I’m probably being a prude but…

[Username73638]

…what is the deal with teenage girls running around basically naked these days?

Last week, I was driving down the road near a secondary school at letting out time and I must have seen about 5 girls’ actual bum cheeks as they were leaving school. Like, we all rolled our skirts up fairly short at school, but this was actually full knickers and bums on display… one girl was wearing a thong so it was just her whole bum on show.

Then, I was on the beach today (we live near the sea) with my two primary school aged sons and there were a group of maybe 13-14 year old girls, they were very young, more than half of whom were in thong bikinis. They spent most of the time on the beach doing a photoshoot, predominantly photos of them from behind looking out to sea, presumably for social media?!

I know teenagers have always been teenagers, but I’m pretty sure underage girls weren’t wearing thong bikinis on the beach when I was that age 😳

I could see other families on the beach felt uncomfortable with it too.

Do their parents know? Is this just how teenagers dress these days?

It’s not about women being free and relaxed in their bodies. (Actually with the level of eating disorders and body dissatisfaction nothing could be further from the truth).

It’s the “pontification” and over-sexualisation of our culture.

Sanchez Bezo looks like a blow up doll in some photos.

This is the aesthetic young. women are aiming for (though of course it’s mostly unconscious).

A short skirt doesn't signal lack of boundaries or lesbians would be groping at these girls. Lesbians do not do that typically but males do. Nope males choose to behave as society allows them to. You are blaming the girls for being sexually assaulted instead of blaming the perpetrator. No wonder we have a major issue with sexual assaults these days if the victim is to blame.

I don’t think victims are remotely to blame. As parents we do have responsibility for not putting our children into situations they lack the maturity to handle and for me this is one of them.

As an adult woman, I’m pretty solid on what is an isn’t appropriate behaviour in men. I can to some degree protect myself, I can respond to comments I don’t like (or ignore if I feel a response isn’t safe), I can remove myself, seek outside help etc. My 14 year old daughter isn’t there yet, she’s still learning about her own limits, the myriad of ways boys will try to push those boundaries and she’s developing her own strategies for dealing with difficult situations.

While she’s learning and growing it’s reasonable to not then introduce her to the potential impact of showing her arse (or breasts for that matter) in public. It elicits looks, comments and behaviours that she shouldn’t need to deal with and gives her another thing to think about. No what she wears shouldn’t make a difference, but it does.

Where you say that dressing a certain way is for male gaze.

So go on then, who was to blame for me being raped when I was naked? Me for having no boundaries and for dressing to entice or being naked to entice or him for raping?

Oh the irony here. Whilst young gals are showing even more flesh, the young lads are covering up more because they don't meet Andrew Tate's standards.

Funny, I was only chatting to a friend about this last week, i.e. that you don't see as many topless lads/men around like you used to, 20+ years ago.

We thought it might be to do with better knowledge about skin cancer, but the more we chatted we realised it may be about 'no six pack' shame.

Anyway, unless some of you have the ability to change the world, I'm afraid female (and male) flesh is always going to be sexualised. It was always so.

No i believe that womens breasts have more nerve endings than mens and their sensitivity levels change throughout the month, which doesn't happen to men as they don't menstruate

Does your other half like playing with your breasts and does it turn him on?

Does he jizz 😂 , just touching them. If so, that's worrying.

What the fuck? How do you get from me saying some clothing is made for the male gaze, to it's a womans fault if she gets attacked? That's one hell of a leap.

Nowhere have ever said its a victims fault, stop making shit up.

Putting them into situations? WTF?

So you are saying that women can handle rape but kids cannot and so it is ok for women because rape is fine for women? Absolutely not you would likely not be able to defend yourself if someone wanted to rape you, most people do not fight rapists off. It is the least likely response. So if you put yourself in a situation to be raped you are saying that is your fault?

No females 'put themselves in a situation' this is why most females do not get support when they report because of attitudes like this. Almost all are blamed by family and friends based on clothing, situation etc.

So what education are you teaching your child on how not to get raped? Never dating anyone? Never marrying? As most sexual assaults happen in the home with a partner and if you encourage her to date aren't you then 'encouraging her into a situation'?

What she wears makes no difference at all. If someone wants to rape her they will regardless of what she wears. however, if she gets raped when wearing something like a skirt she will not report it to you as she knows you will blame her.

Look at the what were you wearing project for some home truths about how clothing makes no difference.

https://risenow.us/impact/what-were-you-wearing/

You're really trying to twist people's words. Try listening to what people are actually saying, even if you don't agree, rather than trying to twist it into something else in order to discred it, its not discussing in good faith.

Clothing is made for women to wear and to enjoy different fashions etc.

So thank you you now accept that what a female wears has no bearing on being attacked so what she wears makes no difference. Stop sexualising children.

I highly doubt a baby would be wearing that clothing, would they? So yes it’s very relevant, it’s proved my point that what you wear doesn’t stop abuse.

It is called inference and deduction. What is implied by saying they put themselves into situations.

What kids puts themselves into a situation with a rapist? The only situation that ends up with a child being attacked by a rapist is that the rapist chooses to attack. This is most likely in their own home.

You are spreading myths, victim blaming and preventing females from reporting all because you do not like a short skirt so want to say it encourages situations which is most certainly does not.

So answer me this - did I put myself into a situation to get raped when I was naked with my rapist?

Can you answer me? Who was to blame for my rape when I was naked with my rapist?

Guess who got blamed?

Obviously the rapist. If you actually tried listening to what I'm saying, you would already know that FFS.

I expect dc to respect themselves and dress appropriately for the occasion.

If as an adult they want to get their arse out in a seedy club or a similarly debauched place then that's fine. But getting arses out when people and young children are just going about their everyday lives is grim.

They also wear full swimming spf suits, hats and long loose linen sleeves in the heat or at the beach because skin cancer is no joke.

But clothing matters, right and I had none on so surely that was enticing him and showing my lack of boundaries, no?

I thought clothing mattered and showing your body? So now it doesn't matter? How come?

You said it was girls putting themselves into a situation. So do you think I put myself into a situation that caused me to get raped?

I seen 2 young girls walking through the shop i work in last week with frilly shorts that were showing half their bum cheeks. It looked like those pants babies used to wear over a nappy, frilly pants really. I was just like omg.
It must be in fashion i guess

Thank you! About time we finally agreed!

I never said we should turn a blind eye to society that sexualises children. I think we should hold them to account which is what I've said all along which you have ignored.

I also think that people who victim blame should be held to account even when they deflect.

How abhorrent to say someone is desperate to be victim when I hold you to your words that you said about victims when applied in a context you then again lay the blame at the victim's feet for holding victim blaming attitudes to account.

I think you need to stop making social issues about you.

We all have experiences that inform our beliefs and world views.

Do you want men drooling at your underage daughters arse? Ffs

I wonder if we live in the same seaside town. I saw a similar group outside the local comp last week, said to DH I wore minis in the 60s and I wonder if I was showing that much bum. Wouldn't dream of doing it now with my old bum.

Yes, that's nice dear 🙄