Child left in car in 35 degree heat

[Empress13]

Please tell me as I’m struggling to understand How the hell you could forget you have left a child in a car in such extreme heat. Unbelievable ! that poor child

After having twins I took one to nursery and didn’t realise the other one was in his car seat sitting on the top step of my home. 15 or so minutes away. Didn’t realise till I got to nursery as the home alone twin always sat behind the drivers seat.
Rushed back and he was asleep on the top step.

My dh was left in his pram outside Woolworths and his mum had arrived home before she realised and that must have been a good hour round trip.

Sadly these things happen and I have enormous sympathy for the parents on this and all occasions when nothing malicious was intended.

I momentarily forgot that I had a baby. He was a few week old and I was sitting on the bus with him in the pram space in front of me. I was on the same bus that I'd taken daily since the age of about 12 and I zoned-out watching a group of Italian school students board the bus and climb upstairs. I thought to myself "oh how lovely - what an adventure for them". Then I remember hearing this sound in the background and thinking "aww.. that sounds like a new baby" and then realising that it was my baby and I sprang to attention. Imagine if he didn't cry - would I have got off the bus at my usual stop without him? Its interesting how routine and autopilot can make you dissociate from your surroundings.

My DB was folded up (somehow) in the stroller & put into the boot. Thankfully DP's realised before they drove off. It was a long time ago & still comes up! They each thought the other had DB & were flustered as in an unfamiliar place.

People sometimes forget when there's a change in routine, or tired, or unwell etc. I used to put my hand bag in the back seat so I had to access the back seat to leave the car.

Intelligent people, as you claim to be, are capable of nuance and opening their minds to new information. So here's the article everyone's talking about:

Fatal Distraction Forgetting a Child in the Backseat of a Car Is a Horrifying Mistake. Is It a Crime - Studocu

Any one who thinks it couldn't happen to them is delusioned.

DH made it to the works carpark with one of ours. Like everyone else it was change of routine, I normally did drop-off, can't remember what I was doing, ill or dentist or something but DH clocked LO before he left the car.

It does make you wonder how often does it happen but the kids are OK, uncomfortable but OK. We only ever hear about the tragic cases that make the international news. But that must be the tip of the iceberg there must be loads more who get left and are remembered before tragedy strikes.

One thing the UK does do is have nurseries make contact if a child doesn't turn up maybe that should happen everywhere.

I've also laughed at an ex-neighbour doing a 3 point turn outside their old house, having moved a few weeks earlier. Obviously driven 'home' on autopilot.

I also know a 'new mum' who left the baby outside the butchers, baby is 50+ and survived.

People definitely go into autopilot doing the same thing every day.

The number of posts suggesting that this is an easy to make mistake is disturbing. It isn’t if you give the most basic iota of care for your children

This is the reason this will sadly keep happening. Posters like this.

Humans are arrogant. Some people lack the intelligence and emotional maturity to understand the psychology behind such mistakes. They will instead loudly proclaim it could never happen to them, they're just too caring/attentive/clever or whatever...and their children are even more at risk than most because of their massive blind spot.

Nobody thinks it's acceptable, for goodness sake. It's heartbreaking and horrible.

What PP are saying is that people don't do it on purpose or because they don't care about their children.

It does happen whether you want to believe it or not OP. As others have said, often when there’s a change to normal routine.

Re the car door slamming and waking the child - well that might have happened, but clearly the parent was walking away at this point so wouldn’t have heard the poor child cry. I know a dad in the US went to jail for murdering his child as they claimed he did it deliberately as he was having an affair, but I can’t believe any normal parent would leave a child to die in such a manner.

Other posters have already covered most of this ignorant post, but just to add - only someone with very limited knowledge of the world would believe "it's nearly always hot" in Spain. Spain is a large country with an extremely varied climate. I know Valls (where this sad incident happened) well. It has four distinct seasons - and yes, there are heat waves.

I don't believe he forgot. I think it's more likely he was scrimping on childcare and left the child in the car.

I don't believe any of these were cases where anyone forgot the child was there. When you lock the car the back seats are visible. Even the tiniest child will be visible. The mistake was thinking they would get away with it, not forgetting the child was there.

Seriously, you think people wanted to kill their children? Everyone knows the dangers of hot cars.

It's very easy to get out of a car and lock it with the remote while walking away, without ever looking at the back seat.

I don't condone it - obviously - but I can see how it could possibly happen, for reasons outlined on this thread. (I haven't read the Washington Post article as I heeded the warnings about it being distressing and I'm not in need of that just now...)

I can see how it can happen. I've made the reverse mistake multiple times. I usually dropped dc off, but sometimes when I didn't and they were at home with dh, I found myself pulling in to the day care car park before I realised my mistake.

Ugh, the sense of superiority of some people on this thread 😥

It's terrifying to think that basically it could happen to any of us because we are humans and how our brains work.

All you who think nope, couldn't possibly happen to me... seriously, read the article in the 4th or so post.

Totally get the momentary forgetting you have a baby thing. Even for up to an hour I guess in extreme cases but 7 or 8 hours like happens in US? No.
I would really like to see statistical breakdown of how often this happens in other countries because it’s nearly always the US.

I can’t find it now but there was an article in the Guardian about how easily this can happen with examples from Australia. Absolutely terrifying! Made me glad I don’t drive.Seemed to be a combination of sleep deprivation and a deviation from the normal routine.

People need to put phone/wallet by the baby.

It must just be your preferred writing style which makes it seem as though you learned your emotional reactions from soaps, then.

Except they aren't visible through tinted windows. Or if you shut the door and walk past the front of the car. Or a colleague greets you and distracts you. Etc.
There are dozens of these cases annually in the US alone. Do you really believe it is more likely that dozens of people are actively choosing to leave their children in cars to save a few $/€/£ rather than these are tragic incidents where are a tired out of routine parent's brain misses a crucial step because they don't normally do it? Or have you had a total empathy bypass?
Every one of these cases gets investigated. If there is ever evidence that the parents are leaving children in a car as routine (see the story referenced about the man who was gaming), they do get charged for it.

It’s not a choice, much less an active choice. Brain goes in autopilot and you do what you do every single day , except on a truly awful day you also have a baby /toddler asleep in the car with you.

That'll be because the US has a) a very large population, and b) an overwhelming culture of driving everywhere.

Same ... never even left my dog in the car in hot weather alone.

We were talking about this at work yesterday (we’re teachers so all fairly responsible adults). A couple of the mums had managed to drive most of the way to work with kids in the car at least once - like others have said a change in routine was behind it in most cases, one was stressed because OFSTED was in and forgot to drop her son off (he was 6 and kept totally quiet thinking it was hilarious) - she remembered about five minutes later. Another managed to drive past nursery and forgot about drop off because her son was usually dropped off by her husband, but something had changed in their routine that morning and she needed to do it - but she just went on autopilot.

In my old school I remember one mum (who is super responsible - key role in safeguarding etc) being very flustered because she got to work, looked around and realised her baby was in the back seat, she’d somehow totally forgotten about drop off.

Anyone who thinks it can’t happen to them is super naive.

This Wikipedia page gives a good overview for anyone who's uncomfortable reading the WaPo piece: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forgotten_baby_syndrome

I'm baffled by the (minority) of people who find this so impossible to understand. Do most kids not fall asleep in the car, so if you're on a long journey it's probably been silent for at least the last 15 or so minutes, and also as PP said rear facing seats. But also who actually checks the back-seat anyway? You only do this when your young child is in the car otherwise you turn your engine off and walk away. No one will be punishing themselves more than the parent involved.

I left my baby in the car once. Not in any heat, and not for long, but it is easily done!