Trying to cut a long story short. My sister has always been a single parent, the 2 different fathers to her children have never been involved and never assisted financially. My parents have taken a parental role with my sisters children but I can understand slightly why to support her with working etc. they bought a 2nd property to rent to her cheaper than the current market value.
i had 2 children with my partner, and he was my support network with life. We never had childcare or family support due to my parents putting all their time into my sister and her children. My children have lost out on a lot of family things due to this and don’t have a close relationship with my family. They’ve never been on days out with grandparents, yet watch their cousins do this all the time.
due to life stresses, myself and my children’s father separated last year. It was amicable break up to begin with but has become extremely toxic over the year when it came down to managing selling the family home etc. we were not married so I was not entitled to anything financially. I don’t think I slept for 4 months wondering how I would afford to put a roof over my children’s heads etc. but, in the end after a lot of work and stress I’ve managed to purchase a shared ownership property.
my parents went to see the property I am purchasing with me this week, being a new build I wanted other eyes! The entire time we were there, my dad was talking to the woman who I have been dealing with the purchase of the property, wondering how he would go about buying one for my sister. this went on for over an hour and I could barely get a word in to discuss my house - I exchanged back in November 2024 so this isn’t a potential purchase… this is my home.
to clarify, my parents have sat down and discussed with me this week they are wanting to give my sister £160,000 to buy the share of the property for her, so she won’t have a mortgage. And then her universal credit payments will cover her rent side. they have made it clear they cannot afford to do the same for me at this time, but my share will be left in the will.
they asked my opinion on this, and I expressed in 30 years time £160K won’t be worth as much. My sister has gained a mortgage free share of a house with rent paid by universal credit, while il be just getting by month by month. However, I also expressed it’s their money and they can do as they wish but as they’ve asked my opinion they can have it.
Deep down it’s not actually about the money. Last year when I was at rock bottom mentally, not one family member offered to help. I have managed everything completely alone financially and mentally. I’ve tried to express its hurt me when I was struggling, no one helped. Yet now “I’ve got my own place, my sister should have one”. I’ve worked all my life and saved and been good with money. My child’s father pays child maintenance - the bare minimum possible - and so he should! And my parents justify I don’t need help because I have my children’s father. My child’s father has run me down completely, reporting me to police, social services etc for no reason - I wouldn’t say he was my support!, but obviously my parents seem to think I’m lucky compared to my sister so I don’t need any help!
its such an awkward thing inheritance and money. I’ve given them my opinion and left it. But they have concluded I’m greedy and disgusting.
I guess while writing this, I now feel I sound awful! But there has always been favouritism in the family which I have grown up with. I’ve never benefited or expected anything, but when it’s constantly justified to me “you don’t need help” when actually last year I was the lowest possible and did need my family … it hurts!
if I was still in a relationship, and financially stable with a partner I completely understand why my parents would feel the need to help my sister more. I am in the same boat as her, but I’ve actually done something to sort my life and not relied on others to hand it to me on a plate so I don’t understand how they feel it’s fair?
am I being a completely spoilt brat in the matter? Or are my feelings of being hurt justified? I feel this is the icing on the cake for me and I need to take a massive step back from my family.