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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why people fuck about so much?

510 replies

comeandhaveteawithme · 23/06/2025 14:40

My local skip is a very busy place. There is often a huge queue of cars and once you are in the queue, you absolutely cannot leave, there is no way of driving out of it or turning around due to the way it's structured. You're going through the skip, and that's that.

Today, I was in the queue of doom and a worker walked along the line of cars and told everyone that they just needed to use the crusher before they could let anyone through and to do that, they needed to wait until the cars already parked up and using the skips, had all left, then they could use the crusher and start letting people in again. It was my lunchbreak so I was in a bit of a rush, but nothing I could do.

But watching the people already using the skip was so irritating. They knew there was a line of approximately 20-30 cars waiting, they knew no one else could enter until every car had gone, but they all sauntered back and forth with their stuff from their boots, they stopped and chatted to one another, one guy had a quick cigarette before getting in his car, another sat in the drivers seat and did something on his phone before slowly putting on his seatbelt and leaving...

I just cannot understand people who are so incredibly slow and insist on doing unnecessary things in busy places where people are clearly waiting to use the thing they are using.

The other day, a waitress bringing our food to out table stopped mid-way and chatted to a customer she knew, while holding our plates of food, letting them get cold - why? talk on the way back if you must!

And the amount of people I see letting their toddlers use their debit cards to pay while smiling indulgently as the kids drops the card or taps it wrong with a queue of people waiting, or who stand at the till transferring money, or ask the bus driver an endless series of questions with a whole busload of people waiting, plus the 50 cars behind the bus....

If you are one of these people who fuck about, why? and are you also irritated by the fucking about or am I just far too angry?

OP posts:
stayathomer · 23/06/2025 18:54

I’m quick at the dump because it’s on the way to collect the kids but I get it- it’s a load off to get it done so I’d guess people are just in that chilled content space and forget the world has to move on. I get why you’re pissed off especially as you had such limited time but you asked were you too angry and you do seem a bit (sorry!)

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 23/06/2025 18:57

ThomasShelbysfagend · 23/06/2025 15:23

When people get to the till then it’s an utter surprise to them that they need to get a card out to pay. Then ensues a delve in bags and pockets looking for it.
Then… after paying, faffing and fanying around putting the card back into the purse, back into the bag, zipping the bag up carefully… then packing the shopping…
Dear God!!

Ohhh, this is so my peeve. Why, just why?
I swear some people do this on purpose cos they have all the time in the world.

FOJN · 23/06/2025 19:08

nonamehere · 23/06/2025 17:47

This is a genuine question...so if you get your card out as soon as you've finished loading, where do you then put it to free up your hands to load the shopping after it's scanned? I'm very quick at finding my card in my bag after scanning, but according to previous posters, waiting until then is too slow.

I stop before the queue and put my card in my pocket. After I've paid I put it back in my pocket, move out of the way to let the next person start packing and then put my card back in my purse.

mambojambodothetango · 23/06/2025 19:09

I am not a tolerant, patient person but none of your examples would especially infuriate me unless I was already feeling tense and in a bad mood. I guess the people already parked up at the tip didn't know you all had to wait for them to leave. The waitress isn't a robot and probably saw an old friend. I think these examples just indicate that you were stressed and looking to blame everyone else. Some of the other examples I completely agree with though, especially petrol stations.

tulippa · 23/06/2025 19:12

comeandhaveteawithme · 23/06/2025 18:38

What was he DOING when you tapped on the window?! sitting staring into space? on his phone? I need to know what these people do.

He was just faffing. Putting his receipt away, checking his bag etc.

Workingonthehighway · 23/06/2025 19:13

I was once waiting in a huge queue at the petrol station, the guy in front of me went to pay. Got back to his car and his absolute areshole of a girlfriend locked the doors then pretended to open them again then locked whilst laughing and thinking she was hilarious and so cute.
I was furious I beeped and shouted she opened the doors pronto and tbf he looked relieved.
I was incandescent with rage at the sheer selfishness of the girlfriend there was a queue of at least 5 cars at quite a small garage.

CopperWhite · 23/06/2025 19:15

You have a point about the waiters who stand about talking over food they should be delivering and about parents who think the whole world should wait so their toddler can tap a card, but I don’t agree about the tip situation.

People aren’t obliged to go faster than normal because there’s a queue and it’s not unusual for people to need to answer a text message or set up their sat nav after getting in a car and before driving off. I couldn’t even complain about someone wanting a cigarette before a car journey, but then I smoke so it’s understandable to me.

Blame the tip queue system, not people just using the tip as normal.

Mumofnarnia · 23/06/2025 19:21

rubicustellitall · 23/06/2025 15:35

OP I am with you ...sunday drivers are my worst to encounter.. Derek and jean off for a mooch at a stately home or garden centre, pootling along at 20 mph and you know they are only going for coffee to get them out of the house. Get off the fking road...Every sunday, mix it up please folks go on a tuesday, but no tuesday they cut the lawn, couldn't possibly do both...hate hate hate it!

