To go part time even though it will impact our quality of life

[PerfectPennyKilledMyHusband]

I was recently made redundant not long after returning from maternity leave and I'm currently deciding what to do next.

We could actually afford for me to just take something part time, low stress. I could work 3 days and spend 4 with my little girl. We could comfortably afford all bills but it doesn't leave much for luxuries.

Or I could go for a similar role as my last job, full time which would mean barely seeing my daughter Monday to Friday. But we would have a lot more spare money for things like holidays.

Part of me thinks I should go part time as it would only be for a couple of years until she starts school and then I could go back to my career. But I accept it would be harder after a break. I can't really do part time with my career, so it would mean taking a big step down. Which could then be a struggle to get back up.

But we aren't having any more children, I'm only going to have this time with her once.

On the other hand, I love holidays. And I want to provide for her and give her the best life possible, so maybe I should work more even if it means I get less time with her?

I would agree, don’t downgrade your role. I’ve a one year old and a three year old, and I fantasise about stepping off sometimes because it’s exhausting to be working at this level and parenting and managing the house. But realistically, there’d be downsides to you downgrading- boredom, less money, inability to get back to where you were etc. And loss of confidence to get back to where you were.

Id say go for a five day a week role and then either raise 4 days a week after successful interviews or put in a flexi request after you pass your probation. My four days a week got declined, my partners four days a week got declined, but they both agreed 4.5 days a week would have little impact so that got approved. Plus with ‘core hours’ working, we can start early or leave early, as long as we make the hours up later. I usually do them after bedtime. Having said that my new colleague in a similar role asked upfront at interview, and she did get four days a week approved - and this is in a sector which isn’t really open to part time. You might be surprised what’s out there when you look, however daunting that might be

It’s hard to say without knowing you and your career. I was high earner binned it to be stay at home mum for 6 years then started own business and out earn Dh. Feel so grateful I had those years with them but equally now they are teens they want and respect money.

Part time! I spent ten years being quite career driven before having DD’s, I now do 25 hours a week and love it. I’m lucky my industry pays reasonably well (finance) so we still are reasonably comfortable. But I love it, I can keep on top of house hold jobs much easier (washing etc) we have a cleaner fortnightly as well for bigger jobs and I get two full days during the week with the kids. I love it, and don’t plan to go back to full time ever if I can help it! With tax brackets, I lose a couple of hundred a month, which is totally worth it for what I’ve gained back. I Defo had to change my spending habits though so support this, such as rarely buying clothes now, or saving towards items more

I would also stick with full time. The number of women I know who now have older children and are panicking after 10-15 years of part time work with crap pension contributions and are scrambling to try and make up the lost ground. Ideally find a role that gives you good flexibility. With that, full time hours are very manageable to work round being present as a mum. I went back full time after number 1 and number 2 with no regrets.

Part time and low stress sounds like an improved quality of life. Ok you might not be jetting off on holiday but low stress is worth more than that and means you can also make weekends special for dp . And it’s only for a few years. And if you all miss luxury over quality time then you can apply for something else.

Cutting down a bit on spending in the here and now - reducing meals out, new clothes etc - may be perfectly doable. That’s not the main hit though. Where part time work will really hit is in the future when you have a part time pension.

cant you look for something with a middle ground, so you’re able to get the advantages, pension and career profession of full time (plus being able to provide the experiences you say you want to give your daughter) but aren’t run ragged never seeing her? Full time doesn’t have to mean never having time with the kids.

Full time, please don’t underestimate just how hard it will be to move back up the ladder, employers will look sf your last employment. It could be no holidays for a very long time. And having extra always is helpful.

this time does go quickly, but they are your child for life, not just the pre school years, and for me building a career and being able to give mine different life experiences, be it holidays, tutoring, schooling etc, and an improved quality of life over the long term was better.