Should a 5 year old be allowed out alone?

[bigyellowtaxi]

Am a regular but have namechanged...

Have I been unreasonable? Something happened this morning that I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable about - and I'm not sure what to do next.
My DD was at a party this morning, and after, as we were driving away I saw one of her classmates (a boy, age 5) walking away from the party, he was probably 200 metres away from the party venue when I saw him. My first thought was that he had wondered away somehow without waiting for a parent to collect him, also he is new to the area so that increased my concern.
I stopped the car and got out to ask him if he was OK (he knows who I am), he said that he was, and that his mum had said it was OK for him to walk home alone. I asked him where he lived and he pointed to a nearby block of flats. So I watched him go in though the main front door, left and went home.

After I came home I was speaking to a friend, and she was horrified and thinks I should tell social work, if not them then the school, and if not the school then speak to the mum about it directly.

So my questions are:
Was I unreasonable to stop and speak to the boy - should I have maybe kept out of it? - I wasnt the first parent who had gone past him on the way home. Or was I unreasonable to have let him go from me? I half considered walking with him back to his front door.

Also what should I do now? My instinct is to do nothing. I think that it is unusual to let a 5 year old out in that way ( I have never seen any children that young out on there own before), but maybe not so unusual I should do anything about it. I think Social work would be a total overreaction, I'm not sure what it has to do with the school, and I cant see anything good coming out of a chat to the mother.

What would you have done? and what would you do now?

I personally wouldnt let my ds do that after all 5 is still very young

I noticed a pair of 7yo girls out on their own walking their dog yesterday (I didn't have a problem with it). They were about 5 minutes from home... This is pretty typical in our area.

I would have to hate somebody's guts to ring SS about their child (or believe the child was in immediate grave danger). If you want to f*ck with someone's head, getting the government on their case is a good way to do it (speaking from experience ).

Why would a 7yo need to be playing out alone? DS (8) has started sometimes playing with neighbour child (7) recently, about 200 yards away from both boys' homes. I have 3 other children and loads to do for them at home, or I would be out supervising. But my gut feeling is that as long as the boys are out together, it just shouldn't be necessary for an adult to watch their every move.

a 7 yo shouldnt play out alone as they might fall over?

Of course a 7yr old boy needs to be without his Mum! Your DCs seem virtual prisoners MABS. In 5 yrs time your daughter will be an adult-she will be able to buy a plane ticket to Peru and spend 3months on her own with a friend exploring (I mention that because a son of a friend of mine is doing it now aged 18-she is very apprehensive and longing for him to come home!)You will not be able to stop her. You build up gradually, she should be able to go into the local town with a friend on a Saturday by now!

just as i was posting that ds2(4.10) came in with yet another graze on his knee!

Have been wondering about this one. My dd is 7, her friend, also 7 has been knocking on our door lately asking dd to 'play out' with her. She lives a 5 min walk away, no roads to cross, the estate we live on has lots of safe pathways and green areas. This girl often has her dog with her. My dd of course is nagging me to let her go. Part of me thinks of course I should, she is 7, she won't go far, part of me bit worried (after all she is my PFB!) on balance tho I think I will, when she next gets the chance.
5 though I personally think is too young.

I would say that 5 is too young but by 7 you have to gradually start to give some independence and freedom. The saddest part of 'Child of Our Time'in the week was the 8yr old who said she couldn't go to her local shop on her own because "there is noone to guard me"!! From what? A DC ought to feel confident to go down the road without feeling that someone is going to snatch her. They have to learn to deal with risk.The risk is very, very low.

I live in a city centre (ish) and letting my 5 and 6 year old off on their own is an absolute NO. Build up gradually means walking to school in a few years, if they went to a state school, making sure when we go to a park they stick to boundaries. I was a very street wise young girl, but there's no way I was off on my own at 7 unless I was with older cousins of up to 13.
Besides where I live there was a documaentary filmed of paedophiles in the local park and our local high street and so my children will be much older before I leave them to theri own devices.

I'd've stopped to ask, too.If the venue is visible from the flat and no roads to cross, it seems reasonable enough.

Well, my 7 year old has just rung me from the pub where he is watching the football to tell me that he has won a chicken and some pork chops in the raffle!

Oh, did I mention that his dad and his aunt are there too?

I assure you my children are not virtual prisoners,and to whoever asked, yes we do have a 150ft plus garden.

I'm intrigued where you all want them to go without me? we live in a village, no station, no buses etc. How exactly are they going to get there if i don't drive them?

I have said already that stranger danger doesn't particularly bother me, however our nearest town is Brighton,not the safest place on earth. Tho i do drive dd there and let her meet friends to shop. But no, i don't think Brighton is ideal for a 7yr old alone.

As far as her running off to Peru for a gap year Abbey, I would prefer she went elsewhere. She has already been to Peru, very boring for 6 months I would I imagine. I think she will prob go to Thailand or Malaysia for her gap which i will totally support, but will worry too as any parent would.

I only mentioned Peru because a friend's son is there. I would be very scared of letting an 18 year old go to Thailand when she hadn't gradually got used to going places on her own. I watched 'Child of Our Time' and agreed with one of the main points being made -that children need to be on their own to play without adult supervision. Constant adult supervision is unhealthy. If you live in a village they should be perfectly safe to wander around and call for friends on their own.

must be a pain, a village like that. I chuck mine out front and they can chase around with the other kids if they are all out and about.

But then again, calling what is out back behind our house a garden would be pushing it.

How long is the walk to school Mabs?

Or a cycle ride?

I'm thinking sustainable transport here.

Hope you don't park outside the school gates, btw.

I don't know how anyone could call Peru boring! The boy in question had been with the school and wanted to go back and explore more on his own and go further afield.

my 5 yr old an dmy 3 yr old are currently riding their bikes up and down the culdesac with all the neighbours children of various ages.

i wish people would stop making their children virtual prisoners. theyll be tagging them next

they are now sitting at the end of the drive making dandelion perfume. bashing it with stones and putting in a jar. should i stand over them? chiildren need to do these things without adults

I see this has developed in to a
we do things differently
no need for everyone to get their knickers in a twist and get all personal

calm down - i know its a bit windy and can make folk all tizzy.

I think op did what I would have done, but I would have left it at that. Not a great distance from party to house and it might have been his idea and the parents were trying to give him some responsibility. At our school lots of year 4's and 5's walk home from school on their own.

I said for 6 months I thought it would be boring actually, think 2 would be plenty there Abbey. For the record, dd has flown to many places long haul alone and met us there, hardly a prisoner i would say

Barly - the school is a 20/25 minute drive! to walk would be about 2 hrs cross country i guess. Yes I park in the school car park, only other place would be a field!

sorry I see it boy was age 5 not year 5
still the same answer

You are lucky you can park in the school car park, most schools don't allow this and you have to park a long way from the school entrance.

school bus? What happened to the school bus?

It is an independent school Snora,set in 15oacres, so that's the only place we are allowed to park.

The school bus only operates from yr 10 up Pointydog, that's why i said she may use in the future. However, it is extremely expensive and as I am driving ds there anyway, it seems rather pointles i would say.

No money in school buses.

The govt are telling schools they have to develop travel plans to encourage sustainable transport, but how they're supposed to persuade parents like Mab to use sustainable transport methods when they won't fund them or proper public transport, particularly in rural areas, is beyond me.