To be strict about piano practice

[ProcrastinatorsAnonymous]

My 7 year old has always loved music and is enthusiastic to start piano lessons soon. Practice is obviously key, but I'm aware it can feel like hard work at times. I had lessons as a child, and although I wanted to learn, my daily practice became a huge source of arguments in my household - my parents wanted me to get my 20 mins done the second I got through the front door, whereas I wanted to decompress. I gave up after Grade 2 and really regret it.

I'm wondering how best to negotiate this with my own children. There will inevitably be times when the enthusiasm wears off, it gets difficult, scales are boring and they don't want to practice. What's the best way to address this? I'm obviously not going to force them up to grade 8 if they're just not into it - but I do want them to give it a good go for a few years and at least become proficient at piano, as a foundation for trying other instruments.

• What time of day is best to practice? I'm thinking a set routine is going to be easier than negotiating each day when it will be done. Eg - in the morning before school (although this would be 8am and we have retired neighbours in a semi)? Or half an hour after getting in from school?
• Are there certain methods of learning that make it more fun? (Keeping up enthusiasm is more important to me than swift progress)
• Should I just say "Fair enough" if they don't want to practice some days? Or maybe say they need to practice 5 days per week, so they can play two "Not Today" cards? I'm really keen to avoid this being a source of tension.
• What are some good strategies for encouraging them to keep trying when it's hard?
• How long is reasonable to expect a 7 year old to practice?
• How do you know when a child is just in a bit of a funk with it and can be pulled out (as I think I was) versus when it's time to knock it on the head?

Any advice on any aspect of this much appreciated. Am I being too Tiger Mum? We don't generally force them to do things they're not into - it's just eldest is into this (at the outset at least) but I know it will become a chore at some point - and I really wish someone had made me keep going when I hit that block!

Ds plays the violin. He has lessons at school and so always has homework. He practices at least 4 times a week. We always supervise. His favourite bit is the "quiz" where he tries to figure out how to play music he likes and we have to guess what it is. Now that he realises he's not just limited to the book or needing music in front of him, he's a lot more enthusiastic towards learning.

@Whyx I followed your thinking my dd wouldn't have got as far as she has.

Absolutely this. My DD plays the flute and has had three teachers over the past few years; they’ve all taught differently. The latest has been a cut above the others; the difference in just a couple of weeks of having lessons with her was incredible thanks to a technique she has taught her, which the others hadn’t. She happily performs on stage at school shows and sounds great.

And has just won an award for musical excellence at high school…

She practices once or twice a week at most! She enjoys playing - it was her choice to learn and still is - so I’d hate for it to become a chore.

At home she’ll go through the songs she’s learning for her exams, but she also has a book of songs from her favourite musical which she truly enjoys playing - the teacher has encouraged this, and this is what will keep her playing into the future - playing songs she loves for enjoyment.

I think it all depends on the level you want your DC to reach. I went to specialist music school (not in the UK) and had to practice at least 1.5-2 hours a day during the week and more at the weekend/holidays/etc. But that was with the aim to reach the level of a professional.

So for someone who treats it just as a hobby, it would be better to do an hour three times a week than 10-minute practice every day. 10 mins is literally nothing, you can barely warm up with scales in that time. And make sure that the teacher pays attention to the correct hand positioning as there are so many kids not being corrected when their wrists mercilessly hang down causing strain and limiting hand movements. “Apple in hand!” as my piano teacher used to say 😂

My dad taught at a conservatoire. His party trick with new students was to tell them what instruments they played without them saying a word. Every one was misformed in some way according to the instrument they spent hours on day in day out.

Did you go on to be a professional @BananaPalm ?

I think an hour in one go would be too much to expect from my 7 year old. Definitely not aiming for professional musicianship - unless he develops a real passion for it, in which case the drive would come from him anyway.

My mother ruined my enjoyment of the piano. I couldn't have even a few minutes playing for pleasure without an onslaught of comments about practicing. It ruined it for me and I don't think I'll ever play again.

Lucky you, he’s a genius!

I have a token box. 10 minutes of practice gets a token. Tokens can be exchanged for time on a tablet.

My kids started piano 3 years ago aged 6 and 11 (now 9 and 14). I encourage practice but never force. I also chose a teacher who is encouraging.

The 14 year old has completed grade 5 on another instrument (started aged 9), and although he has never practiced the piano much initially, he can now play grade 5 pieces, although I've always said that grades are optional and it's up to him. I suspect he will opt to do a grade next year.

Oddly he's now preferring piano over his other instrument as he doesn't enjoy having to do the grades so much and it's taken the enjoyment out of it.

You mention learning piano as a foundation for learning other instruments… It’s possible to learn other instruments without learning piano.

I took Grade 8 in oboe as a teenager and we got a piano the year before I took that when I was around 14 or 15. I didn’t have piano lessons until I was in my 30s when I took a couple years and got to Grade 5 standard - but before that I just played for the fun of it. I’m not sure how or why learning piano beforehand would have helped with the oboe which I really wanted to play from when I was 9 or 10 as I wanted to do an instrument that was a bit unusual.

Learning piano can be great but it’s not necessarily the gateway to other instruments it’s just another instrument at the end of the day.

Yep, if you’re not aiming for a professional level then pretty much anything is fine. At 7yo I was doing an hour a day as a bare minimum, plus extra lessons with a second tutor. I couldn’t go on holiday unless there was a piano nearby we could rent out (portable electronic keyboards were not acceptable) 😬

But just wanted to add, pay attention to not only your DC’s passion but also to their talent. If you can’t see (objectively!) a raw talent, an exceptional skill and ability, I wouldn’t push for anything beyond a hobby level. Piano (like any art) does require actual, visible and exceptional talent to have any chance of making it as a true pianist. Not just someone who can play the piano. You either have it or not. Practice will obviously help to make it evident but you can’t “practice it out”. I’ve seen so many of my friends being pushed and pushed but they were just good at the technique. Only a few of them had real, proper talent. I stopped after over 10 years of playing and learning this way, which included a stint in a recording studio, as I realised my talent compared to theirs was not enough to make it professionally. So for my DS (3yo), if he’s ever interested, unless he shows exceptional talent, piano will be just a nice hobby to have (if at all). No pressure, just curious exploration.

A couple of different music teachers have advised me it's a good place to start - the way you can see the notes laid out before you and the fact it doesn't require co-ordinated breathing (a potential issue for my son)