Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Child left in car in 35 degree heat

363 replies

Empress13 · 01/07/2025 21:54

Please tell me as I’m struggling to understand How the hell you could forget you have left a child in a car in such extreme heat. Unbelievable ! that poor child

OP posts:
montelbano · 02/07/2025 01:24

MrsSkylerWhite · 02/07/2025 01:01

Infallible?

leaving your toddler in an hot car now counts as fallible and ok?
OK.

Christ almighty.

Humans are fallible. We get tired. We get exhausted. We get distracted. We make mistakes. We miscommunicate. We get upset. We misjudge. We do all sorts of stupid things because we are fallible.

MrsSkylerWhite · 02/07/2025 01:25

Empathy too, in spades. Mostly for children.

There is no excuse in modern times, when the overwhelming majority of people have access to online parenting information, not to know that leaving children unattended in cars is bad practice.

MrsSkylerWhite · 02/07/2025 01:28

montelbano · 02/07/2025 01:24

Humans are fallible. We get tired. We get exhausted. We get distracted. We make mistakes. We miscommunicate. We get upset. We misjudge. We do all sorts of stupid things because we are fallible.

We don’t leave our children locked in cars in external temperatures of 35+ degrees (upwards of 50 in the car).

is that not - for crying out loud - just plain bloody obvious.

Jesus!

Cadburymonster · 02/07/2025 01:31

It's not an easy mistake at all I'm sorry but I could never forget my child was in the back of the car.

PinkCandles · 02/07/2025 01:32

MrsSkylerWhite · 02/07/2025 01:19

I’m extremely intelligent by most recognised measures.

I don't believe you because you are completely missing the point by making comments like "Most reasonably educated people (and quite a lot of stupid people) realise that you don’t do that to a dog."
The people this happened to know very well you shouldn't leave a child or dog in a hot car FFS. Read the article and engage your brain instead of saying you don't need to read it and completely missing the point.

XelaM · 02/07/2025 01:32

Empress13 · 01/07/2025 22:34

According to the news article the father had driven him to his work on an industrial estate at 9am and a colleague noticed him in the car 6 hours later! Firstly why was he taking him to work with him and how the hell could you forget surely the child would have made some noise in the car ? I’m sorry but I cannot believe you could just forget a child in the car. Think there’s possibly more to this story though there’s been no arrest as yet

This literally happened to my dad when my brother was a baby (although thankfully with a different outcome!).

My dad was meant to drop him off at nursery before work but he drove straight to work on auto-pilot (because he usually drove straight to work and my mum did the nursery drop off). My brother was fast asleep in his car seat in the back and my dad didn't realise he was there at all until he arrived at work (over 1 hour from nursery) and by absolutely chance looked in the back to see my brother there (still asleep). It could have so easily been him the story was about 🥺

MrsSkylerWhite · 02/07/2025 01:35

Leaving a child in an hot car is unacceptable. End of.

If you think the above statement is in any way incorrect, you need to sort yourself out,

montelbano · 02/07/2025 01:35

MrsSkylerWhite · 02/07/2025 01:28

We don’t leave our children locked in cars in external temperatures of 35+ degrees (upwards of 50 in the car).

is that not - for crying out loud - just plain bloody obvious.

Jesus!

There is a huge difference between 'just nipping into the shop, friends, vets, etc., for a few minutes' i.e. a deliberate act which is horrendously stupid, and being distracted or worried

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 02/07/2025 01:38

MrsSkylerWhite · 02/07/2025 01:25

Empathy too, in spades. Mostly for children.

There is no excuse in modern times, when the overwhelming majority of people have access to online parenting information, not to know that leaving children unattended in cars is bad practice.

Jesus fucking christ. No one is doing it on purpose! No one thinks it's 'good practice'!

It is possible (not likely, not acceptable, not excusable, but POSSIBLE) for anyone to do it by accident. It is incredibly important that people realise that ANYONE could have a set of circumstances that means they do it.

Because if they understand that, then they put actual measures in place so they DON'T do it!

I'm sure every single one of the parents who have done this thought, just like you, that they would never, ever, make a mistake like that. Until they did. Can you really not see that that's what everyone is saying?!

