurt, but because it reflects reality.

How do you pronounce "Mx" ? Mix?

When and who invented "Mx" by the way?

I think as parents, your daughter's needs must be the greater priority here. Your views on the teacher's presentation and preferred pronouns must come second.
As long as my child was not being reprimanded or ignored for forgetting to say "they", I can't see a huge problem.Gentle reminders, that the teacher prefers this, seems OK.
At home you can, if asked, confirm he's a man, but just likes to be known as "they".
I'd be keeping a close eye on any other related issues cropping up though.
I'd be very reluctant to remove my ND child from a school where she was settled, and that was meeting her needs well.
Do they only have 1 year 2 class?

Absolutely this.

Besides, “good teacher” would have good grasp of basic biology.

I'm on your dhs side. Small children don't need exposing to that tripe. I'd move schools and be very clear why. And also put in a complaint as they/them is going to be confusing to children who don't even understand what pronouns and plurals are yet.

God I miss the days when you didn't bring your whole self to work.

It’s in the OP!

It's not that a teacher who wants to be they/them will make pupils (want to be) they/them. It's just inaccurate to say you're neither male nor female. It wasn't and isn't inaccurate to say you're a man who loves other men or woman who loves other women. And no one ever needed addressing by a different title because of their sexuality.

My goodness I’m so glad that I didn’t have all this gender woo woo when my girls were at school!

Best comment of the thread…

Yet another reminder that had mumsnet been around in the 80s these posts would be about gay teachers. The moral outage would be about teaching children that being gay is normal when everyone knows being hetero is the only reality. And a good dose of AIDS stigma for good measure.

In the 50s and 60s it would have been about Black or South Asian teachers and their ‘culture’ polluting the pure minds of good English children.

Don’t fool yourselves that you are any different to your obsessively bigoted forebears or that you will be judged any differently despite your certainty of moral correctness.

Luckily for us all, children tend to far more open minded and accepting of society making room for people who are different to the ‘norm’.

Calling a teacher Mix will make zero difference to them in the immediate term. Having their heads filled with the hate so proudly displayed on here will be far more detrimental to their long term wellbeing.

I don't really understand the fuss - at the children's age they are still learning words, they don't know about Miss vs Mrs vs Ms vs Mx. If they get asked to call this teacher Mx Smith or whatever, they just will? They won't question it in the same way they wouldn't question why another teacher is called Mrs or Miss.

I doubt the teacher will be giving them gender lessons.

Yet another reminder that this is a false equivalence.
HTH

Mx / Mix ? Is this just made up , or an actually recognised title?

The school, and this teacher, should not be bringing this on very young children - what he does outside of school is his own business, why does he feel the need to bring this into the teaching of 5 year olds?

When did the sleight of hand take place that ‘preferred pronouns’ have become ‘correct pronouns’ (when of course, they usually aren’t at all)?

The issue is it’s unavoidable that some form of gender identity will appear in the classroom. OP knows this as it’s already been highlighted that the teacher is non-binary. Kids at that age are impressionable, more so children with SEN, and I’d worry what believes they will pick up.

The one thing I wish I’d learnt as a child was that sex has no baring on your personality, likes and preferences. I felt desperately confused and wanted to be a boy as I didn’t like typical ‘girl’ things. I’d want a teacher to be showing my children there’s no ‘right’ way to be a girl or boy. However a teacher who has declared non-binary doesn’t believe that - he believes that as he doesn’t fit what he thinks a man should look like, he’s something other. All that does is reinforce those stereotypes.

I agree talking with the head first about how this will work for your DD is the right course of action and get some general assurance that he won’t be teaching gender ideology materials and won’t punish children for using correct pronouns is the best place to start. I’m not entirely sure what I would do in your situation with children that young though.

I think Up would be a good surname for Him

People keep drawing false equivalence with gay teachers.
But there is no reason to discuss sexuality at school, so no reason for a young child to know or care whether their teacher is gay or not.

Whereas with non binary as soon as you say Mx or request non sex based pronouns you have opened the subject.

If it's just one form (so no alternative class), then I'd be moving schools.

Mx 'Mix' I do not have a problem with - but if they want to be referred to as they/them - huge problem. Grammatically problematic to a child that is just grasping English and it force a conversation about gender identity that is too complex at five years old.

The fact they believe they don't belong to either gender would be enough for me to know they are NOT a good teacher.