DH and the washing machine

[recklessgran]

Just looking for some perspective on this as sometimes I think I'm going mad. We returned last night from a week's holiday - obviously with the usual dirty laundry and like most women I'm keen to crack on and get the laundry started and out on the line. This morning DH got the cases in from the car so I thought I'd get the first wash load on ahead of going out to get groceries for us as well as my demented mother to whom I would need to deliver said groceries.[Lives alone with a small care package] and obviously haven't seen her so would need to catch up and make sure she's O.K, etc
DH fully aware of this plan [and the fact that I always start the washing as soon as the cases are in from the car]. He was taking our dog out for a run whilst I cracked on with above jobs. No issue with that - usual routine. However the next thing I can hear the washing machine going so I asked DH what was in the washing machine. Dog towels he says. Dog towels says I? What? Now - today when I've got a case load of dirty holiday washing to do? Yes, you guessed it - all this hot weather and he decides to put a load of muddy dog towels on that he's been storing in his boot since the last wet weather so obviously not newly muddy or needed to be washed today or likely to be used imminently given the current heatwave. He does not understand why under the above circumstances I'm so cross that he has prioritised laundering the bloody dog towels. So, AIBU to be really cross with DH this morning as he seems to think so having just stormed out with said dog ? [So as not to drip feed he has form fror this kind of thing and often has his own agenda where it doesn't occur to him to consider anyone else's needs.]

You’re amazing x

i know, thanks for noticing.

I understand the urge to get holiday washing done and put away but that's just habit. It really won't matter if it has to wait a couple of hours or even a couple of days. It seems a very little thing to argue about.

I can see the OP's point, and I'm not exactly the best at getting washing done. I think what would annoy me is that the dog towels must have been festering in the car since before they went away so why are they suddenly so urgent today? If the same routine is followed every time they go on holiday you'd think her DH would know by now that she likes the washing done asap.

For those saying about getting it done when they get in, I'm usually completely knackered and it's often quite late when I got home from holidays. The very thought of sorting & putting a wash on, then wait for it to finish so I can get everything out & hang it up overnight, when all I can think of is my own bed, would be anathema to me. Not everyone has a washing machine that can be set to start by a timer, and mine just beeps louder and louder if you don't at least turn it off after a wash has finished. I could sort of understand if you came home on a Sunday & had work on the Monday, and for some strange reason had taken all your work clothes on holiday, but otherwise one day isn't that much in the scheme of things

Sort the washing into colours etc. towels out and he can put the next lot in then hang the dog towels out. Simple (I hope)

I can't imagine being in a relationship that's so controlling you're not allowed to use the household appliances. How weird.

I never understand this tit for tat pettiness

I would prioritise human clothes over dog towels (or other linens) YANBU.
My DP is obsessed with emptying the laundry basket, to the extent that there could be three wet loads and not enough drying space.
i do as much as I can on a quick wash at 30C and often change the settings in a wash that DP has started.

@recklessgran YANBU - your DH was either thoughtless or lacks common sense - I'd be annoyed too OP. You had your day planned - break the back of the holiday washing, shopping, check in with mum, host friends - and your DH buggered up your plan from the get-go with a totally unimportant and non-urgent task. On the upside, the weather forecast for most of England (assuming this is where you are) for the next five days is HOT and dry, so chuck what you haven't got washed in the laundry basket, enjoy your friends' company and get the rest of the washing done tomorrow. 😃

you lost me at "like most women..." I'm afraid 🤢

It’s only washing. Unless they are the only clothes you own and your stood there naked waiting for them to be cleaned while your guest are imminent I think you need to get a grip tbh.
I can’t imagine getting home from a holiday and being pissed off by day one.

This would irritate me too - some men just don't have much common sense. He probably thought he was doing a good thing 😂

This is why I have 2 washing machines!!

I do all the washing in the house. In the winter when we’re drying things indoors (no tumble dryer) he used to put a washing on when I’d just hung one up. No room to hang his anywhere so would sit in the washing machine getting stale. Would drive me crazy so now the laundry is my job. Men never think ahead to the next step do they

I’m with you, this sort of thoughtlessness really gets to me, my husband does it all the time, today’s example being starting a long overdue, dusty, messy garden project when we ‘ve got visitors tomorrow. Wouldn’t mind so much but he walks away at the end leaving the mess, doesn’t see a problem 🙄

Husband probably saw the dirty towels caked in mud and thought “oh shit I best get these washed asap before they’re any worse”. And his awful sounding wife hates him for it and runs to mums net to slag him off.

Such an over reaction. He’s not a mind reader and you don’t own the washing machine. Your want to wash the holiday clothes doesn’t trump him wanting to wash the dog towels.
He put a wash on first, big deal.

“and like most women I'm keen to crack on and get the laundry started and out on the line.”
Well this is depressing.

Get a service wash and do other jobs when it’s getting done .
pick it up later washed and dried.

I don’t think it’s an overreaction. I see it as the straw that broke the camel’s back. It’s just thoughtless and more than likely, not the first time. What an idiot! I’d wash my own stuff and leave his to make a point. Chances are, he won’t do it again.

I am v amused by the idea most women want to crack on with the washing.. I didn’t get that lady gene.

I don’t think it’s a big deal but it does sound like he’s maybe getting away with quite light domestic duties? Maybe you have suppressed rage about that??

I hope you had a nice day with your guests

But do you also have 2 dishwashers??

Nor me. Do you think adults in relationships actually behave like this?

OMG I hope you had a double width patio built.

And you posted this on MN, Jesus Christ.

He can put next load on then.