Should a 5 year old be allowed out alone?

[bigyellowtaxi]

Am a regular but have namechanged...

Have I been unreasonable? Something happened this morning that I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable about - and I'm not sure what to do next.
My DD was at a party this morning, and after, as we were driving away I saw one of her classmates (a boy, age 5) walking away from the party, he was probably 200 metres away from the party venue when I saw him. My first thought was that he had wondered away somehow without waiting for a parent to collect him, also he is new to the area so that increased my concern.
I stopped the car and got out to ask him if he was OK (he knows who I am), he said that he was, and that his mum had said it was OK for him to walk home alone. I asked him where he lived and he pointed to a nearby block of flats. So I watched him go in though the main front door, left and went home.

After I came home I was speaking to a friend, and she was horrified and thinks I should tell social work, if not them then the school, and if not the school then speak to the mum about it directly.

So my questions are:
Was I unreasonable to stop and speak to the boy - should I have maybe kept out of it? - I wasnt the first parent who had gone past him on the way home. Or was I unreasonable to have let him go from me? I half considered walking with him back to his front door.

Also what should I do now? My instinct is to do nothing. I think that it is unusual to let a 5 year old out in that way ( I have never seen any children that young out on there own before), but maybe not so unusual I should do anything about it. I think Social work would be a total overreaction, I'm not sure what it has to do with the school, and I cant see anything good coming out of a chat to the mother.

What would you have done? and what would you do now?

"we have to agree to differ on our perception of risk"

But nobody will tell me what the risk is!!!!!!!!

I'm not remotely a worrier. Usually on a mnet scale I am seen as dangerously so.But being a non-worrier doesn't mean I'll let my 6 year old to play on a main road.

Seeker people have repeatedly told you. Traffic. But you're choosing to ignore that. If we lived in a quiet village cul-de-sac (as my friend does) then no doubt ds2 would play outside (as her kids do- although one was the subject of an attempted abduction actually - so it does happen- and yes he does still play outside)

Mabs made it clear in her earlier posts that her children don't play alone outside because that's not really necessary in the set up they have.

No-one is shrieking fear of paedophiles or suggesting that those in different circumstances should be dragging their children inside.

I'm not sure why there's so much projection going on.

Sorry jimjams - I was only trying to use your statement as an example without meaning to make it personal (if you see hwat I mean - not sure I do, even though I know what I meant to mean! ).

it wasn't meant to imply that you are wrong in your particular cicumstances - it was meant more to ask the more general question about why that radius has constrcited so much in recent years.

Message withdrawn

...and you could get rid of pavements/kerbs and have everything wheelchair accessible

I'd ban all visitors to legoland/alton towers for a day so ds1 could go

prettybird- but I think the answer is traffic. That's my greatest fear & is probably the biggest change since our childhood. In part conditioned because of ds1 (if he got out I think it would be a miracle if he survived half an hour around here without being knocked over).

The places I've seen children playing out tend to be cul-de-sacs or quiet roads, or away from the road. But many children can't get to those places without crossing busy roads.

cod- no- no-one is suggesting children be kept inside. The only people being asked to justify their decisions are those who have a particular set of circumadtance that means their 7 years old don't play out alone/

Message withdrawn

It's not as simple as just traffic jimjams. I can just about understadn that - although I think more effort can and should be done by some parents to "teach" traffic skills, so that you don't have spike in RTAs involving kids going to secondary school and suddenyl being allowed out on their own with no sense of traffic awareness.

But people have, on this thread, raised the fear of abductions, of paedohiles, of being photgoraphed, of falling and hurting themsleves, of crying and needing to comforted and in some cases just becasue they are young all as explanations as to why all their young children should not be anywhere other than their garden unsupervised.

When we first moved to our current house, the girl downstairs was 9. She wasn't allowed to go beyond the "block" - ie beyound about 200 yards, even thoguh the area we live in has wide open roads and is relatively quiet. he certainly wasn't allowed to go tohe local shops (5-10 minute walk away). The fear couldn't have been about traffic - what was it?

gosh it would take my DC longer to walk to the end of the garden than it would to the post box, do i not let them out?

For the last time. MABS, among others said that no 7 year old should never be out without a grown up. She was not talking about her 7 year old or her circumstances - she was talking about all 7 year olds. She said she couldn't see a problem with my 7 year old going to the letter box so long as there was no traffic (I agree) AND SO LONG AS I COULD SEE HIM. I use her as an example simply because she was the most detailed poster on the subject - but many agreed with her. This is what baffles me - the need to watch children at all times even if they are not at risk from cars.

Thanks Custy, I find this all rather amusing and entertaining actually m'dear

Sorry you are baffled Seeker, clearly many other aren't.

Off to take my poor deprived kids out to dinner at Wagamama now, and yeah i'll even sit with them and pay you know. Poor poor kids.........

MABs, poor kids indeed I hate Wagamamas!!!

Actually, I've just re-read MABS initial comment and although I realise from later postings that there were particualr circumanstacnns/reasons for her 13 yer old dd's apparent lack of independece, I notice than in her first post she says she doesn't allow her dd to go anywehre much on her own, even though she is 13.

Totally agree Posie, not my fave ,but the kids love it i'm afraid

Seeker - you're not the only one who is baffled!

so what. why do you all seem so hung up on what mabs does. ok she is clever ang glamourous but surely that is her decision.
I just cannot understand why people keep jumping on her posts.
yet when I posted about a child roaming the streets I am given excuses at to why it might have been(yet no one on here knows his mum) very odd thread really.

MABS DON"T GO!!!!!!! Please explain it to me - I really really don't understand! I know I'm being stupid - but I don't!

Oh, and can I have chicken ramen with some edamame on the side, please?

I "had" to take ds to Pizza Hut last friday (a treat while his daddy was away for 3 nights and I had had to work that day even though ds was off school). The power of advertising unfortunately.

And we have fantastic genuine Italian pizzarias locally which would have been much nicer - but not waht ds wanted.

MABS, how long are the chains on your dds freedom, does she get to peer through a window to see other children?! Good for you for still being on the thread!!

Now could you make sure you have a nice bottle of something for when you get home.

Prettybird,if you read further you will see i don't allow 13 yr old dd to much due to the fact that she can't without me driving her there! WE HAVE NO F*CKIN TRANSPORT HERE APART FROM ME AND MY CAR!!! If i allowed her to do everything she wanted, i would be even more of a taxi than i already am, and i have to take into account ds with sn.

2shoes, v sweet of you, but somehow don't see myself as clever,tho i do aspire to the glamorous bit!