XelaM · 02/07/2025 01:39

MrsSkylerWhite · 02/07/2025 01:35

Leaving a child in an hot car is unacceptable. End of.

If you think the above statement is in any way incorrect, you need to sort yourself out,

People don't do it on purpose!!!

NeedZzzzzssss · 02/07/2025 01:40

MrsSkylerWhite · 02/07/2025 01:25

Empathy too, in spades. Mostly for children.

There is no excuse in modern times, when the overwhelming majority of people have access to online parenting information, not to know that leaving children unattended in cars is bad practice.

OK well you win the internet for the dumbest comment today. I think people know leaving their kids in the car is bad practice, do you think they purposely wanted to kill their child?

Momtotwokids · 02/07/2025 01:54

This was from 2009 but yes it happens here. People have a change in their routine and forget. Definitely should be charged with murder but it don't think most are

jandalsinsummer · 02/07/2025 02:11

Sadly this happens, another case here I’m guessing not having a ‘normal’ morning makes this more of a risk? The Mother in this case didn’t normally drop her son to nursery.

https://www.stuff.co.nz/national/65250225/baby-death-boy-left-in-car-at-whanganui-hospital

there are cars and baby seats and so on with alarms to try and prevent it.
Also lots of tales on here (from ‘the good old days’ of new Mums leaving their baby in a pram at the shops etc.

RafaistheKingofClay · 02/07/2025 02:24

MrsSkylerWhite · 02/07/2025 01:25

Empathy too, in spades. Mostly for children.

There is no excuse in modern times, when the overwhelming majority of people have access to online parenting information, not to know that leaving children unattended in cars is bad practice.

If you think it’s about not knowing that you don’t leave children in a hot car you’ve missed the point by a country mile.

It isn’t about knowing or not it’s about how the human brain works and the different types of memory interact with each other.

HerRoyalNotness · 02/07/2025 02:25

Just read where I live in Texas there has been one today. A 9yo! So bloody awful. Have to admit I’m paranoid about it and when Dd was a baby I put a note in the dash. One of our new cars beeps when you turn it off and flashes a warning to check the back seat.

HerRoyalNotness · 02/07/2025 02:27

And for those that say they wouldn’t do it. It wouldn’t happen to them.. I was driving to work one morning, got onto the interstate and a little voice peeped “aren’t we going to school today?”

Fernanie · 02/07/2025 02:29

This happened to a family I know in the States. Their 4th child, about 8 months old. The whole family was in the car on the way back from a roadtrip. The baby fell asleep in the back. Each parent thought the other had brought the baby in while they were dealing with the other children / general "back from holiday" chaos and believed she was asleep in her cot upstairs. One parent commented to the other something like "it's so great she transfers so well from the car to the cot", referring to their belief that the other parent had put her in the cot. The other parent interpreted that to mean that that parent had done the transfer themselves, and agreed. By the time they realised (less than an hour IIRC, but in Texas summer heat), it was too late. Absolutely devastating.

saltandvinegarchipsticks · 02/07/2025 02:31

MrsSkylerWhite · 02/07/2025 01:19

I’m extremely intelligent by most recognised measures.

Read the article, then.

if you’re intelligent, then you’ll understand. But you need to actually read it.

saltandvinegarchipsticks · 02/07/2025 02:35

Cadburymonster · 02/07/2025 01:31

It's not an easy mistake at all I'm sorry but I could never forget my child was in the back of the car.

I expect all of the parents who’ve done this would have said exactly the same.

Read the article linked above, it clearly explains how it can happen.

ShoutyButterfly · 02/07/2025 02:36

Interesting that people are talking about how they wouldn’t leave a dog in a hot car.

I’m involved in dog showing as well as agility and hoopers, and there’s a common joke about accidentally leaving the dog at home and travelling to a show without them.

Like a lot of jokes, there’s some truth to it. I’ve stewarded at a breed show where someone’s informed me that they’ve accidentally left Fido at home, and I know several people who have set off and got partway there before realising they’ve let Rex out for an emergency wee just before setting off and forgot to put him back in the car.

