To be strict about piano practice

[ProcrastinatorsAnonymous]

My 7 year old has always loved music and is enthusiastic to start piano lessons soon. Practice is obviously key, but I'm aware it can feel like hard work at times. I had lessons as a child, and although I wanted to learn, my daily practice became a huge source of arguments in my household - my parents wanted me to get my 20 mins done the second I got through the front door, whereas I wanted to decompress. I gave up after Grade 2 and really regret it.

I'm wondering how best to negotiate this with my own children. There will inevitably be times when the enthusiasm wears off, it gets difficult, scales are boring and they don't want to practice. What's the best way to address this? I'm obviously not going to force them up to grade 8 if they're just not into it - but I do want them to give it a good go for a few years and at least become proficient at piano, as a foundation for trying other instruments.

• What time of day is best to practice? I'm thinking a set routine is going to be easier than negotiating each day when it will be done. Eg - in the morning before school (although this would be 8am and we have retired neighbours in a semi)? Or half an hour after getting in from school?
• Are there certain methods of learning that make it more fun? (Keeping up enthusiasm is more important to me than swift progress)
• Should I just say "Fair enough" if they don't want to practice some days? Or maybe say they need to practice 5 days per week, so they can play two "Not Today" cards? I'm really keen to avoid this being a source of tension.
• What are some good strategies for encouraging them to keep trying when it's hard?
• How long is reasonable to expect a 7 year old to practice?
• How do you know when a child is just in a bit of a funk with it and can be pulled out (as I think I was) versus when it's time to knock it on the head?

Any advice on any aspect of this much appreciated. Am I being too Tiger Mum? We don't generally force them to do things they're not into - it's just eldest is into this (at the outset at least) but I know it will become a chore at some point - and I really wish someone had made me keep going when I hit that block!

We do 10 minutes a day before school. My kids wake up at 6am though 😭
8am is fine for neighbour noise imo

DD is learning an instrument that I play but I work and DH is retired so we do 2-3 days with me, 2-3 with DH just checking she's done it and 2 days are ok to skip if it's a late night after an after school activity (she had 3 on Monday including her flute lesson and didn't get back till 9).

My DC learned violin and piano. Practice was every evening after dinner. It wasn’t negotiable. I used to sit with her, every single time, to encourage her.

I said 15 minutes 5 days a week. I think it's good to have 2 optional days off. Didn't set any fixed time or anything but just checked if done. It wasn't always, but as you rightly point out, fights would be counterproductive. I did remind every day - sometimes twice - but tried not to nag - and as my child got older they got more disciplined about fixing their own routine.

At a certain point (secondary?) if they are not motivated to keep up the discipline after having had it inculcated into them over a couple of years, I think it's time to have a break or let go.

It’s difficult, isn’t it. Do you have a piano or a keyboard? If you have a keyboard, headphones would sort any noise issues.

My dc is keen to do lessons. Occasionally she’s less keen to practice. I say that while she wants lessons, she has to practice at least 5 days a week. Sometimes it’s enough to suggest just 5 minutes of practice. That leads onto a longer session. Sometimes she practices for ten minutes , sometimes for considerably longer.

You could look at getting some piano books with music your dc would find fun to play. It can act as a motivator and something to practice if your dc doesn’t fancy to practice the homework pieces.

As for strategies when it gets hard, I always remind her that she had to learn to read once. And she had to keep going and keep working at it, but it was worthwhile. I also remind her of how far she’s come in piano- how 6 months ago she would have found X piece so tricky, but now it’s easy, so the same will happen with the new piece.

It’s early days for us and I dont have all the answers. I’m hoping she sticks with it. I just keep being enthusiastic and her biggest cheerleader. So far I’m lucky as she loves piano and recently she has been very keen to practice. I hope your child enjoys it too.

PS are you being too Tiger Mum - no - music requires regular practice and they can't know that at their age so you have to instil it - it's just finding the right balance between developing a habit and putting pressure.

My parents never forced me to practice and play the piano - I had classes once a week but if I didn’t feel like it they wouldn’t take me. Same for every art or sports I ever started - now I am an adult with no skills or hobbies despite the opportunities I had. I wish they were stricter and I certainly will be with my children.

I have two dc at post grade 8 (one wants to be a professional pianist).

I think daily practice is essential if they are going to get to the point it is enjoyable. That said, not all of it has to be focussed practice, scales and so on don't require always all their attention and so can be done while watching something on youtube or listening to a podcast.

But ultimately, they have to love it or there's no point. I would set a minimum they have to do every day, and if you find after a while that they never do more than that and that doing that is a struggle, you are wasting everyone's time and your money by insisting they carry on.

I was forced to practice.

I don’t force my DD to practice. (She’s 14 and will sit grade 6 soon. She spends time between grades actually playing, as in experimenting etc.)

