AIBU we leave on holiday tomorrow morning and …

[Sundaybananas]

We leave on holiday tomorrow morning, and I’m the only one packed. DH and two older teens have done nothing. They barely seem to have registered that we are going tomorrow.

AIBU to just leave them to it, and if that means they have nothing but what they are standing up in then maybe they will learn for next time?

(so as not to drip feed, it’s a U.K. self catering holiday but we have to leave at 8am tomorrow, and the location is remote. There will be a small supermarket but no clothes shops.)

They've still got ages! If no-one is packed when you go to bed give them a friendly reminder that you're leaving at 8am tomorrow.

This. And it will mean you won’t leavd at 8am - but much, much later

In my house we do a ‘right, everyone needs to just focus on getting this done now’ and then everyone has to spend 30 mins sorting whatever needs sorting. Other uses include the ‘blitz tidy.’

The expectation is it’s good enough after 30 mins and everyone can stop what they’re doing for that amount of time (or are incentivized to do it quicker). If stuff gets forgotten then tough.

We also make it clear who’s on the shared stuff duty - I have packed the suncream, towels and cards. I have not touched your specific toothpaste or vitamins.

It takes my DH 5 minutes to pack a bag! He would start packing at 7.45 and finish way before 8.00!

Do you usually pack for everyone? As in, are they expecting you to do it?

If not, just leave them to it. My husband is like this, he is a last minute person but in fairness he manages to get all packed in record time solo so it doesn’t make any difference to me.

They’ve already had several reminders. I’m not giving any more. I also feel I have a duty not to baby two boys (17 and 28) otherwise they won’t learn and future DIL/SIL will be dealing with it.

I already sorted the self catering stuff, but am leaving them to figure out e.g. phone chargers, toiletries etc.

Older DS has just put a load of washing in, that he needs for packing (so at least some forethought 😄. But he put it on a 4 hour wash cycle 🙄

Despite it being a U.K. holiday, we do have to check in for a ferry, so definitely a 9am start.

Do whatever will give you the best holiday. Assuming they’re kind nice, family members usually I’d help them out a bit so the holiday is fun. I can see it’s annoying but aren’t we all in our own ways.

I have teens. It would be a hard choice in this house:

6am alarm and pack in the morning
Or their cases are ready by 9.45pm

This gives them autonomy and choice without disrupting your morning and start to the holiday.

Everyone would choose a few tasks to do be it cooking or cleaning whilst away.

Leave them to it. My DD has been packing for herself since her trip to Llangrannog (a,rite of passage for South Wales children ) in Year 6.

This. The only thing I care that anyone else has brought is their passport if flying abroad.

Everything else they can do without or deal with the consequences of not bringing it.

But does that weak position just lead to teens doing nothing at all, and then blaming you because they don’t have x,y and z. We have loving family but it’s also respectful because I refuse to become a doormat. I think we should be raising independent, self sufficient young adults personally. This is not a dig at you, as a life long people pleaser I can not talk, but I have realised we have to raise the bar for our dc to become well rounded and capable and not give in for an easy life.

28, you have to treat a 28 yr old like a teen, how did that happen

Exactly, they are old enough to pack their own suitcases. Leave them to it.

Exactly this.

Mine could all pack for themselves from about 11. We had the occasional forgotten swim trunks but mostly they had the right number of pants. Or, if they didn't, they didn't feel the need to tell me and just got on with it.

Are you driving? If so just leave when you have stated, 8am. If you aren't the driver then you'll be stuck with when the driver is willing to leave, annoying as that is.

Though I note it will have to be 9am latest anyway so tough titty if they forget anything. I can pack very quickly. What takes the time is compiling/adding to the packing list (on and off) in the days before. I expect they've given it zero thought.

This.
I would just do it even if only so that I could have a nice holiday, without having to listen people moaning about not having enough clothes or whatever, or not being able to do xy or z because they forgot some gear.

I'd just leave them to it and if someone isn't ready they'd simply get left behind. My mother was a last-minute faffer and it drove me mad. That said, it's undoubtedly a good thing that I never had children.

Same. I can pack in ten minutes. Duplicate toiletries already in wash bag. A week’s worth of underwear and tops, two pairs of shoes and trousers. Makeup bag, kindle and iPad thrown in at last minute.

I always leave mine to it! I do me and whatever I am responsible for. One time, despite making it clear how many days we were away for, one of my girls didn't bring many knickers...."You'll have to wash them love" ....shocked and mortified squeaks 🙂 she hasn't done it again!

Oh my... the 4 hour wash cycle... I'm infuriated on your behalf. This is the sort of thing that would happen in my house too and it drives me insane!

I don't get why you would need to get up at 6.00am to pack to be ready to leave 8. What are people doing that takes so long!!

We once went to South Africa for a week as a family when me and my siblings were teenagers and my dad packed one pair of corduroy trousers to last the whole week. He practically boiled to death in them and has been a more conscientious packer ever since!

If you can’t somehow coerce them into packing tonight, you will not be leaving by 8am…
Try bribery, maybe?

To be honest the worst thing that you can do is moan. My DM was like this before every holiday and it was bloody awful. You’re simply annoying yourself and creating unnecessary tension within the house. They’re all old enough to do this without you nagging them and they’re aware that there is a tight deadline to pack - yes it may be last minute but of course they’ll get it done. Leave them to it.

DD is a nightmare for last minute packing but I’ll give her credit that she is incredibly efficient + organised once she actually starts. Just one of those people who works best under pressure. She went to Australia a few months ago and started the night before (her flight was at 6am!!) 🤣

Typo. 18.