AIBU we leave on holiday tomorrow morning and …

[Sundaybananas]

We leave on holiday tomorrow morning, and I’m the only one packed. DH and two older teens have done nothing. They barely seem to have registered that we are going tomorrow.

AIBU to just leave them to it, and if that means they have nothing but what they are standing up in then maybe they will learn for next time?

(so as not to drip feed, it’s a U.K. self catering holiday but we have to leave at 8am tomorrow, and the location is remote. There will be a small supermarket but no clothes shops.)

I have to say your dh sounds like a complete PITA does is he usually this helpless and why is he blaming you for everything?

Anyway, fingers crossed you’re almost ready for off now so have a great holiday!

Spring clean house ready to return. Ok yes
Clean fridge and cupboards, fridge yes.
Pet delivery. No deal with same as every month
book shopping. No.
salon visit for hair. Run on regular service
Salon visit for wax, pedicure and manicure. No
Wash and iron everything. No
Security lights etc. security system in place all year
house checks???
water plants. Daily anyway.
buy new clothes if needed. Do whenever we need
match with jewellery eugh?
cosmetics bought if needed would happen regardless
trips, activities and restaurants booked. No
last calls to family. Is this a holiday or a last trip???
book food shopping for return. No
Double check schedule and hotels. No
passsport check and paperwork. No as it just lives in the safe / phone
car refuelled, washed and cleaned and ready. Yes
Meals planned for travelling days. No, take away
snacks and water for journey. Yes
washing completed. Do washing everyday anyway.

Your holiday list sounds like you need a holiday to recover from getting ready to holiday

Most of us will recognise the default that mum is responsible for packing. There comes a point with older teens where you have to stop and let them stand on their own feet. Of course make sure they have passports and other things, but when it comes to clothes, toothbrushes etc. It has to be on them. Give them a warning then do… well absolutely nothing.

Not being organised generally.

I can pack my stuff in 15 minutes. I know where all my clothes are kept, what toiletries we have in the house and where they are, where my travel bags will be, where the power packs and spare charge cables live etc.

I have a friend I went away with a couple of times who couldn’t pack quickly because she was constantly leaving stuff in random places. One time we were flying and I stayed at her house the night before. She had left her packing to morning we were leaving and at that point realise half of what she wanted to take wasn’t even clean, she’d run out of deodorant and she couldn’t remember where she last had her one phone charger plugged in. The taxi arrived and she was flapping about if her suitcase weighed too much and whether or not she put a particular pair of sandals in. I basically said I was getting in it and going and, as long as she had her passport, so should she because missing the flight would be a lot more expensive than excess luggage or buying new sandals. It was super stressful just to watch.

No I come back rested, relaxed to a sparkling house and very organised life. Food in the fridge, ready to pick up my life again looking and feeling great 😎

My 9 year old is going on a residential and started packing 3 weeks ago and did a pretty good job. Only needed to really add in an extra pair of socks and some bug spray. There is no reason why young adults and her husband need her to stand over them and nag. They’re perfectly capable they just can’t be arsed so why should she have to spend her time sorting them out. Her husband in particular has been particularly useless.

Lol - I'm not stupid, I fully understand the theory. I have a list (multiple in fact depending on the type of trip) on an excel spreadsheet. It's just the practice I'm terrible at. I have no idea why as in most other areas of my life I'm efficient and detest faffing. It's a blind spot. I think it's the decision making - specifically which tops/dresses/shorts etc do I take? I don't even own that many clothes, especially not summer holiday ones.

However this thread has inspired me to improve and pack for my upcoming short European trip in minimal time.

Hope you are almost on the road OP!!

I think packing for a UK holiday is worse than abroad because the weather is so unpredictable.

Whatever about your teenagers, your husband would make me lose my mind.
Gaming while you’re cleaning the fridge and emptying the bins? Sorry, no.

Then denying that he knew/you informed him of schedule. Weaponised incompetence.

Why did you let your DH gaslight you, OP? You say you’ll show him the texts later but why does he think it’s ok to pretend it’s all news to him? One to think about.

Looking promising
this too sends me up the wall.
DH always packs about 11.30pm the night before and always has a grumbly moment when he realised he forgot to pack xyz. Had tears when ds forgot a phone charger once

the hard work I.e packing the shared stuff, self catering stuff, bins, clearing out the fridge etc never gets a look in by anybody but me

Did you make it on time?

You have a dh problem.

It’s now just 0800… I hope you’re about to drive off. Happy hols!

Tell them you are rolling off when the pips go at 8 and actually do it.

My Dad used to drop my sister off for her job at the station on his way to work. She used to reduce him to tears of frustration with her lateness until he started giving her an actual time (07:20) and synchronised watches.

She was never ready and went nuts at him over and over and he repeated the rolling off at 7:20 over and over until she got her act together. It was a long and protracted process but he was being driven batshit crazy with her antics.

Shower, dressed, shut the house down, check and think about passports/charge leads etc. Sounds reasonable to me. I'd rather be at the airport with coffee than rushing.

I absolutely LOVE packing. I spent a whole afternoon last weekend packing for going away this weekend. I enjoy planning outfits and laying them all out. It’s almost like a hobby (I go away a lot) and have many systems in place to facilitate it. I realise I’m not the norm in this respect though.

Mine does tbh

I decided a while back that if I stuck to just navy, yellow and white, packing was so much easier. Everything went with everything else. Absolutely simple.

On the other hand it’s easier because there’s no restriction on how much you can bung in the car.

LOL - you've done a good job with the kids OP.

Mine are younger, but I also expect them to be able to pack for a holiday/weekend away with no input from me, and they've got pretty good.

Ex never managed it.

I think this list does definitely make sense.
i would definitely have some kind of hair/ mani / pedi/ eyelash tint/ eyebrow shape and wax type beauty time before going on a main overseas hot holiday.
… And definitely a small shopping trip to get something new!
In the past my cleaner used to come whilst I was away so she didn’t drop wages, now I don’t have one, I definitely clean before going as I want to come back to a nice house.
I alter any deliveries that are regular to come before or after like pet food.
Definitely water plants.
Depending on when traveling I would also do a specific wash beforehand so everything clean and in cupboards to make packing easier.
Prob wouldn’t bother with car unless taking it with me.
Actual packing is quite quick.
Food shop for return I would do on the app from holiday. I’m always a bit rubbish at planning trips and excursions whilst I’m there so I don’t do that in advance 😬 as want to go with the flow but often then feel like we’ve missed out - so am going to do this in advance too!

am assuming OP is ready to go.

I completely agree with you - except that i would have had one family meeting when the arrangements were finalised and explained, once, to everyone what the hard deadlines were.

I am a boarding school kid with Packing Trauma. I never pack for ANYONE else, and never have. Poor DH did all of it (to be fair, only for him and the DC, all the family, general stuff i did slightly more of it than he did)

Genuinely amazed that 92% of people feel it’s a problem not to have packed anything at 7.45pm for a holiday that starts at 8am the following morning. How long does it take people to pack a suitcase? If I’m getting a suitcase packed for a morning start, I do it just before I go to bed. It only takes half an hour, surely?! Especially for a UK holiday.

“Last calls to family”? It’s a holiday, not your last night on Death Row.