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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU we leave on holiday tomorrow morning and …

331 replies

Sundaybananas · 01/07/2025 19:43

We leave on holiday tomorrow morning, and I’m the only one packed. DH and two older teens have done nothing. They barely seem to have registered that we are going tomorrow.

AIBU to just leave them to it, and if that means they have nothing but what they are standing up in then maybe they will learn for next time?

(so as not to drip feed, it’s a U.K. self catering holiday but we have to leave at 8am tomorrow, and the location is remote. There will be a small supermarket but no clothes shops.)

OP posts:
Picklechicken · 02/07/2025 08:45

DontTouchRoach · 02/07/2025 08:39

Genuinely amazed that 92% of people feel it’s a problem not to have packed anything at 7.45pm for a holiday that starts at 8am the following morning. How long does it take people to pack a suitcase? If I’m getting a suitcase packed for a morning start, I do it just before I go to bed. It only takes half an hour, surely?! Especially for a UK holiday.

Same.

We’ve just returned from a week in Spain and I started packing at 8pm the night before we left at 4am for our flight!

allamberedover · 02/07/2025 08:56

I am so torn between these two methods
A Just get it sorted now or tomorrow will start with drama.

B if they aren’t ready go alone and enjoy!

but as I get older I more and more tend to veer towards "what are the compensatory features " of the person driving me round the bend .
So ,if they are generally loving ,kind ,good fun ,show appreciation and this is just a small annoying habit I'd go for option A .
If not ...option B

what happened ?

itsalwayssunnyhere · 02/07/2025 09:08

Let them sort themselves out!

Cherrytree86 · 02/07/2025 09:12

Fitasafiddle1 · 02/07/2025 07:33

No I come back rested, relaxed to a sparkling house and very organised life. Food in the fridge, ready to pick up my life again looking and feeling great 😎

Show quote history

@Fitasafiddle1

book shopping?? Just get them from
Amazon hun! And why does the car need to be washed??

Hellohelga · 02/07/2025 09:15

God no don’t leave them to it unless you want to leave at 12 tomorrow. Teenagers are always like this. I used to go in and sit on the bed and suggest we do it together. Works a treat, they’ll do anything to get rid of you.

Hellohelga · 02/07/2025 09:15

Leave the DH to it he’s a grown up

Sharptonguedwoman · 02/07/2025 09:24

PulchritudinousLycanthrope · 02/07/2025 08:04

Tell them you are rolling off when the pips go at 8 and actually do it.

My Dad used to drop my sister off for her job at the station on his way to work. She used to reduce him to tears of frustration with her lateness until he started giving her an actual time (07:20) and synchronised watches.

She was never ready and went nuts at him over and over and he repeated the rolling off at 7:20 over and over until she got her act together. It was a long and protracted process but he was being driven batshit crazy with her antics.

Show quote history

Well done to him!

Fitasafiddle1 · 02/07/2025 09:27

Cherrytree86 · 02/07/2025 09:12

@Fitasafiddle1

book shopping?? Just get them from
Amazon hun! And why does the car need to be washed??

Show quote history

We prefer to eat something that isn’t from Amazon, hun.
I like a clean car to travel in.

EarthlyNightshade · 02/07/2025 09:31

Hellohelga · 02/07/2025 09:15

God no don’t leave them to it unless you want to leave at 12 tomorrow. Teenagers are always like this. I used to go in and sit on the bed and suggest we do it together. Works a treat, they’ll do anything to get rid of you.

This is a good one. I offer "help" in an ever present way - they hate that and it gets them moving.

OP, are you en route?

xILikeJamx · 02/07/2025 09:35

Actually think the OP is hugely unreasonable not to update all us strangers on here this morning before leaving.

Feel sorry for your DH and kids. LTB. Spiders' willies. etc.

Cherrytree86 · 02/07/2025 09:38

Fitasafiddle1 · 02/07/2025 09:27

We prefer to eat something that isn’t from Amazon, hun.
I like a clean car to travel in.

Show quote history

@Fitasafiddle1

you eat your books?

minnienono · 02/07/2025 09:38

I’ve packed 30 minutes before leaving many times when going by car - so easy you just lob things into shopping bags! Now packing for hand luggage only, that takes time

TaranFollt · 02/07/2025 09:42

Always makes me chuckle at airport security if a family man is asked, 'did you pack your case, sir?'

Comtesse · 02/07/2025 09:43

I am going on holiday on Saturday morning. I am fully anticipating not getting any sleep at all the night before (same for DH) - like a complete all nighter. Will be away for 3 weeks, will be working like mad until the last moment, there is a family birthday too to sort out this week so tons of stuff for that too. I will hopefully remember to empty the bins! I think this thread is telling me I am spectacularly disorganised oh well……

G5000 · 02/07/2025 09:50

TaranFollt · 02/07/2025 09:42

Always makes me chuckle at airport security if a family man is asked, 'did you pack your case, sir?'

