My neighbour allows kids to play at her house

[Eolhc1990]

OK so I feel like a bit of an @ssh0le here but this is driving me crazy. Last year I moved into a new house with my husband and DC (now 6 and 3) we live on a small quiet road with only a few houses. There are kids under 8 in 5 of those houses. We have front gardens but the kids that are 7/8 years old play on the street riding bikes/scooters etc and they can be loud which is a bit annoying but its kids what can you do. Anyway one of the other families is a lady with a 5 year old child and a baby. Because her child is too young to play on the road she will let the older neighbour kids play in her front garden, she will set up a table with play doh or paint or today a splash pad! and the kids will play there for a few hours while she sits and watches.... my problem is now everytime I try to bring my kids in from creche I'm getting pestered by them to go over there.
She always invites them and is a very sweet lady but by the time my kids are home it's 6pm and I just want to get them in and into the bath etc.
With the recent warm weather this is EVERY evening im dreading this evening because il have to face a meltdown if i say no to them playing on the splashpad with the other kids and I just think its a lot. Im sure the other parents think this is great they can just leave their kids over there but for me it's a nightmare we are not really playdate house at the best of times. I prob need to get over it but just needed to vent. I feel like asking her can she get the kids to hide when I come home from work

I got my 2.5 year old up to see snow once. She had absolutely no memory of it the next day- presumably wasn’t really awake!

You're calling kids feral for being outside at 7pm. Meanwhile your kids are in childcare until 5.30pm every day. I'd stop judging and look at what you aren't happy with in YOUR life set up.

But you're making it all about you and what you want. Children playing together outside of a structured/timetabled environment isn't being 'feral' (odd word choice), it's normal. It sound like your upbringing has really affected you. Childhood shouldn't all be about being hothoused for adulthood, kids need to have fun (even - gasp! - unstructured/unplanned fun, sometimes). It doesn't sound like there is much time in your schedule for them to simply be kids. Personally I think that's a shame.

Can I move in next to you?!! Sounds brilliant

Playing in a garden in early evening in the (rare) sunny summer days is not being "feral" come on now 🤣

Your eldest is 6, his school day is mostly sitting, following instructions, it's hardly wild days.

Look you're obviously not gonna budge in any way here so whatever. Your kids apparently don't need to get to know neighbourhood kids or go to other houses or have friends over to their house. They'll be perfectly happy with a strict routine and no deviations.

Because, from the tone of your posts, it clearly left you absolutely full of joy... As long as the ice cream man doesn't dare drive past.

Children having a different routine to your children doesn't make them feral.

and mine are bath 6pm, bed 7pm with very few exceptions.

Honestly you are the odd one .

🤣🤣🤣🫠

OP stop trying to be the victim.

So just to be clear because you can’t or won’t parent your children you are blaming a lovely well meaning neighbour?

You said it was annoying kids were scooting and biking around on the street. You clearly only like things the way you like them. So move if you don’t like it cause that’s the street.

Also who bathes their six year old at 6:30 for bed at seven. Sounds like this is more about you getting your kids to bed early.

Wrong. You can’t guarantee because you can only see this from your own annoyed perspective. You talk in absolutes like everyone would agree with you. The huge majority don’t. And for thr record, we had this on our street when my kids were younger and I loved it. So did my kids. They talk fondly of it even know years later. Get a grip.

It is really nice. I never wanted to move here from my busy town but I wouldn’t trade it now!

We help each other with childcare, school runs, clothes get handed down.

When my DH was diagnosed with cancer I had food and shopping done, and lifts to the hospital were frequent. I’m lucky.

lol yes! And we watch storms from the front door step too!

Feral, fuck’s sake. 😅 Don’t be such a twat OP. It’s not your neighbour’s fault you’re a stick in the mud. Get a backbone and tell your kids they can’t always get what they want.

Hardly family time in the evening if you pack them straight off to bath then bed ! Which is what you stated .
my 3 year old was enjoying the garden after dinner till 7.15 then went inside and played a bit more till bed (which is more flexible on these lighter evenings)
let them enjoy the light mild evenings whilst they last. I love seeing my little one outside after a long dark winter. We’ve been so lucky this year I don’t want to waste it in case the drizzle returns !

Don’t be so uptight and mean.
They’re only kids for a very short time.
Your DCs will remember you as strict and stuffy if you’re not careful.

Gosh how entitled. You’ll accept hospitality (ie other people’s effort and kindness) but won’t reciprocate because you’re “not s playdate house”? I despise takers.

so despite everyone thinking that my kids need to be feral to have a good childhood me and my husband both think that evening times should be family time

You know deep down you're wronging your children. This statement about 'feral' children is so telling. You're desperately lashing out at people because you know your attitude isn't healthy. You can't cage children in.

I can't understand your viewpoint, when my kids were little we lived in a cul de sac and all the parents with kids of the same age would open up their houses and gardens, i had kids in and out all day at weekends or after school, was brilliant for them, kept them amused, active and off screens. The more friends the better! They're late teens now, both at university, did great at school so I don't think being 'feral' was an issue at all.

I think you have issues. Your childhood sounds awful, devoid of normal playtime, any childhood programmes and time with family. Your children spend 5 days a week at school, nursery then home at 6pm and bed at 7pm. Why are you so rigid? Why were your parents strict, cold people who wanted you packed off to bed and no sitting together or watch a family film? I loved sitting with my parents, watch a Disney on vhs, Saturday morning cartoons and cuddles on the settee. You seem uptight and perhaps have unresolved issues from your childhood. What if the 6 and 3yo went to bed at 7.30pm and could have some playtime in the Summer. You say evenings are family time. Where? Those poor little ones of yours hardly see you, in childcare until after 5pm and then food, dinner and in bed within an hour of hometime. That is NOT family time. The neighbour sounds really nice and the kids have a safe place to play and make friends. Your 2 are going to grow up hating how you barely see them, no playtime and not even let them stay up.longer on a Friday night with no school the next day. What a horrible childhood.

Feral 😂😂😂
I would be willing to bet its not the feral paper mache making kids with the airy fairy mum that end up rebelling in a big way.

You don't have to change your rigid routine, but you don't get to dictate that every one else adheres to it.

7.30/8 isn't exactly 2am🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

FFS

Oh dear god, you really are tightly strung.

And I would also bet that airy fairy mum is the one who's grown up children and grandchildren enjoy visiting and spending time with her

You might think it's wonderful bonding 'family time' but your kids would rather be having fun with the other kids.

Great, you made them miserable for 30 minutes, bet that was fun bonding family time.

Yep!