Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 11 12 13 14 15 16

Original poster

Should a 5 year old be allowed out alone?

376 replies

bigyellowtaxi · 25/05/2008 12:37

Am a regular but have namechanged...

Have I been unreasonable? Something happened this morning that I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable about - and I'm not sure what to do next.
My DD was at a party this morning, and after, as we were driving away I saw one of her classmates (a boy, age 5) walking away from the party, he was probably 200 metres away from the party venue when I saw him. My first thought was that he had wondered away somehow without waiting for a parent to collect him, also he is new to the area so that increased my concern.
I stopped the car and got out to ask him if he was OK (he knows who I am), he said that he was, and that his mum had said it was OK for him to walk home alone. I asked him where he lived and he pointed to a nearby block of flats. So I watched him go in though the main front door, left and went home.

After I came home I was speaking to a friend, and she was horrified and thinks I should tell social work, if not them then the school, and if not the school then speak to the mum about it directly.

So my questions are:
Was I unreasonable to stop and speak to the boy - should I have maybe kept out of it? - I wasnt the first parent who had gone past him on the way home. Or was I unreasonable to have let him go from me? I half considered walking with him back to his front door.

Also what should I do now? My instinct is to do nothing. I think that it is unusual to let a 5 year old out in that way ( I have never seen any children that young out on there own before), but maybe not so unusual I should do anything about it. I think Social work would be a total overreaction, I'm not sure what it has to do with the school, and I cant see anything good coming out of a chat to the mother.

What would you have done? and what would you do now?

OP posts:

MABS · 29/05/2008 14:18

Seeker - BECAUSE I SEE NO NEED AT ALL FOR A 7 YEAR OLD TO BE UNSUPERVISED. I WOULD NEVER ALLOW A 7 YR OLD IN MY CARE TO BE OUT ALONE.

That clear enough? and several others have said the same for 5/6/7 yr old on this and other threads.

seeker · 29/05/2008 14:21

I understand that - but WHY NOT????????????????

KristinaM · 29/05/2008 14:27

prettybird - my niece goes to a school in the same education authority as your child and their P7 go on a similar trip every year. the centres are run by a company called Kingswood. i don't know which one they go to but i coudl find out if you like

MABS · 29/05/2008 14:33

because i see no need, not you clearly, but me.

There is always, sadly, risk of stranger danger,tho v v slight I agree,a risk of bullying by older kids,a risk of an accident or a risk with one car,not even heavy traffic needed. But they are not a risks that I would be prepared for a 7 yr old to take unless they had to.

seeker · 29/05/2008 14:40

So at what age do you think it's OK to be out alone? Would you, for example, let you dd cycle to the station, as mine does, along cycle paths (NO traffic at all) at the age of 12? It takes about 10 minutes.

getbackinyouryurtjimjams · 29/05/2008 14:50

12 is totally different from 7. At 12 I expect that ds2 and ds3 will be getting themselves to school. meeting friends in town or whatever it is boys do etc, but I still won't let them out alone where we live now aged 7- because of the traffic in the main.

I don't have any problem at all with kids walking across Dartmoor. Wouldn't occur to me to unless they were being really badly trained (and I have come across teams of kids on 10 Tors training in thick fog totally unable to follow a bearing- that is a bit scary - but I think things have changed)10 Tors was one of the most useful things I ever did but 14 (the youngest age for Ten Tors) is double the age of a 7 year old.

Like MABS I don't think that not letting your 7 year old play outside next to traffic means that they will reach 18 completely unable to do something.

MABS · 29/05/2008 14:54

agree with Jimjams,12 is v different from 7 imo. Would let dd cycle to station if she had the slightest inclination, but can't say she does at the mo.

seeker · 29/05/2008 15:08

Mine doesn't have a choice - unless I'm feeling particularly kind, it's pouring with rain or I'm going her way anyway! and in the evening she generally prefers to make her own way home because she doesn't have to fit in with her little brother - who ISN"T allowed to get the train by himself yet!

prettybird · 29/05/2008 15:44

KristinaM - that would be useful. The Scool Board no longer exists, but I am also on the Parent Council (and dh is currently the Chair). The probelm iirc is also that the school also has to do its own risk assessment - which apparently it doesn't need to do for Blairvaddoch.

prettybird · 29/05/2008 15:47

Seeker - you are not the only one who does think it is OK for 5/6/7 year olds - depending on local circumstances of course!

MABS · 29/05/2008 15:49

Prettybird - Kingwood are a very good company,very established so yr school prob wouldn't have to do a full RA. They are AALA licensed which is the leading body for outdoor activity providers in uk (and no,i didn't work for them!)so the Lea should accept that,didn't say would tho

prettybird · 29/05/2008 16:16

MABS - I'll ask the school again - but I seem to recall (it was two years ago now) that part of the problem was that no matter how respected, or even how much it was used by other local schools, our Education deparmtnet still expects a full Risk Assessment

MABS · 29/05/2008 16:26

prob won't be any help then Prettybird

beaniesteve · 29/05/2008 16:31

am responding to the first post: Telling social services would be way out of order if you ask me.

MABS · 29/05/2008 19:44

totally agree Beaniesteve

jen47 · 16/05/2009 21:16

As far as Im aware that is illegal. My son has just turned 5 and there is no way I would allow him to walk anywhere by himself even if it were close by. I dont think I would taken a boy of fives word that he was on his way home - I would have escorted him to his front door just to make sure and maybe that would of been enough to make my point to the mother.

tattifer · 16/05/2009 21:26

Blairvaddoch.

Crikey, I went there about thirty years ago! If it's the same kind of place I would hope they have their own risk assessment and public liability etc in place.

tattifer · 16/05/2009 21:30

So at what age do you think it's OK to be out alone?

12 cycling to and from school yes, younger than that no. My girls are 9 and eleven - they walk to school together, not alone. One of their classmates has been walking a much longer route since she was seven. I reported my concerns to the school at the time and nothing was done.

TheCrackFox · 16/05/2009 21:36

This thread is a year old.

MrsMcCluskey · 16/05/2009 21:36

WHy are we opening threas that are a year old?

2shoes · 16/05/2009 21:37

wow is mn that dead tha pople open year old threads

Yurtgirl · 16/05/2009 21:43

Jen47 made a mistake me thinks!

tattifer · 16/05/2009 21:45

Aw, don't spoil it, I'm reliving my days at a certain outward bound activity centre in scotland... hot sweet black tea and jam sandwiches on top of a snowy peak...

Kimi · 16/05/2009 21:50

5 is way to young to go home alone

katiestar · 16/05/2009 23:17

Wonder if MABS's now 14 yr old is allowed out alone yet ?

Flip

1 2 ··· 11 12 13 14 15 16