To despise picky eaters?

[Brownoliveskincurlyblackhair]

If you have an allergy or religious reasons not to eat something, fine obviously but grown adults who 'don't eat' something absolutely irk me beyond words. My MIL looked horrified earlier when I said I was making chicken as a part of a weekend spread because SIL 'doesn't eat it'. I have accommodated for SIL but honestly, I was bought up that you get what you're given and eat what's infront of you. It's terrible manners is it not?

Yabu - hosts should cater for preferences
Yanbu - it's rude

Well luckily I don't live in Ethiopia so that's a proper piece of whatabouterry. But I reckon I would be fine in Ethiopia as the food would be natural, not processed faux butter.

I don't understand why it is an issue if someone doesn't like certain foods? I do have a daughter with ARFID, which is a difficult thing and I can't imagine it's something you grow out of. Most of my friends are ND like me, I have dislikes around textures and tastes. But I eat lots of different things, and I always thought it was polite to ask people in advance of cooking if there are any foods that they can't or won't eat, as I wouldn't want to serve something that they hated. A spread would be different though, as there should be something for everyone.

At least 20 million people are starving in Ethiopia.
That's not whatabouterry, that's fact.

So you maybe wouldn't be fine there and could possibly manage to eat a bit of processed faux butter, if offered?

Come back and let us know what happened at the get-together @Brownoliveskincurlyblackhair.

As it was a spread, my guess is that your SIL ate other dishes and avoided the chicken.

So it has to be an allergy/illness or religious reasons??? I don’t eat garlic because I once got food poisoning after being forced to eat something with it in (by my parents) the thought of it makes me want to vomit now, my DH hates beetroot because his brother used to eat so much it made his pee smell and change colour, it traumatised my DH as a young child, he’s tried many times but eating the stuff turns his stomach. During my childhood age 4/5 I was exposed to a violent traumatic experience, the smell of a specific regularly common popular British food takes me back to that terrifying moment in time, I’ve lost track of the amount of times I’ve been mocked and had the food wafted in front of me because “I don’t like it” people think it’s funny I feel queasy and sick by it, I ended up seeking help, which was what brought the memory back. Now my response to people who can’t accept other peoples food choices is FUCK OFF! No one needs to justify why they don’t like something and they should never be made to feel bad for it, what ever their reasons are!

Glad you sought the help that you needed. I do hope you feel better nowadays.

In OP's case though, the SIL has always previously eaten chicken but even so, there was a spread so she had a choice.

I haven't eaten offal in forty years and I'm not a fan of swede.

My MIL, knowing this, once cooked oxtail and giant cubes of boiled swede. My DH eats most things but wasn't a fan of either. MIL got upset about fussy eaters.

I think it's polite to accommodate guests if possible and not unreasonable. Not eating chicken gives you a huge number of alternatives.

I also have a DC who has ended up in hospital because people have dismissed his allergies as him being fussy or not real allergies. Some of them are getting so bad he will need to start carrying an epi-pen. This wouldn't have happened if people didn't feel they know best or that a small amount won't hurt.

Insensitive as in not repulsed and scared by flavours and textures. People with ARFID often have an overactive sense of taste and smell. They are sensitive to it.

@Petitchat re: your Ethiopia comment. I was told to just not give in and feed my son what we ate and that was that. ‘If he’s hungry enough he will eat’.

except he didn’t, and because I’d removed his safe foods those also became unsafe and he stopped eating altogether. He lost 5lbs in 2 weeks, which when you’re a 6 year old the same weight as your 2 year old sibling is not weight you can afford to lose. I pray you’ve never watched your child scream as they placed a feeding tube into him. It took over a year of intensive food therapy to get his weight back up. So frankly, you can take your whataboutery and shove it.

Honestly, reading through this thread, I do wonder if this is another situation (food) where many NTs refuse to accept NDs experiences and differences, and just go “either you are like us or you are WRONG”.

@Brownoliveskincurlyblackhair Do you eat everything? Are you sure you are not a just a naive picky eater? Would you eat grilled spiders, chickens' feet, pig brain, duck blood pudding with packchoi, duck's tongue, "hundred year old egg" etc etc

How awful! I remember people saying “she’ll eat when she’s hungry” about DD and no, no she absolutely would not. It’s not a choice when a phobia is that strong for someone.

A "spread" makes me think of a buffet type do where everyone helps themselves.
So you would be providing other things not just chicken....?
Just because your sil doesn't eat it...doesn't mean that the other guests should do without ? Surely there will be other food that she will like..

well said.

YABU.

AFRID and all the other beige diets where kids will only eat 'safe' foods is such a western problem.

Do you reckon the starving kids in Africa and India are turning food away?

I understand the meaning of the word insensitive I am aware that it can mean both feelings and physicsl sensation.

Last I looked I think it said up to 10% of the British population may have ARFID. That means a lot of the people who are "picky eaters" are this way not because of ARFID but for other reasons. (Just googled and it says between 1-12%)

If you want to spread awareness of ARFID you are better of explaining such matters and what it is about than to write a single comment like you did.

Like I said I am ok with people having some dislikes.

Do you feel this way about all medically recognised eating disorders?
I’m an adult with ARFID and I can tell you from experience that I’d genuinely rather starve than eat foods that aren’t on my safe list.

I’ve noticed that people find it really, really difficult to understand that someone has a genuine fear of food.
For most people food is a pleasurable experience and their day and the majority of social experiences revolve around it. I guess it’s difficult to comprehend not only a complete lack of interest in food but actual fear.

Sometimes posters seem to think that they're the only ones that have had serious issues. They think that because a poster says something they don't like, then they can't possibly understand.
And it becomes a competion.

So here's mine.
My autistic son was allergic to milk and used to projectile vomit. Doctors didn't recognise the milk allergy and kept sending him home, until he'd lost so much weight his cranium was skeletal.
To this day it's thought that he possibly suffered somr mild brain damage from the dehydration, which has added to his special needs.

Does that qualify me to have opinions on people who are fussy eaters?
And to mention Ethiopia?

If not, you can shove it too....

Unless you have an allergy which is acceptable I also get annoyed with picky eaters. My dad is picky like only certain brands he will eat, like why! All the same thing

Are eating disorders not acceptable?
Why do only allergies count?

Quite

It stops some social events and it's embarrassing - especially when you have attitudes like you read on here

I was forced to eat foods I didn't like as a child - to the point of sobbing and heaving

So it's hardly a shock that I can't bear them now

I never forced my children to eat anything and they have pretty broad tastes now

Often they're not

Just seen this thread, and my first thought was that the opposite is people who assume their guests will eat any old shit. It never ceases to amaze me how many different ways food can be ruined by needlessly mixing things in.

And I am not just talking informally. I was staying in a hotel once and on the Monday had a pasta meal from the menu. Quite acceptable. Then I dined out a couple of nights and on the last night decided to have the same. Only some "genius" had decided that their "twists" was to grate spring onion all over the dish.

Obviously I sent the abomination back which seemed to need an argument.

It was only relatively recently that I discovered I was a "supertaster", which explains a lot (but not everything 😀)

I once ordered a jacket potato and beans in a café and it came with coriander sprinkled all over it!
Not only was that really weird but coriander tastes like soap to me!