Do you have a favourite child?

[outlanderish]

Settling a debate with DP. He's convinced you can have a favourite child. What's your verdict?

4 children and I definitely have a favourite.
I love and treat them all equally as you should but I’m with your dp, people just don’t want to admit it but it’s natural to have a favourite.

No, they are very different people and I love both of them with every ounce of my being.

I grew up in a family where there was a favourite child (it was not me !) and it has affected me all my life.

Yes, but it’s she’s not mine.

No, not a favourite. I love them all equally and hugely with an unconditional heart however they each pee me off at different times and therefore I do, at said times, prefer the company of the ones who haven’t peed me off! No favourites though.

I notice many are quick to say I love all my children equally! But that's not the question here. I'm sure you can like one child more over others despite loving them all... Whether that's because they piss you off less than the others or because you have some sort of shared interest or similar personality.

I'm definitely my dad's favourite because we're alike!

I would define favourite as showing favouritism to, treating more favourably (and therefore by definition treating your other children unfairly). Is that what your Dad does? If so I'd say your siblings will be very hurt by his behaviour, if you simply mean you and your dad get on well and have a lot in common, then that is dfferent from favouritism.

I have 2 children. One of them I find easier to talk to and spend time with. Does this mean they're my favourite? Probably!

I tell my only son he is my favourite son and my only daughter she is my favourite daughter.

I think it’s very easy to like one child more than another at any given time. Right now, I get on much better with DD1 (16) than DD2 (13), because my relationship with DD2 is very tricky. (They’re both adopted whilst full birth siblings.)

But previously it was the other way around and DD1 thought DD2 was the favourite.

In reality, I love them both the same and always will, despite the different challenges they both provide.

👌🏻

6 kids no favourite.

i read a thing saying how damaging it was for kids that felt like their sibling was the favourite. I was worried so got each one on their own and casually asked who they thought the favourite child was….

They all said me! Which I thought was ace. Maybe I’m doing something right 😆

You can have a fave child for a particular minute, hour, part of a day. Usually the one that's irritating you least at that particular moment.

Anything more permanent than that in terms of fave hierarchy? No. The non-faves will always, always know, no matter how much you declare that you love them all equally.

I do. Now they are older teens I have one who is easier to chat to, has the same sense of humour as me, is relaxing to hang with. I adore the others but they are less easy to be with. They astound me regularly with many good things, including things so different from what I’d do that I can’t help but acknowledge we are hugely different beings, and that’s a great an interesting thing but not always easy.

when they were younger I didn’t have a fav, or my favourite changed phase by phase but as near adults surely it’s normal to start to have an understanding that you have a type of person you are drawn to as a friend and if one child is most like that it’s surely natural to feel more at ease with them.

I have two kids, I don't have a favourite but there is one I try extra hard not to wake up in the morning 🤣

The dog or one of the rabbits. The dog can be a twat though so it’s usually both of the rabbits.

I don't have a favourite, genuinely.

However, I once overheard my three then teenage sons having a bit of an argument over which of them was my favourite child. The funny and really sweet thing was each one of them was absolutely convinced that he was my favourite.

So I guess I must have done something right.

He’s talking (toxic) rubbish. My parents didn’t have a favourite and I don’t have a favourite with mine. I couldn’t have children with someone who thought like that. He’s already showing he would be a terrible father. .

I don't think I have a favourite. I like and admire all my DC. Geography and life changes mean that I see some more than others and sometimes that means we're 'closer' but not that I necessarily like them more. I think I was my father's favourite, although he shared some stuff more with my brother - not sure how that affected my siblings who were neither parent's favourite.

This blows my mind. I’m one of 3 and I have 3 children. Do people seriously have a favourite child?
All of my children have different qualities and they also all really annoy me in different ways.
I could not pick a favourite in a million years

When they were teenagers my favourite was which ever one was being the least vile to me

The baby is very jolly and cute and has no way of expressing her opinions or making particular demands so she's my favourite because she's easy and seems to like me. My 6yo is challenging, opinionated, complex, dramatic, artistic, wild, obstreperous, picky, curious, stubborn, hard to please and completely unmanageable. I'm sort of in awe of her. I'm so often not up to the challenge but I'm wowed by her every day.

So it's swings and roundabouts isn't it?

I tell mine they used to be my favorite but they're not anymore when they're bugging me.

I thought I would before I had them. I couldn't imagine not having a favourite and nearly stopped at one for that reason.

But now I have two I could never pick one over the other, they are both my favourite.

I honestly could never pick a favourite. My parents were of the, "It's only natural to have a favourite" frame of mind and my mum was pretty open with her ranking. I was never in the top half.

And no, I'm not close to my parents now. 😅

Definitely no favourite. My kids are very different from each other, one has been a lot more challenging in terms of behaviour than the other, but definitely no favourite.

I grew up thinking my sister was the favourite, and it’s only in recent years talking to her that I’ve discovered she thought I was the favourite.