Of course it’s nothing like children left in cars but it’s the same process. None of these dog people intended to miss the classes that they’d paid a lot of money to enter, none of them felt like it would be a good use of their free time to drive for hours at stupid o’clock to an agricultural field in the middle of nowhere and then immediately go home.

If you’re going to a dog show, the dog is the most important thing. How could you forget it? Why would you be so careless? Don’t you care? And yet it happens.

I’ve had several vets tell me that it happens sometimes when people book consecutive appointments for multiple pets, say for boosters. Owner gets the first pet ready, pops them in the car, and their brain ticks the “pet ready” box and they drive off without the second. Usually they only take one pet at once. Negligent? Nope. Just out of routine.

ShoutyButterfly · 02/07/2025 02:49

Can anyone here honestly say they haven’t made this kind of “change of routine” mistake? I strongly expect we all have. We haven’t necessarily left a child in the car, but we’ve forgotten something important because things have changed and our automatic brain hasn’t updated.

My own is about my keys. My partner works from home and I don’t work at all, so I’m usually at home too. As a result, if I do go out I’m either with him and he has his keys, or he’s at home to let me in so I’m not in the habit of taking my keys out. However he does go out every Friday night, and I often have a hoopers class that night which my friend gives me a lift to. So one of two things often happens - I forget to take my key and I’m locked out on my return, or I do take it but have no memory of putting it in my bag so we arrive and I panic that I’m locked out until I remember I actually have it. On one occasion I sat on my doorstep with my little dog until my partner turned up to let me in, and it turned out I had my key all along, I just had no memory of picking it up so I never even thought to open my bag to look for it. I was absolutely convinced it was on the hall table because I definitely hadn’t picked it up because I very rarely have it with me - but I totally had.

NeedZzzzzssss · 02/07/2025 03:03

ShoutyButterfly · 02/07/2025 02:49

Can anyone here honestly say they haven’t made this kind of “change of routine” mistake? I strongly expect we all have. We haven’t necessarily left a child in the car, but we’ve forgotten something important because things have changed and our automatic brain hasn’t updated.

My own is about my keys. My partner works from home and I don’t work at all, so I’m usually at home too. As a result, if I do go out I’m either with him and he has his keys, or he’s at home to let me in so I’m not in the habit of taking my keys out. However he does go out every Friday night, and I often have a hoopers class that night which my friend gives me a lift to. So one of two things often happens - I forget to take my key and I’m locked out on my return, or I do take it but have no memory of putting it in my bag so we arrive and I panic that I’m locked out until I remember I actually have it. On one occasion I sat on my doorstep with my little dog until my partner turned up to let me in, and it turned out I had my key all along, I just had no memory of picking it up so I never even thought to open my bag to look for it. I was absolutely convinced it was on the hall table because I definitely hadn’t picked it up because I very rarely have it with me - but I totally had.

It's like when you drive home on auto pilot, suddenly you're home and you have no idea how you got there. This is why I have sympathy for these cases as I can totally understand how this could happen. Especially after knowing how exhausted you can be when you have a young baby, it's tiredness coupled with mundane routine.

musicalfrog · 02/07/2025 03:26

Modern cars also don't let you leave any windows open or the alarm goes off.

So a left behind child would not be heard crying by anyone passing.

I hate that I can't leave my windows open to air the car on a hot day. But I can't override it.

HarlanPepper · 02/07/2025 03:29

Empress13 · 01/07/2025 22:43

Nah not buying it. I wouldn’t forget my dog let alone a child. Him slamming the car door would have woken the child if he’d been asleep surely ?

"not buying it"? Then what's your own explanation - that the man left his son in there to die on purpose? That seems more likely to you?

NeedZzzzzssss · 02/07/2025 03:41

musicalfrog · 02/07/2025 03:26

Modern cars also don't let you leave any windows open or the alarm goes off.

So a left behind child would not be heard crying by anyone passing.

I hate that I can't leave my windows open to air the car on a hot day. But I can't override it.

This is a good point about modern cars, which also have made being on auto pilot even worse. Also usually you walk away using the alarm, not like before when you physically used to push the lock down or turn the key. The more things get automated, the less we actively engage our brains.