To want to tell the local addict to step away from the kids?

[dilemmaemmaemma]

There was a classic multi substance addict hanging out in the park yesterday. Can of cheap beer in hand, gaunt, toothless, incoherently chatting to themself, I don't know their name, so let's just call them LA. LA had a speaker playing fairly loud music, and my 3 year old and her friend went over and started dancing to the music and running rings around LA. LA seemed to genuinely be enjoying the fact the kids were enjoying the music, so it was kind of harmonious. Me and the other mum kept trying to tell the kids this wasn't the right person to play with, but they kept running over. Eventually I went over with the kids and I really didn't feel comfortable getting too close to LA, and didn't want to strike up conversation because they were just to in their own world and I didn't know what would happen if I tried to chat. So I told the kids we were going to play musical statues and took them back to where the other mum was and played a game with them there and that kept them from running back to LA. I genuinely wanted to have a word with LA to say I don't want my kid playing with a stranger who is clearly not sober and could they listen to their music elsewhere. Am I being unreasonable? And what could I have done differently to keep the kids safe and not be a jerk in front of LA?

"People without children shouldn't be in fenced play areas imo"

They weren't.

A troubled person minding their own business has two random children run up to him and dance and play around him and you want to moderate his behaviour?

Just call your children back or if too young to understand, go and get them and lead them away.

So you know this person well enough to describe them as the "local, multi substance addict" yet don't know whether they are male or female?

Ok then....

Of course it isn't wise to let this kind of interaction carry on because of unpredictable behaviour and obviously you know nothing about the stranger but it's likely the person was just enjoying interacting with children the way most people enjoy interaction with children.

Oh FFS, you were very clear that LA was simply sitting playing their music and it was your kids that approached them repeatedly. Suddenly we have you (and a few others) deciding this is predatory behaviour and he's trying to groom your 3 year olds!!!!

MN continues to demonstrate the insanity of some of the population.

Surely it's up to you to make sure your children do as they're told? If my children didn't do as they were told we left the park.

YABU

ummm you could have moved further along?

You could actually parent . Give them a warning of going home for not listening and then pick them up and take them home for not listening.

Firstly to put aside the fact you allege he's an addict.

But he was playing music in the park, minding his own business, and nothing bad happened when your kids went over.

You were supervising them and it's up to you to just tell them not to bother the guy.

He hasn't got two heads, and hasn't done anything wrong.

The OP says that they started off in the kids playground.

and my 3 year old and her friend went over and started dancing to the music and running rings around LA

So, this happened in a public park, and LA did not approach the children, but your children ran off and approached them. What do you want LA to stop doing? Maybe be stop your kids from running off?

we repeatedly told the kids to stop going over to LA, and they ignored us

That’s for you to control as a parent, not a random in a park to control for you.

Truly staggering.

Then chalk it up as one of the myriad random one-offs you'll have as part of your childrearing journey, shrug and move on.

If you didn't like the experience, go elsewhere or take more control of your child.

Is there not a restriction in the playground? I.e. children under 11 or 12 and parents of playing children only?

If not, there ought to be.

I understand in terms of not wanting your child around someone under the influence of drugs/alcohol but yabu to try and say he can't be somewhere when he's not causing harm to anyone, I think he was very kind to your children when they approached him. You control what you do, not what others do. If you didn't want your child there with him and your child wasn't listening to your instructions you should have took them elsewhere. I also think the way you've spoke about him is quite unkind op, him being "gaunt" and "toothless" shouldn't be part of the issue you have so didn't need mentioning, remember just because he's made bad choices doesn't mean he's a bad person so he doesn't deserve you speaking in a degrading way about him.

lol

how lovely that your children don’t show the prejudice you do OP

LA is no more likely to do something to your children than respectable uncle Bob.

ps watch out for uncle Bob

Wow you really are a nasty, judgemental piece of work!

Having worked with people with drug problems for many, many years, I'd rather have my children around someone who was happily playing music and whose company your children were enjoying, than someone like you. You are the problem, not this gentleman! 😡

Was the person actually inside a fenced playground? If so then yes 100% you would be fine to ask them to leave.

If they were outside the playground or just in the vicinity of a playground then no they are entitled to be there too.

I really doubt he was. The original post said 'park'. It was only when OP didn't like some of the responses that it became 'in the playground'

That was a drip feed. Not mentioned in the OP where it was stated that he was in 'the park'

No, it doesn’t matter but this is a forum where people are asked for and share their opinions… so I did. It literally doesn’t matter what anyone here thinks of the OP’s scenario.

I’m not sure why my opinion has offended you so much, presumably because you’re someone who plays music with little regard for those around you.

@AndImBrit nope wrong assumption

Were they actually in the playground or just in the park?

I’d trust your instincts, OP. If you felt this man was inappropriately encouraging the kids to hang out with him, it’s smart to remove your children from him.

some of the #bekind responses here seem woefully naive.