Am I pearl clutching?

[MumBlingAgain]

Neighbours teenage child had a party on Saturday. On the day, I was told there would be a birthday party in the garden and I said no problem, enjoy it, a bit of noise is fine.
Our gardens are tiny London gardens (think 5x5 meters, just enough space for a garden table and chairs) and back on to an old people's home so in my head, their party would be relatively civilised, or at least, end at 11pm.
To be fair, it wasn't horrible, but it was loud music playing and about twenty teens singing along until midnight. At midnight the music and singing continued but was turned down a little. At that
point 30 minutes of relentlessly banging the front door as teenagers made their way into the street shrieking loudly and talking as if they were on Oxford St, not some sleepy family suburb full of families sleeping.
So now I'm a bit torn.
AIBU to think that considerate people would not throw a party like that in a garden of a tiny terrace with so many neighbours, not even as a one off?
Or is it ok for one Saturday night in summer to keep all the neighbours up?
What bothers me is that they could have had the same fun party but perhaps ended it 30 minutes earlier, or at least, asked guest not to bang the door and to keep it quiet in the streets.
I also suspect another neighbour or the old people's home may have complained and that's the reason why the music volume went down at midnight, rather than out of an effort they made to be considerate (otherwise why the loud banging and shrieking on the other side of the property)

And yet you said none of this in your OP? You’d have had different responses if you’d said they’d been inconsiderate neighbours for a long time. Though I’m assuming the building work was done within the usual daytime hours?

Ah, the inevitable drip feed when an OP doesn't gain unanimous validation.

If it was every weekend then you'd have a point. But as a one-off? Could not get worked up about it nor consider them arsehole bad neighbours. Have a nice strong coffee and forget about it.

Come on, OP. You know perfectly well that a one-off party is not comparable to your husband hitting you as a one-off.

Building work is pretty normal, as is taking in parcels. I don’t actually see anything here that makes them inconsiderate or bad neighbours.

Agreed re not creating conflict. I don't plan to complain

I don’t have a problem with occasional parties like this, especially if it ended at 12.30. It might be normal for you to go to bed at 10pm on a Saturday night, but that’s not normal for most people. It it happened every week, I would agree that it’s a bit much, but as a one off I think you’re being really unreasonable.

Yes, you are pearl clutching. Unfortunately living in close quarters with other people means you will inevitably be disturbed about points. If it was every day, I'd be annoyed. A one off, I would probably grumble in my head, but no more than that. If silence is really important to you, you could probably get a detached house with a decent for the same value as your current house, out in the sticks!

Ah yet another one of these

OP - AIBU?
Some posters - Yes loosen up a bit.
OP - No I am not and here is why.

OP why bother asking if you think you are right????

Didn't plan to drip feed and agree the past is not relevant to this post. For me the post was about the party as a standalone and if acceptable.
i see there is actually a mix in views more weighted towards it being ok. Which is fine.
i am listening and agree with those who are advising not to create conflict.
but I also think it's fair to stop taking in their parcels all the time since I no longer harbour particularly neighbourly feelings towards them.
what we do to avoid inconveniencing neighbours with our parcels is we have allowed for delivery to our shed. I would encourage most people to do similar unless your neighbours have explicitly agreed to sort you out, because being interrupted by the doorbell while working is a pain

Agreed 😂. I hear you and I think you are all probably right on average.
i will not create conflict but I think it's ok to make less of an effort to help them going forward.
that will be my way of coping with their behaviour and not feeling like a doormat

So no harm done.

It was a one-off party and 1am isn't the end of the world.

It's a one off. Don't be mean.

If its an occasional event, I view it as piling up the points on my side of the balance. At some point, everbody needs a skip, noisy workmen, a large van or lorry or similar which will inconvenience neighbours and it can be worth being the easygoing person.

I can’t bear a party pooper. Haven’t you ever thrown a party? Maybe not…

Oops. I may have already failed to take in 2 packages for them this morning.
one on grounds that I hadn't been asked to and the other because I couldn't be bothered to open the door for Amazon.
I'll try to be nice again once the sleep deprivation has totally dissipated. As long as there are no further infringements 😂

They gave you warning in advance. It was obviously a special occasion and it isn’t happening every weekend. Suck it up and get over it.

Nasty behaviour.

We've got teens next door to us, occasionally one of them throws a noisy party. Yes it's annoying when we are trying to sleep but we've got a young DC and presumably he annoys them by getting up at 6.30am every day, playing in the garden and crying half the night when he was a baby & toddler.

Lots of the beefs being sited here are regular London terraced house issues: loud building work from connecting terraces (this benefits house prices, including the lazy fuckers who do nothing to their properties), thin terraced walls that allow everyday sounds to escape (dogs barking, kids whining, tv/music), package taking (usually swings and roundabouts). Is it just me that finds this thread a bit passive aggressive?

We have small children so any parties we throw these days are in the afternoon and end well before the 11pm legal noise curfew 🙈.
but when I was a teenager / younger adult my parents had pretty much drilled it into me that we shouldn't inconvenience our neighbours. So we always invited all the neighbours, or made sure noise was not going to bother (eg party indoors, not under their bedroom windows)
i do think it's inevitable that a night time party produces some unwanted noise, but there are ways to contain it that I don't think were used in this instance.

All this said... I agree with one poster who said everyone should get to gave one wild party once a year, i think that's a fair rule.

It seems from your update that the party was a one-off in itself, but also part of a wider pattern of inconsiderate behaviour by these neighbours. On that basis, YNBU.

At the same time, it's reasonable to be careful with assumptions about whether one-offs are harmful or not. When I was a young undergraduate, we had a party for my then boyfriend's 21st at his shared house in an ordinary street; that is, many of our neighbours weren't students, they were people with jobs to get up for and other commitments, as we found when we let our neighbours know about the party. The lady of the house (a very sweet woman, IIRC) said they had her mother living with them. The older lady had Alzheimer's and a lot of noise really distressed her. They'd had student parties next door before and the outcome was very upsetting. Could we please keep the volume down? We were happy to oblige. After the event, they popped round with a box of chocolates and their thanks. "We didn't hear a thing. We wouldn't have known you were having a party if you hadn't told us." They turned out to be some of the kindest, most helpful neighbours I've ever had.

A takeaway for those who are having a party is that just because it's a one-off, it doesn't mean the noise won't matter. Your neighbours are just as real as you are and not everyone lives in the same way.

For those living next door, if you think there might be a problem, express your anxieties to your neighbours before they have the chance to transmogrify from nice young people into drunken wolverines. Although our neighbours weren't obliged to tell us their circumstances, knowing there was someone nearby with serious health problems motivated us to keep the noise down. And catching us beforehand meant there was no need for defensiveness on our part.

I wish this was all I had to worry about.

Honestly OP it’s such a minor thing - young people like to enjoy themselves sometimes, probably just finished A levels or something. Try to see the joy in other people’s happiness instead of looking at your own minor gripes.

If you don’t want to hear other people’s noise you need to move to a place where you are more isolated.

That's a good point. In our partying days in a London flat, we had friends over one night and when we failed to turn the music down at 11pm, our polite next door neighbour slipped a note under the door next day to explain she was a doctor and working shifts and our noise was preventing her from sleeping and giving her best to her patients.
we felt mortified at the time and it has really made us think twice about how we do things since then

Not taking parcels in because they had a one off party on a Saturday night is bat shit. Theyre not the ones who sound like nightmare neighbours tbh!