We spent time with Tim Minchin a couple of years ago who didn’t have formal lessons after 12 and can’t read music and it doesn’t seem to have set him back. He told DD never to practice, only to play. He’s right.

if you want your child to love music, take the pressure off.

I was forced and I absolutely hated it and it led to me and my mum having huge rows, it needs to be enjoyable it’s a hobby!! Why does he need to do it every day! That’s mental. A few times a week is fine he is only seven, he isn’t Elton John about to go on tour

As a total novice learning from YouTube I would suggest 10 mins practice of scales and such and 10 mins trying to learn something they really want to. Either way round to mix it up. I can't be arsed learning scales and such but have watched and watched and watched videos and can now competently play 3 pieces of video game music that I enjoy listening to. Try and catch them at a time they are relaxed ie after dinner, that's when I find I'm at my most adept.
I appreciate my set up is radically different but even if they give it up its never too late to pick it up again

It made a huge difference to my DD’s progress if I sat with her when she practised. Think we did 5 days a week. And the more she saw progress the happier she was to practise

My son plays the drums which means that practice can be difficult around long days with before and after school clubs as for the neighbour’s sake we say not before 9:30 or after 7pm. But he does have to practice for a minimum of an hour a week. How he splits that up is up to him. He normally chooses to do 4 15-20min sessions. His teacher always knows if he’s practiced less than that.

Well my dd is about to go do grade 3 and I've never ever forced her, asked her or made it all chore.

Grade 1 after initial grade 1 I booked it to soon and offered her money to practise. Also we had a key board left out where she sat and because she didn't have to go and sit in a special place she tinkered where she was... Watching TV playing and so on.

She really kicked back for a while but goes regularly now like a habit.
If she's got her grades mostly through lessons only now, I'll pay her to get to grade 5

I hate the idea of forcing make it fun or bribe

You could try those apps to make it more fun?? And music she likes. Playing classical was the killer for me as a kid. But thinking of it now id like to get back into it playing music i enjoy

I was forced to play an instrument I hated and had to practice every day. At 18 I was actually very good but I stopped on my 18th birthday and never played again. I’m now 52 however with my children I wanted them to learn an instrument one gave up at 13 when he said that he mimed through the last concert. He also didn’t practice in between lessons, but I wasn’t going to force him. He really needed to work out that for himself. However, my daughter has two instruments a grade 8 and beyond. She practised from an early age. Every day or so, but I agree with sentiment above that she wasn’t necessarily practising what she’d learn in her lessons it was more being on both instruments and enjoying them and increasing her confidence. Then when she was in her early teens. Then she understood the need to practice properly in order to get better and excel.

This.

I’ve never made ds1 practice, he started at 7, and for a few months I’d tell him when good times were to practice. But nothing after the prep test.

hes 16 and just finished grade 8 while doing his GCSE’s. It has to come from them.

No, sorry. If you want to be serious pianist you need to practice. I’m not saying every child wants or needs to be a serious pianist. But if they do they do need to practice.

It very much depends on the child but you need to create an environment in which she is firmly encouraged to practice regularly. I’m a piano teacher. For my 7 year old beginners I recommend 5 mins a day on 5 days a week. Those young children who have parents who support this and encourage a discipline about it make much more consistent progress. Now, I’m not saying every child has to be a professional pianist, but the better they get the more fulfilling they will find it. Some children will practice independently but it is quite rare.

Also: Discipline over motivation.

my kids learned piano but I never made them practice. I was made to as a child and it was miserable.

They are now 19 and 15. The oldest is at uni studying electronic music and the youngest is doing GSSC music tech.

They both appreciated their piano lessons, however if it had been a chore, I think it would have put them off music for life

I had piano lessons but all I wanted to be able to do was knock out a tune. Eventually I got sick of it as it was so tedious.

Two of my kids are musicians, both self taught from 13 when they first picked up an instrument. One then had a year of lessons, the other didn't
My third is also self taught so far.

I think learning an instrument is great and saw my kids making huge leaps in other areas as soon as they picked up an instrument. There's no rush though.

I didn't force my children to practice. One gave up after a couple of years. One reached grade 6 and stopped taking grades, but he still plays and is in a jazz band at uni. The third is 15 and working towards grade 7 in two instruments.

15 minutes, 4 or 5 times per week should be enough to start (perhaps aim for 5, but be happy with 4), and can be built up gradually from there. Practising is a skill, and isn't often taught well: I was a post-grad (in music) before I learned how to do it well!

A few pointers:
-- start and finish with something they can do well. Once they've learned a few pieces, finish with a wee performance of a favourite.
-- learn new things in sections. After the beginning, it helps to learn the last section first, and go backwards. That way, they can always play the piece to the end!
-- don't play faster than you can be accurate, and don't just mindlessly repeat something and hope the mistakes will go away on their own. Repeating mistakes means you are learning the mistakes!

Same here - all the joy was sucked out of it and l gave up as soon as l could