Unpleasant altercation - who was the most unreasonable?

[zerofeeling]

Took my dogs out today and was trying to park in a small space between two cars on a country lane. As I was inching back to fit into the space I heard a loud crunch 😖

The two men from the car behind had just set off on their walk, as I got out of my car one of them was heading back towards me shouting why did I try to park in such a small space. I said sorry and inspected the front of his car - couldn't see any damage at all, and apart from a tiny paint scuff nothing on my car. I said to him 'i can't see any damage, it doesn't look like I hit you'
Man just glanced over at his car then asked me for my details, I asked is that necessary and said again there's no damage. He said that's not the point you have to give your details if you've been in a collision. He was much taller than me and sort of fronting up to me repeating that he wanted my details and me refusing, saying I don't think it was a collision, I think I might have hit something underneath my car. (For info my Mum and a friend have both been scammed on their insurance by people who claimed all kinds of things after very minor prangs)

Then he took an ID wallet out of his pocket and flipped it open to show a photo and badge and said he's Police. I couldn't tell if it was genuine or not. He held his phone up and said he's filming me refusing to comply with the law.
By this time the other man had come back and also filming me and I started to worry - I'm in a secluded area, with two men who are much bigger than me. I told them I felt intimidated and are they trying to scam me?

I got in my car and tried to shut the door but 1st man held onto it to prevent me. I asked if he's trying to detain me and he said no but I will if you don't give me your details, I've identified myself to you as a police officer. I said you've got no right to detain me. Eventually he let go of the door and I had to turn the car round as the lane is a dead end. Once I turned round he said again that I'm breaking the law by refusing to give my details after a collision and he started to recite the Caution they give when you're arrested! I drove away very shaken up, no idea what consequences to expect.

The "loud crunch" was likely both your bumpers crumpling in and then flipping back into shape. They may both need replacing as the damage will be inside.
You should have apologised, exchanged insurance details & moved on with your day.

The 101 call handler gave incorrect advice. You don’t need to report any collision IF you exchanged details. Which you did not. If you didn’t exchange details then you’re legally obliged to report it regardless of whether there’s any damage.

not to the police she doesnt need to report, simply to her insurance surely?

If he is a police officer, he should know better than to behave like that after what happened to Sarah Everard. If there was no damage on the car he also had no reason to demand your details. Really fucking creepy and out of order

It's not up to.him to decide there was no damage. If someone crashed into me I would wantnit checked out by a garage to determine that. For which I would very much want the other drivers details in case of a later claim.

She did hit their car!

I did behave appropriately - I stopped and got out of my car immediately I heard the noise. I apologised to the man who was shouting. I looked at both vehicles for signs of damage and encouraged him to check as well. He repeatedly insisted that damage wasn't the issue and I was required by law to give my details in the event of a collision, even if there's no damage.

How would that scam work? Park your car in a secluded spot with little traffic, walk away and hope that someone crashes into it? How many weeks or months do you wait for that to happen? And then, how do you profit from that? You can't claim damages for personal injury, you're not in the car. A scam doesn't make sense in these circumstances.

Was that the only place to park? You at least bumped his car. You should have exchanged information. However, if he is a police officer he can find out who you are easily enough.

If they were police they would have detained you forcefully if need be not let you get away. Sounds like a scam to me

No to the police. Because the other party should be able to ring the police and explain what’s happened and then be given the details of the OP via the police (maybe just car reg rather than name and address, I’m not sure). So he can give those details to his insurance.

he can’t ring the OPs insurance company up can he as he doesn’t know who her insurance company is.

And he is correct!!! Because you don’t know there’s no damage🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈

you haven’t behaved appropriately at all. You come across like a sly scammer trying to wriggle out of it.

Sorry, but gender doesn't change the fact if you have any sort of collision you let the insurance argue it out. You can't use being a lone woman as an excuse for poor behaviour

My Mum reversed into a parked car, the owner came out of her house and they exchanged details - the owner later lied that she'd been sitting in the car at the time and now suffered whiplash. As there weren't any witnesses it was her word against my mum's and she was so forceful that my mum's insurance company decided it would be easier to pay out and wack up my mum's premium.

What I’m struggling with is that if you heard a crunch, then you must have made contact, and if you immediately stopped moving you would have still been in contact or very
very close. Just how small was the space?

You should have provided your details. You heard a crunch and could see damage on your car so your claim you didn't hit them seems more like wishful thinking.

I'm not surprised they filmed you refusing to give your details but think the attempt to detain you was poor (though technically legal if he was a police officer).

So overall I think you were the most unreasonable.

@zerofeeling this is literally why you take photos and alert the insurance company on the spot, or as soon as you can, including the detail of how many people were in the car.

Have you alerted your insurance company yet, OP?

So because of that one incident you’re never going to do what you’re legally obliged to do? Just in case a totally unrelated person to that woman also decides to falsely claim whiplash? Wow, you’re a real prize aren’t you. Maybe one day someone will smash into your parked car and drive off without being honest and you’ll see how it feels.

I haven't once argued against op telling her insurance. I am saying her response of leaving the scene was entirely appropriate in these circumstances

I’ve not read the full thread but for what it’s worth OP, I don’t know why everyone is having a go at you, I think you did the right thing and had a lucky escape. Firstly, you got out of your car and checked for damage, there wasn’t any visible damage on either car so there’s no ‘collision’ you need to report. It was a bump and scrunch, cars are robust, so even if you heard something it doesn’t automatically = damage.

Secondly you’re right to doubt he was police (how are you sure it was even his car? Sounds like a chancer) and if he was, he’ll have had the wherewithal to get your reg no. and pursue you via the proper legal process. Good that you’ve reported your concerns on that matter, and I would hold firm that you felt intimidated and unconvinced he was legitimate if anything comes of it. Ultimately you didn’t do anything so why would he start cautioning you!? The whole interaction sounds intimidating and aggressive on his part.

Crunch = damage. And he was right in saying you should report it, it's the law: https://www.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/rs/road-safety/collisions/

No, crunch could mean driving over a drinks can thrown in the gutter, driving over a tree branch, driving over a bottle, driving over a cardboard box. All sorts of things.

Some people are obsessively precious about their cars to the point where even the thought that there might be damage sends them into a rage.

A crunching noise could easily be a bottle or something on the road getting crushed, they can make a noise like the crack of doom.

this is nonsense. If this happened then you got home and passed the car to your partner then after such distress you’d 1) take a look 2) tell your partner.

This. As if the OP is telling the full story.

You were not unreasonable. I’d be more concerned if you had submitted to his demands given the circumstances you’ve described. You must be feeling pretty rattled. X