To be fucking pissed off about this?

[2amClub]

Boyfriend is currently staying at my house overnight. My bedroom is too warm for him, so he brings in the fan. Now I can’t sleep because there’s too much background noise (he also has to have the tv on to be able to fall asleep).

I can turn the fan off, but then I have to hear/feel him tossing and turning because of the heat. I’ve now had to retreat to the living room to try and sleep without the noise, but now I’m not comfortable and unable to sleep anyway. For reference, I have chronic illnesses including arthritis so my knees are hurting sleeping on the sofa and it makes me feel quite unwell when I don’t get enough sleep - boyfriend knows all of this.

Boyfriend finds sleeping on the sofa triggering for issues to do with his ex, so naturally he didn’t offer to come in the living room with the fan instead and when I said I was unable to sleep, just offered up a “oh, I’m sorry!” and that was it.

AIBU to be fucking pissed off right now being unable to sleep in my own bed in my own house and thinking that he should be sleeping on the sofa instead because it’s him that needs the fan on?!

@2amClub I think it was a typo trying to tell you something!

‘The sofa… so, my ex has these nightmare things. In previous relationships, when he had one and disturbed his partner’s sleep they would make him sleep on the sofa rather than helping/comforting him therefore he now finds it triggering - apparently.’

😂😂😂 what? Get rid!

He cried on the morning because he had alot on the sofa? And expected a previous girlfriend to sit and comfort him after a nightmare? Are you both teenagers? Sounds like he wants his mummy not a girlfriend. What a pathetic, selfish man. I'd have dumped him after the crying in the morning episode. I couldn’t tolerate someone so whiny and pathetic

He slept on the sofa once here (I can’t remember why!) and cried about it the next morning.
That was the time you make it VERY clear that he goes home in future and not have the audacity to kick you out of your own bed.

I can't believe you accepted that last night, even without your health conditions 😯 It's time to evaluate whether he's worth being in pain for (ps, no man is).

This is entirely on you for allowing this. Your house, your rules! He’s a man-baby and an arsehole to boot. But you are agreeing to his man-baby demands, so 🤷‍♀️

The most obvious solution is to tell him to fuck off back to his own house...longer term - I also need background noise to fall asleep, I need something to focus on other than my own thoughts or im awake for hours. I bought a snoozeband recently after seeing them mentioned on here. It's wonderful, it's an eyemask and headphones in one, I put a podcast on and it works a treat

The sofa… so, my ex has these nightmare things. In previous relationships, when he had one and disturbed his partner’s sleep they would make him sleep on the sofa rather than helping/comforting him therefore he now finds it triggering - apparently. He slept on the sofa once here (I can’t remember why!) and cried about it the next morning.

😂😂😂

And you STILL didn't get the ick from this?? Just...how?

He cried about sleeping on the sofa…? No, its your house. If he can’t be considerate then he gets in his car and goes home to his own bed. Simple.

He's just putting his needs above yours, it's as simple as that

Best way to deal with this is using ‘ex’ at the beginning of ‘boyfriend’. Find someone who wouldn’t dream of treating you like this.

Then this Prince among men can go home. The sofa is "triggering" my arse! He just wants the best spot.

It's your house/your rules. Stop being such a doormat!

Just buy some earplugs ?

It grinds my gears when people say they are triggered by something completely normal, and make everyone else adjust to it. He may well have some issues, but it’s for him to learn how to manage those triggers, not make everyone around him suffer. Tell him to get counselling or hypnotherapy or something to work on how to manage his triggers.

Also wonder why the ex booted him out - for acting entitled with her?

Never mind rage, how has this big baby not given you the massive ick? Can't sleep without the TV, can't sleep without a fan, can't sleep on the sofa. Maybe you get him a man sized travel cot for when he stays over?

I have to be careful with things in my ears as it can start my vertigo off

If he finds the sofa triggering then he can sleep on the floor, or outside.

What you need to do is send him home at the point he starts pissing you off. I’ve thrown exes out in the middle of the night for snoring and keeping me awake. It’s your house, your rules.

You’re incompatible so I’d be looking at ending it if I were you. Why should you have to spend money powering a tv through the night? Why should you have to sleep on your own sofa when you own a bed? He’s taking the piss. Any normal person would apologise for keeping you awake and offer to go home.

He needs to learn how to deal with his triggers - funny how this particular trigger left him getting a good nights sleep and you being kicked out of your own bed.

I have a snoozeband and Dyson fan so I don't disturb DH with my needs at night. If you do want to stay together suggest HE buys these (or cheaper alternatives, although not sure how quiet other fans are).

You have my sympathise OP broken sleep is horrendous.

Another selfish man…. Surely you’ve read enough threads in here to know this will only escalate and get worse??

Just tell him to fuck off to the far end of fuck. What an entitled prick.

THAT is the comment you have decided to reply to??

What on earth does he bring to your relationship

He sounds absolutely awful

Get that princess outa your house