that this report card comment can be misconstrued

[cyclops123]

DD ( 12) got report card that says amongst other things

" Key for DD to succeed will be focusing on implementing healthy sleep
and nutrition."

What impressions do you form of the child and of the parent ?
FYI, DD gets fed properly at home. I can't control what she eats at school.
Also, involved in a nasty divorce.

Not necessarily true (that the school has zero knowledge). There are kids in my school who I know well enough now to be able to tell if they've slept well or not. When you see them day in day out you can spot when they are bright eyed and bushy tailed Vs when they are trying to fake it. Plus teacher will know about any conditions like insomnia as parents would have told the school as they will be aware of the impact on learning.
If a kid is falling asleep in class without the parents having informed the school of any medical issues then there probably is a lack of proper sleep going on

Is dd over or underweight? I can't think why else they would make a comment about nutrition unless she looks physically unwell, dark circles, swallow skin etc.

I’d worry more about that then than how it can be misconstrued.

Have they raised their concerns with you already @cyclops123 ? This should not have been left until the end of year report to come out.

Nothing shared in a school report should be a surprise.

Exactly this. They can’t be watching what every single child eats and taking notes? So that statement would annoy me.

If she’s falling asleep in class then you should have been made aware of that. We had a comment about DS being exhausted - well he’s a teenager that needs to get up at 6.45 to go to school to start at 8. Which goes completely against teenagers body clocks. Of course they’re tired.

This stuff annoys me as it’s a bit speculative and not evidence based.

The school senior leadership has been very supportive for which I am grateful for and I am the one who is notifying the school about some of DD's late nights.. She needs sleep at 9.30 pm , but 11 pm will make her super tired., and I also informed school that she's may be not buying the best nutritious food for lunch.

I appreciate the teacher's comments but just felt nutrition could be better qualified that its what she sees him eating at school.

Thanks to all for your perspectives.

I think that at 12 it’s not a comment about the food offered at home as it would be for a much younger child, it’s more about the choices the child makes to set themself up for learning - getting to sleep at a reasonable time, eating a healthy breakfast etc.

Can’t you ask your dd about what she snacks on and drinks at school?

There’s a supermarket near my kid’s school so I often see students buying high sugar drinks, sweets and biscuits etc on their way to and from school.

It’s a strange comment for a report- she could have an illness that makes it seem like her nutrition is poor and the teacher shouldn’t be jumping to conclusions about that.

I don't really see how it could be misconstrued, no.

If she's not eating healthy food at lunch at school who's responsibility is it to feed her at school? If she's eating school lunches then obviously that's their purview. If she doesn't eat school lunches then whoever is packing her lunch would be responsible.

You seem kind of nonchalant about the falling asleep in class; what exactly is causing that? You said you turn off the Wi-Fi so she shouldn't have access to the internet at night. Is she staying up all nigh

I am in a divorce, and my ex will jump on that line about nutrition to mean nutrition under me.

So basically you just wanted them to be clear they weren’t blaming you for the poor nutrition?

OP, your dd's teachers can only go on what they see.

If she is falling asleep in class, not eating her lunch. lacking energy and constantly poorly with no other reason, expressing concerns about her health and tiredness is reasonable.

Do you ensure all devices are downstairs or in your room on charge overnight, so she gets enough sleep? Does she eat a balanced diet? Avoid fizzy/caffeine drinks? Is she generally healthy or does she have a stream of coughs and colds? Is she significantly over or under weight?

I'd go back to the teacher, take a deep breath and ask her what are her specific concerns.

I have a super skinny ds. I was asked once whether he was eating properly. I provided details of his diet, pointed out that his red book tracked normal growth and that was the end of the conversation.

It's better than learning about an eating disorder after it has already caused harm

I wouldn't try to pick apart each aspect of the comment... instead I'd take it as an overall recommendation to focus on wellbeing and a healthy lifestyle.

No, I am not nochalant about the internet. She used the excuse of doing home work, and I don't have access to her homework account. Sometimes, she's on it till 11pm or even 12 and then I just take away the wifi router. No more internet for anyone. Whenever it is a late night, I send an email to the teacher to notify her that DD has slept late. The school asked DD to stop internet at a certain time regardless if homework is done.

So she’s sleeping in and being late ? That explains the comment

Falling asleep during the day and poor sleep at night can be linked to poor diet . It’s linked by blood sugar rises and crashes due to too many carbs etc. different people tolerate different amounts of carbs.

But - for example - if they see her eating sweets and bouncing around and then crashing asleep they may feel her diet in school is poor - and they won’t know what goes on at home.

My advice is to contact them and work with them. Ultimately you all want the best for DD and DD may try harder if she knows all the adults are singing from the same hymn book.

If the teacher sees her making poor choices of food at school, then that makes sense...the comment didn't pass judgement on you did it or suggest she eats poorly at home.

Yes, focus on well being and health. I get it . May be she felt my DD needed to see it in written form.

Sorry OP but you seem pretty nonchalant about your 12 year old stay up until midnight ok screens on a school night and falling asleep in class. This isn’t okay nor is it acceptable. And then like it’s okay you email the teacher when your kid sleep late - because they eill be tired (so you already know this) or your kid will be late for school (which isn’t okay).

Don’t blame the comment or report - spend your energy on getting your kid to bed at a good time and making sure they are healthy.

Why can't you control what she eats at school? Is she on free school meals?

If not then send her in with a packed lunch and don't put money on her account. We had to stop letting DS eat at school as all he would eat was pizza and chips. He's 14 and now only ever takes a packed lunch as he wouldn't eat any of the healthy options at school. He could buy food from the shop on the way to school but doesn't get a huge amount of pocket money so that wouldn't be much if he did that.

Is she maybe having a bit of an afternoon slump at school if she's not being eating particularly well at lunch?

I actually think I would ask to meet eith thr school to discuss it. I would be really affronted but also concerned that the achool are picking up things that I am not.
Maybe eating crap all day, or nothing at all, sleeping in class, why. I would ask to meet eith them and try to figure out what propelled them to write this?

Or it's just a standard line they are chucking in reports

That she is borderline neglected. Teacher may be laying it on a bit thick but good for them. Food and sleep is pretty basic stuff.

My 11 year old has everything off and is settling for bed between 9 and 10 depending on what is going on that night

He doesnt have to get up until 7.30 either and hes still tired.
11 or 12 is really late.