Do people actually pack for their adult husbands, or teenage children? I can't even imagine, I wouldn't know what they want to wear and take, to start with.

Jujujudo · 02/07/2025 10:01

We are flying tonight and I gave up and packed for them. I don’t have the energy or headspace to keep nagging them. I probably know what they need better than they do anyway!

Tiredandtiredagain · 02/07/2025 10:04

Jujujudo · 02/07/2025 10:01

We are flying tonight and I gave up and packed for them. I don’t have the energy or headspace to keep nagging them. I probably know what they need better than they do anyway!

How ridiculous!

Are you going to do this for evermore?

Thereby always suffering the stress.

SatsumaDog · 02/07/2025 10:08

I wonder if op left on time or not? If it were my family we would be leaving at 10 rather than 8. It’s very frustrating and completely avoidable if people just got their shit together. I loathe packing, especially for other people.

Sunbeam01 · 02/07/2025 10:09

Sundaybananas · 02/07/2025 00:46

I think we’re going to make it!

DH is now packed. DS1 is still waiting for the tumble drier to finish, but has everything ready apart from that. I spent the evening with a glass of wine, happy to answer questions if asked but not nagging and not doing it for them.

And I stand by my approach of not doing it for them! 😀They’ll all be more efficient next time.

Though to be fair, as someone pointed out, it wasn’t the boys fault. They were working from misinformation from DH. And at the appropriate time tomorrow I’ll show DH the texts I sent him, and his replies to them 😆

Good for you OP!

I'm going to make sure my DS is fully independent before he leaves the nest too!

Have a great holiday.

Brefugee · 02/07/2025 10:11

minnienono · 02/07/2025 09:38

I’ve packed 30 minutes before leaving many times when going by car - so easy you just lob things into shopping bags! Now packing for hand luggage only, that takes time

but you're an adult? and we're talking about teenagers here (I'm leaving DH out here because it is up to him if he packs or not)

tbh if they were going off duff information they have now learned to check with both parents before doing last minute stuff.

Brefugee · 02/07/2025 10:13

Jujujudo · 02/07/2025 10:01

We are flying tonight and I gave up and packed for them. I don’t have the energy or headspace to keep nagging them. I probably know what they need better than they do anyway!

that's on you. Make a list this time, and next time just throw it at them. They will not learn to be fully functional adults if you just keep doing things for them because it's easier. (unless they are under 10). Please say you didn't pack for your adult partner.

Making a rod for your own back is daft.

ssd · 02/07/2025 10:14

Fitasafiddle1 · 02/07/2025 04:19

Really? I think about my preparation and wonder how we are so different

Spring clean house ready to return
Clean fridge and cupboards
Pet delivery
book shopping
salon visit for hair
Salon visit for wax, pedicure and manicure
Wash and iron everything
Security lights etc
house checks
water plants
buy new clothes if needed
match with jewellery
cosmetics bought
trips, activities and restaurants booked
last calls to family
book food shopping for return
Double check schedule and hotels
passsport check and paperwork
car refuelled, washed and cleaned and ready
Meals planned for travelling days
snacks and water for journey
washing completed

How can this be done in a few hours?!

Edited
Show quote history

I take it you dont work?

Cherryicecreamx · 02/07/2025 10:16

Goingawayistricky · 01/07/2025 19:55

Depends on if you go away a lot. Both me and partner are used to travel and can pack quickly ( toilet bag ready to go at all times).

Luckily It’s uk so everyone knows what the fashion and weather is likely to be. Maybe different if you ae doing stuff.you normally wouldn’t and need to remember kit.

I’dve more pissed off with no one helping with the self catering aspect. Are they putting in buts or expecting you to remember all their essential food requirements?

Yep I have an essential toiletry overnight bag in my car. It really helps wherever I'm going, I just need to add the bag for clothes that I'll need.

Have to admit OP, as a teen I remember rush packing the morning of a two week cruise whilst my mum was panicking I had nothing ready to go. No way would I do that now but they do learn. Just got to let them get on with it and go at the time planned regardless.

My dad used to pack morning of trips as well as it will only take him 20 mins. You've got yourself sorted, relax and leave them to it.

Tina3589 · 02/07/2025 10:17

I remember 2 years ago I was admitted to hospital for emergency surgery on the Thursday and we were due to go on holiday on the Monday. I was literally discharged on the Sunday night- 5 kids, youngest was 4 months old at the time. Eldest was only 9. We still went ahead with the trip- UK break and I felt guilty for cancelling but I texted husband asking if he could do the packing etc. he told me he has sorted it. Came home from hospital at 7pm on the Sunday to learn he had packed for himself only. Had to get my sister to come help me with my own stuff and the 5 kids. Was awful.

MasterBeth · 02/07/2025 10:20

Fitasafiddle1 · 02/07/2025 09:27

We prefer to eat something that isn’t from Amazon, hun.
I like a clean car to travel in.

Show quote history

How dirty is your car for the rest of the year?

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