Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go part time even though it will impact our quality of life

82 replies

PerfectPennyKilledMyHusband · 01/07/2025 17:31

I was recently made redundant not long after returning from maternity leave and I'm currently deciding what to do next.

We could actually afford for me to just take something part time, low stress. I could work 3 days and spend 4 with my little girl. We could comfortably afford all bills but it doesn't leave much for luxuries.

Or I could go for a similar role as my last job, full time which would mean barely seeing my daughter Monday to Friday. But we would have a lot more spare money for things like holidays.

Part of me thinks I should go part time as it would only be for a couple of years until she starts school and then I could go back to my career. But I accept it would be harder after a break. I can't really do part time with my career, so it would mean taking a big step down. Which could then be a struggle to get back up.

But we aren't having any more children, I'm only going to have this time with her once.

On the other hand, I love holidays. And I want to provide for her and give her the best life possible, so maybe I should work more even if it means I get less time with her?

OP posts:
Morningsleepin · 01/07/2025 17:34

I personally preferred to work part-time when my dd was growing. I could have coped being a SAHM and working full-time, in my case, would have made me a shit parent

Hankunamatata · 01/07/2025 17:37

I think its hard for people to give answers. We don't know your career. How easy it would be to get back in? Is current job area flexible? Can you work from home? Is there job shares avaliable?

Michele09 · 01/07/2025 17:38

Go part time. Once they're teenagers and don't want to be with you, you'll never regret that time you had together. It goes so quickly and you'll never have the chance again.

caffelattetogo · 01/07/2025 17:40

You don’t get the time again. I’d grab the time with kids while they’re small.

Whosenameisthis · 01/07/2025 17:47

Have you spoken to your husband/partner? You haven’t even mentioned one…

you state all your considerations, but how does he feel bearing the financial load and seeing less of your dd as he needs to work and progress his career?

what about alternatives such as both of you going 0.7? Then you can keep earning and progressing, one of you isn’t bearing the load, and one or both can go back up to full time in case of further redundancy/illness etc.

Have you also thought about your pension, can you afford to maintain contributions? What happens if your partner leaves, becomes critically ill or dies? How will you support your family?

Whippetlovely · 01/07/2025 17:49

Part time all the way, you can afford it, you won't get the time back.

Notouchingmybhuna · 01/07/2025 17:49

Part tome every time.

ScratCat · 01/07/2025 17:51

I worked 2 days a week when mine were little. I’d have hated to be full time and miss out on that bit.

But - we could easily afford it, and still have the good holidays and most importantly, my husband was happy to be the bread winner.

You both have to be on board if it’s going to affect what you can afford.

MyUmberSeal · 01/07/2025 17:51

Part time. I fully intend to never work FT again. It’s time you’ll never get back, with children or without. If you can afford it, it’s a no brainer.

Whosenameisthis · 01/07/2025 17:54

Does nobody ever think dad may not want to miss out on this time either?

best thing we did was dh went pt for a couple of years. Massively improved his bond with the kids, and he learned rapidly how to manage all the “mental load”.

Bear in mind o/p that a downside is you will likely take on all the housework and childcare while your partner works full time, and as we see from threads here that dynamic is hard to change once established.

BlueMum16 · 01/07/2025 17:55

I'm going against the trend here and say stick with full time.

With the right balance and support from DP you could have 2 really good family days, use the excess money for a cleaner/gardener and holidays so the time you have together is special.

If your DP considering putting their career in hold to raise your DC?

4 days at home will mean all household cleaning cooking etc and we see on here all the time people getting fed up of the imbalance of parenting or finances or just general life admin.

InterestedDad37 · 01/07/2025 17:57

P/t and enjoy your time with your daughter while she's so little, and you can 😊

gattocattivo · 01/07/2025 17:57

Whosenameisthis · 01/07/2025 17:47

Have you spoken to your husband/partner? You haven’t even mentioned one…

you state all your considerations, but how does he feel bearing the financial load and seeing less of your dd as he needs to work and progress his career?

what about alternatives such as both of you going 0.7? Then you can keep earning and progressing, one of you isn’t bearing the load, and one or both can go back up to full time in case of further redundancy/illness etc.

Have you also thought about your pension, can you afford to maintain contributions? What happens if your partner leaves, becomes critically ill or dies? How will you support your family?

agree 100%

you’re both parents! The optimum situation might be to actually both reduce your hours a bit rather than one taking all the hit career wise, and possibly meaning the other has more pressure to earn and less time with his child. In terms of tax and pensions it’s often far more sensible to both be earning a reasonable income rather than one earning lots and the other earning little

Ineedanewsofa · 01/07/2025 17:58

Went back full time, DH took a lower stress, more flexible role to be the default parent. No regrets as I always had the higher earning job and it put us in a solid position financially.
We have switched roles now, I’m holding steady and DH is ramping up, DD is 10 and I’m finding really needs mum now to navigate all the pre teen, hormonal changes and friendship drama.

alexalisten · 01/07/2025 18:00

Definitely part time. Time is more important then money aslong as i can pay my bills im good.

Justkeepingplatesspinning · 01/07/2025 18:00

Both of you go to 0.8 or 0.7 but do it as flexible working requests one year at a time so you can go back up to full-time if you need or want to.
Keep cleaners etc and shopping delivery if you have them already. Don't fall into the trap of spending your time off doing housework or in the supermarket.

Jabberwok · 01/07/2025 18:01

What about you're partner, I bet he'd love to work part time, spend time with dd. You haven't even mentioned him. How it will impact him. Will he need to up his hours? Will he have the potential to reduce them and join you and you both work reduced hours? What is your earnings potential part time? Do you have savings for emergency bills like a new freezer, boiler etc?

If he's happy then do it, but make sure he is happy first.

Mischance · 01/07/2025 18:11

Part time for sure

Brefugee · 01/07/2025 18:13

as pp said: why not discuss it with your partner. You could both work 4 days, for example

StarDolphins · 01/07/2025 18:19

I Went PT when my DD was young & it’s absolutely been the right thing for me. When she’s a teen & doesn’t want to spend time with me, I’ll up my hours. I’m so glad I sacrificed things to be there for her & we still did masses of fun stuff. Camping hols took the place of sunny hols though.

EleanorReally · 01/07/2025 18:32

if you want to, go part time
you do what's right for your family

ReadingSoManyThreads · 01/07/2025 18:38

I'd go part-time, but I'm not a person who is fussed on luxuries. You don't ever get that time back when they're young. When you're ready to go back to full time, your previous experience will help with getting back up there quickly.

OMGitsnotgood · 01/07/2025 18:44

It will impact your income, NOT your quality of life. Time with children is far more important than luxuries. You will have more time for planning things like meals, holidays, days out etc which can help you spend less than if you were working full time. And you need fewer work clothes, which in my case anyway we’re always more expensive than my casual home clothes.If you find money becomes really tight or part time isn’t working for you, you can always increase your hours.

hannahbanana93 · 01/07/2025 18:46

You'll never get this time with your daughter back, you can go back full time when shes in school. Small children don't need holidays abroad.

TheLemonLemur · 01/07/2025 18:52

What does your husband think? It's all well thinking about pros and cons for you but will he be resentful at working full time and not having a holiday to relax, what will the household chores, childcare split look like? There's lots to consider but you don't get the time back with little ones