Unpleasant altercation - who was the most unreasonable?

[zerofeeling]

Took my dogs out today and was trying to park in a small space between two cars on a country lane. As I was inching back to fit into the space I heard a loud crunch 😖

The two men from the car behind had just set off on their walk, as I got out of my car one of them was heading back towards me shouting why did I try to park in such a small space. I said sorry and inspected the front of his car - couldn't see any damage at all, and apart from a tiny paint scuff nothing on my car. I said to him 'i can't see any damage, it doesn't look like I hit you'
Man just glanced over at his car then asked me for my details, I asked is that necessary and said again there's no damage. He said that's not the point you have to give your details if you've been in a collision. He was much taller than me and sort of fronting up to me repeating that he wanted my details and me refusing, saying I don't think it was a collision, I think I might have hit something underneath my car. (For info my Mum and a friend have both been scammed on their insurance by people who claimed all kinds of things after very minor prangs)

Then he took an ID wallet out of his pocket and flipped it open to show a photo and badge and said he's Police. I couldn't tell if it was genuine or not. He held his phone up and said he's filming me refusing to comply with the law.
By this time the other man had come back and also filming me and I started to worry - I'm in a secluded area, with two men who are much bigger than me. I told them I felt intimidated and are they trying to scam me?

I got in my car and tried to shut the door but 1st man held onto it to prevent me. I asked if he's trying to detain me and he said no but I will if you don't give me your details, I've identified myself to you as a police officer. I said you've got no right to detain me. Eventually he let go of the door and I had to turn the car round as the lane is a dead end. Once I turned round he said again that I'm breaking the law by refusing to give my details after a collision and he started to recite the Caution they give when you're arrested! I drove away very shaken up, no idea what consequences to expect.

Sometimes damage isn’t always visible. If the front bumper had been pushed, there could be damage underneath. I would also have demanded details.

This!

She’s not there now though, so why hasn’t she reported it?

So what have the police/insurance company said since you been home and reported it to them?

I'd have filmed it if someone had hit my car, tried to deny it, refused to give details and tried to drive off to flee the scene! Ffs some people on here are mental.

Just rang 101 - got thru to the first line of reporting, the call handler advised that I didn't need to report the collision (if one happened) to them, only to our insurers but that the man's behaviour might constitute a public order offence. She put me thru to another line but I was on hold for quite a while so I might do an online report. Really appreciate people's advice 😘

God @zerofeeling that has made me feel a bit sick and I think driving off was an understandable reaction. I don't understand why you are getting so much shit here when there have been so many reports recently of police officers being violent and disgusting. I'd ring the none emergency number and report this because he shouldn't be going about intimidating women. You can deal with the car stuff after that.

How can it be a scam when you heard the sound when you hit him?

Let’s reverse this for a moment. Imagine someone hit your car to the extent you heard a crunch. You also see there is paint on your car off their car, yet the person who hit it refuses to give you their insurance details.
You’d be rightly annoyed, surely?

You should have swapped details and taken photos of the ‘damage’ as evidence.

Sorry, u are in the wrong. Give your details when you hit a car. Leaving & refusing is not a good look to insurance.

You escalated the situation,

Put yourself in their situation, regardless of height. & gender!
A car hit yours & u hear a crunch. You get details for Car insurance! If there’s no damage, u still have details. What if you drive away and see body damage u hadn’t noticed??

Online report, add a "what3words" as to where it happened, description of the two blokes and description of their car would be helpful. Is you DH up for a drive to where it happened with you, in case there's something that would explain the crunch noise (like a broken kitchen tile under tyre, or similar).

You are in the wrong to leave but fully understand the feeling of intimidation.

I had a similar situation when I was stationary in queuing traffic.You should have given your details (name and insurance company).

IMO there's only one scammer in this story and it's you. I'd be furious if i was the other party.

Trying to claim you didn't bump into him soley because your expert eye couldn't see any damage is ultimate CF behaviour.

Not similar at all as if there was traffic presumably there were other people around, you weren't a lone woman with two men acting aggressively

You did the right thing in frightening circumstances. Those men could have been anyone, and you really wouldn't want them knowing your details

I'd contact the police to report the whole incident.

Of course they are. However, only an officer in uniform can arrest somebody for a traffic offence, which sounds like he was trying to do, reciting the caution. Did he start with ‘I am arresting you for….’?

I must admit I would have done the same as the op. I can feel the fear of being in an isolated location with two men squaring up to me.

You are right to report their behaviour op.

If you had been apologetic, and cooperated - it would not have escalated to you calling 101.

I don;t think you sound unreasonable at all! 'As if someone would start shouting for no reason'...well yes, some people do.

Sounds very intimidating and I would have reacted the same as you. Surely the other driver would check for damage and take photos of said damage, also easily have jotted down OP's number plate along with a photo of the cars together instead of shoving a phone in her face.

Plus if he was police he knows how it works instead of getting aggressive.

I would definitely report @zerofeeling. Even if he is really police (doubtful), he can't go about behaving like that. Normal people would have a conversation and both check their vehicles to ensure there was actually a collision.

There wasn't any paint from my car on his or vice versa

I don;t think you sound unreasonable at all! 'As if someone would start shouting for no reason'...well yes, some people do.

Sounds very intimidating and I would have reacted the same as you. Surely the other driver would check for damage and take photos of said damage, also easily have jotted down OP's number plate along with a photo of the cars together instead of shoving a phone in her face.

Plus if he was police he knows how it works instead of getting aggressive.

I would definitely report @zerofeeling. Even if he is really police (doubtful), he can't go about behaving like that. Normal people would have a conversation and both check their vehicles to ensure there was actually a collision.

Are you going to report this online then? I know you said you didn’t want to hang on when they put you through to report these men.

@zerofeeling yeah, it’s common knowledge that you didn’t need to call the police to report the collision - it would have been for him to do that if you were successful at driving off after you’d hit him. You report the collision to your own insurance company, it’s basic knowledge/common sense.

What I don't understand is if a woman came on here saying a partner started shouting and filming them it would be abusive, but apparently it's fine for random strangers to do it because they 'think' their car might have been damaged without even checking. No way would I give some angry stranger my details.

www.met.police.uk/foi-ai/metropolitan-police/disclosure-2023/april-2023/guidance-alone-policemen-encountering-alone-women/

Yes that's exactly what I was expecting - I braced myself for him to be upset especially as he was already shouting but I couldn't understand why he wasn't interested in looking at his car for damage and why he didn't calm down when he could see I was behaving properly for the situation.