Unpleasant altercation - who was the most unreasonable?

[zerofeeling]

Took my dogs out today and was trying to park in a small space between two cars on a country lane. As I was inching back to fit into the space I heard a loud crunch 😖

The two men from the car behind had just set off on their walk, as I got out of my car one of them was heading back towards me shouting why did I try to park in such a small space. I said sorry and inspected the front of his car - couldn't see any damage at all, and apart from a tiny paint scuff nothing on my car. I said to him 'i can't see any damage, it doesn't look like I hit you'
Man just glanced over at his car then asked me for my details, I asked is that necessary and said again there's no damage. He said that's not the point you have to give your details if you've been in a collision. He was much taller than me and sort of fronting up to me repeating that he wanted my details and me refusing, saying I don't think it was a collision, I think I might have hit something underneath my car. (For info my Mum and a friend have both been scammed on their insurance by people who claimed all kinds of things after very minor prangs)

Then he took an ID wallet out of his pocket and flipped it open to show a photo and badge and said he's Police. I couldn't tell if it was genuine or not. He held his phone up and said he's filming me refusing to comply with the law.
By this time the other man had come back and also filming me and I started to worry - I'm in a secluded area, with two men who are much bigger than me. I told them I felt intimidated and are they trying to scam me?

I got in my car and tried to shut the door but 1st man held onto it to prevent me. I asked if he's trying to detain me and he said no but I will if you don't give me your details, I've identified myself to you as a police officer. I said you've got no right to detain me. Eventually he let go of the door and I had to turn the car round as the lane is a dead end. Once I turned round he said again that I'm breaking the law by refusing to give my details after a collision and he started to recite the Caution they give when you're arrested! I drove away very shaken up, no idea what consequences to expect.

Why would she contact the police at a later stage and not immediately?. She is accusing him of a very serious crime. Whether that is impersonating a police officer or misusing his powers as a genuine police officee.

This.

Some of the comments on this thread are laughable - OP is about to be arrested for resisting arrest?! It’s the confidence with which people state things that are so clearly wrong that gets me.

OP - your insurance policy will say you need to notify them of any accidents “as soon as possible”. Do that this evening.

Also call 101 and report exactly what you have said here.

This will come to nothing.

How could he be scamming you when you most likely hit his car and you were the one reversing into a tiny space?! He was also walking away….

You should have got pictures of his badge/ID and his car.

A phone call to your local police station or non emergency phone number will clear up the issue.

You should definitely report this as if they are real police they shouldn’t be acting this way towards you and if they aren’t they need to be investigated.

The sexes of the people is highly relevant to the situation though. I imagine op wouldn't have left had it been a another woman on her own

but had a chance to post on mumsnet?

Yeh - relevant in that some people are automatically assuming that the men are in the wrong here... because they're men. I'd pick up my phone to film someone too if they seemed to crash into my car, refused to leave details, then tried to drive away. It's not relevant whether I am male or female in that respect.

Haha well said.

Horrible situation, but something similar happened to me once. A young lad absolutely lost it at me because I'd bumped his car when parking. I drove off because I was intimidated, went to the police station to report the idiot and yet I was the one told off for hit and run because I didn't leave my details!

As I was inching back to fit into the space I heard a loud crunch 😖
............ inspected the front of his car - couldn't see any damage at all, and apart from a tiny paint scuff nothing on my car. I said to him 'i can't see any damage, it doesn't look like I hit you'

So what did you hit? Why on earth didnt you just share details?

My partner has the car 🙄

Let us know when the police turn and arrest you for leaving the scene of an accident please!!

How ridiculous not to exchange details.

Has he not checked it?

You should have given your details. I would want to have my car checked by a professional before assuming no damage. Really obnoxious not to and I understand their reaction.

The space was too small but fair enough to try.

You heard a loud crunch it almost certainly was hitting the car and the man had a right to want your details.

Stating no damage and hesitating with details made you look like you were trying to avoid passing them on.

I cant see a single thing the man did wrong.

Whether or not she was in the wrong about the incident, I’d still report;if they were real coppers they were potentially using threatening and intimidating behaviour, if they weren’t, then the police need to know that’s there’s a couple of blokes impersonating police. Report it to your insurance in case, detail why you didn’t report immediately.

You need to report the accident to your insurance.

i get that they were intimidating but in not giving your details you are in the wrong.

@surreygirl1987 "People who are siding with the OP... try to remaine the scenario with the sexes reversed - it may help you view the situation more clearly."

Two big men and one lone woman is completely relevant. How have you managed to miss the whole fucking point!

@Divebar2021 "There’s no reason to believe that this was a fake police badge (that he just happened to have on his person). As much as you want. It to be suspicious it’s not."

Yeah, tell that to Sarah Everard. It could easily have been fake and even if it wasn't, it isn't exactly unknown for police officers to be dodgy as fuck. You've got more faith than I have Divebar.

FWIW I think that in your shoes I would have locked myself in my car & phoned the police to report the incident. Also I would have requested to photograph the ID card.

I doubt if anything will come of this, if he is a genuine policeman it can only cause him lots of grief and paperwork justifying his behaviour, and if he is impersonating an officer it's a criminal offence.

Phone the police now… tell them exactly what happened, that you were very frightened and intimidated by the two men and didn’t feel you wanted to give them your details. Also tell them how they tried to detain you… that way if they are police you’ve reported the incident and if not, the police can keep an eye out for them.

She was intimidated because they were taller and it was a secluded area. Understandable but not anything that can be reported surely.

Eta I missed the detain part, that is a bit ott.

You are legally required to provide your particulars after a Road Traffic Collision to anybody who reasonably requires them.

That can include a witness to the incident even if they are not the owner or driver of a vehicle involved.

Something similar happened to me when I was much younger. Someone went into the back of me at a roundabout and got out as though they were going to exchange details and then just drove off. So I carried onto work where people told me I should still report it as it was technically a collision (and probably the person drove off as they had no insurance) so after work I reported up it to my local station and afterwards I was waiting smugly to be thanked for doing the right thing - but instead I got read a warning for having driven off and apparently braking too hard to have likely caused the collision in the first place! I walked out there dazed and bewildered and to this don't fully understand what happened! 😅

I dont like the way they intimidated you..but yes, you should have given your details and taken photos of the cars yourself. I have done this before. If there is damage that is only noticed upon driving or back home for example.

Police officers are not allowed to use their official role in a personal situation. I am sorry you were intimidated. Please do check your car though.

You think it was a scam yet you hit his car or something else? I'm sorry but do you think he stood there waiting all day for somebody to come along and bump into his car... That's a pretty redundant scam.

He didn't threaten you he just took pictures and videos of you refusing to give details. He didn't stop you from leaving either.

I think most people on here would be told to do the same if somebody hit their car then caused a big scene and drove off lol

I imagine the police will be in touch