Am I pearl clutching?

[MumBlingAgain]

Neighbours teenage child had a party on Saturday. On the day, I was told there would be a birthday party in the garden and I said no problem, enjoy it, a bit of noise is fine.
Our gardens are tiny London gardens (think 5x5 meters, just enough space for a garden table and chairs) and back on to an old people's home so in my head, their party would be relatively civilised, or at least, end at 11pm.
To be fair, it wasn't horrible, but it was loud music playing and about twenty teens singing along until midnight. At midnight the music and singing continued but was turned down a little. At that
point 30 minutes of relentlessly banging the front door as teenagers made their way into the street shrieking loudly and talking as if they were on Oxford St, not some sleepy family suburb full of families sleeping.
So now I'm a bit torn.
AIBU to think that considerate people would not throw a party like that in a garden of a tiny terrace with so many neighbours, not even as a one off?
Or is it ok for one Saturday night in summer to keep all the neighbours up?
What bothers me is that they could have had the same fun party but perhaps ended it 30 minutes earlier, or at least, asked guest not to bang the door and to keep it quiet in the streets.
I also suspect another neighbour or the old people's home may have complained and that's the reason why the music volume went down at midnight, rather than out of an effort they made to be considerate (otherwise why the loud banging and shrieking on the other side of the property)

Kids will be kids. No harm done and hopefully it won’t be a regular occurrence!

But how is it no harm done? My entire family was kept up until 1am. Our usual bedtime is 7pm for children (one us a light sleeper) and 10pm for the rest of us.
Is one night of bad sleep for us and other neighbours no harm at all?

I really could not get worked up about this as a one off. Midnight seems pretty reasonable, yes they could have been careful with the door but teenagers generally just are not thoughtful even if told to be.

Once in a blue moon is fine. Get some ear plugs for next time.

What are you torn about? Whether to complain to them? I wouldn't bother after the fact. I would only complain if it kept happening. As long as they are generally ok neighbours I'd give them a pass on being inconsiderate once.

In the grand scheme of things, a one off night which ended shortly after midnight wouldn’t bother me - assuming they are otherwise reasonable neighbours.

You seem to think that because they don’t have a big garden, they shouldn’t throw a party which is a frankly laughable statement.

Oh fgs, loosen up. It’s a one-off. One of our neighbours had a marquee with a singer and DJ Saturday night, went on until midnight. Annoying? A bit. But they are good neighbours otherwise and it’s literally once a year…

It's a one off birthday party. If you have kids then presumably one day they will have a raucous party (or parties) too.

Have your own party next weekend!

As a one-off that you were warned about ahead of time, I’d think no harm done.

You say yourself that it was only in your head that it was a ‘civilised’ party without much noise and ending by 11. I think it sounds fairly civilised as teenage parties go, anyway.

Consider yourself extremely lucky to have such considerate neighbors who only have a party once in a blue moon. Moreover, they started winding down at midnight and were all gone and quiet by 1 am, which is more than reasonable.

It wasn't midgnight. Party continued until 1am but with music less loud, still lots of shouting and singing, and on the other side of the property door banging and banging and people shouting in the street.
I don't plan to complain but what I'm trying to ascertain is whether these people are a**holes.
My current view is that anyone willing to inflict this on several other houses + an old people's home is indeed not a good neighbour.

But what actually harm has it actually done?

It’s inconsiderate and shit OP. I don’t blame you for feeling upset. Honestly it’s the heat I think making people act like even bigger twats than usual. They did at least warn you and hopefully it was just a one off and won’t happen again. If they mention another party to you just say you hope it will be nothing like the last one!

Their right to enjoy their home doesn’t trump yours, and neither does your right trump theirs. A one off isn’t that big a deal - people should be entitled to enjoy themselves at home from time to time.

Exactly, it’s just one night…

thank you but I guess my question was different.
sure the party wasn't horrible and I say it myself in my OP.
but I'm thinking that as a parent and neighbour, I would never let my kids feel it's ok to host a party like this keeping neighbours up all night.
i would rather give them money to invite their friends out and yes, supervise them if needed.
and failing that, if budget is too tight and I'm really keen for a home party, at least explain that between midnight and 1 am there is no waking up everyone in the street with loud shrieks and banging.
these kids were younger than 18 so it was a party with mum & dad at home

But if everyone on the street did this just once a year we'd be up every week

I personally wouldn't write someone off as an arsehole off the back of one night of arseholery, no. Nobody is perfectly behaved and considerate all the time. You're pissed off today with good reason - you must be knackered. That doesn't mean you have to be pissed off forever though.

It was a teenage party that spilled onto the street when they were going home, it is irritating but it is fine, have you never heard after 9pm noise before?

I'm on your side op! At 11pm anything should be moved indoors with the windows shut, just out of respect for neighbours. Teenagers are not fully socialised (some adults never achieve that status), but this doesn't mean we should expect them to be antisocial and let it go.

I would hang fire on judging them as 'not a good neighbour', just because a single party ended 2 hours later than you imagined it would (based on no evidence).

If they approach you in future, you could suggest an appreciation of it finishing by X time, and you'd hope that in the interests of good neighbourly relations they would take that on board, but they don't have to.

They are less likely to consider you in future, if you complain to them now.

I’m uncomfortable with use of the term pearl clutching here.

It is usually used to silence women raising legitimate safeguarding concerns (like kids shouldn’t be at sexualised Drag shows, or men shouldn’t be allowed to wander round the female changing rooms when a crowd of teenage girl swimmers are changing etc) and your situation is also a perfectly legitimate issue of inconsiderate neighbours.

I understand your frustration and do think that your neighbours were being inconsiderate either the noise levels and should have quietened down earlier and the adults been firmer with the teenagers. Hopefully it is a one off but if they plan another one I think it would be fair to raise it with them.

Grumpy children all of Sunday (and grumpy adults though we try to control our behaviours 😂), more tantrums, less patience for the tantrums, which made a nice family occasion we planned for less enjoyable.

To be honest I didn't imagine your kids would be wide awake till the noise stopped, mine might find it harder to fall asleep but no way could noise through windows keep them awake til 1am.

But yes, you're right in that if they were being more considerate they could have moved the party indoors a bit earlier and held the door open while everyone left. They could also have gone on till 3am and not turned the music down at all. I guess I would want to be able to let my kids have a one off party when they're older so I would accept my neighbours doing the same.

I'm not sure what you want to hear. It was a one off, you were warned in advanced. An occasional party isn't anything to get worked up about. It might have been irritating, but they didn't keep you up 'all night' as you claim. Just forget about it.

YABU.