Yep this absolutely is one of my pet peeves. Along with those who do 25mph in a 30 zone and when it changes to 40mph, they speed up to 30! So they can see the signs and know they need to go faster, but still happy to tootle along under the speed limit with a long line of frustrated drivers behind them!

Another one is when you stop and pull in behind a parked car to let the driver coming the opposite way come through. And then after they see you stop, they also decide to stop, sit there and then flash you to go!!! Yeah thanks for the extra wear and tear on my gear box and clutch!! If I’d have known you was going to stop to let me through I wouldn’t have bothered stopping to let you through when you actually have the right of way and I don’t!!! Seriously don’t understand the mentality with drivers like that. If you have the right of way just fucking take it!! You might think you’re being ‘kind’ (by letting me through after I’ve already fucking stopped to let you go through) but you’re wasting my time!!! 😡

LadyMary50 · 23/06/2025 19:23

Ablondiebutagoody · 23/06/2025 15:07

Presumably at midday on a Monday they are mainly pensioners with all the time in the world. Although you would think they might want to make the most of what's left rather than fannying around at the tip. Or for there to always be 2 queuing for air in the petrol station at 8am.

Or maybe people on benefits with all the time in the world.Not everyone who doesn’t work is a pensioner.

Zebedee999 · 23/06/2025 19:27

comeandhaveteawithme · 23/06/2025 14:40

My local skip is a very busy place. There is often a huge queue of cars and once you are in the queue, you absolutely cannot leave, there is no way of driving out of it or turning around due to the way it's structured. You're going through the skip, and that's that.

Today, I was in the queue of doom and a worker walked along the line of cars and told everyone that they just needed to use the crusher before they could let anyone through and to do that, they needed to wait until the cars already parked up and using the skips, had all left, then they could use the crusher and start letting people in again. It was my lunchbreak so I was in a bit of a rush, but nothing I could do.

But watching the people already using the skip was so irritating. They knew there was a line of approximately 20-30 cars waiting, they knew no one else could enter until every car had gone, but they all sauntered back and forth with their stuff from their boots, they stopped and chatted to one another, one guy had a quick cigarette before getting in his car, another sat in the drivers seat and did something on his phone before slowly putting on his seatbelt and leaving...

I just cannot understand people who are so incredibly slow and insist on doing unnecessary things in busy places where people are clearly waiting to use the thing they are using.

The other day, a waitress bringing our food to out table stopped mid-way and chatted to a customer she knew, while holding our plates of food, letting them get cold - why? talk on the way back if you must!

And the amount of people I see letting their toddlers use their debit cards to pay while smiling indulgently as the kids drops the card or taps it wrong with a queue of people waiting, or who stand at the till transferring money, or ask the bus driver an endless series of questions with a whole busload of people waiting, plus the 50 cars behind the bus....

If you are one of these people who fuck about, why? and are you also irritated by the fucking about or am I just far too angry?

Agree. Same at petrol stations, get in your car and go. Why faff around? Why park at a pump if you're only using the shop?

limescale · 23/06/2025 19:33

Myblueclematis · 23/06/2025 18:04

I put it down on the till area right in front of me while I pack the stuff into the trolley. Once it's all loaded and they say how much, I pick the card up and put it on the card reader that's when they ask me if I want a receipt. Yes, I do.

Trolley packed so I can move away from the till area and put card and receipt into my purse without holding up the queue behind me.

I've perfected this system, they love me in Aldi as I don't hold up the queue. 😃

There’s no way I’d leave my card or phone there while I was using 2 hands to pack. It’s either in my hand, bag or zipped pocket.

Beautifulspringsunshine · 23/06/2025 19:40

Ablondiebutagoody · 23/06/2025 15:07

Presumably at midday on a Monday they are mainly pensioners with all the time in the world. Although you would think they might want to make the most of what's left rather than fannying around at the tip. Or for there to always be 2 queuing for air in the petrol station at 8am.

Wow 😳🤨🙄

sillyfrilly · 23/06/2025 19:40

I would have been purple with rage lol but on a serious note why do things like this happen when you’re against time?

smallglassbottle · 23/06/2025 19:45

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 23/06/2025 16:35

Well if they only have two items that take up no space, they don't deserve to have used the tip do they?! How dare they queue to use a service when you have deemed them unworthy of it's use!?

They could easily recycle the things at home or save them up until they have a collection of stuff. It's obvious they're doing it because they want a trip out.

BestZebbie · 23/06/2025 19:46

I think the thing that distinguishes the rage that the OP feels from the mild annoyance that is perhaps more typical is: how much of the actions of the person is counted as "faff".

It annoys me when someone doesn't have their money ready to pay or stops at the front of the line for a long chat to a friend which they could move aside to have, because I count that as faff - but I'm not concerned by things like asking the member of staff a question or doing up a seatbelt after buying petrol because they are part of the 'legitimate business' of the situation.

yakkity · 23/06/2025 19:50

NewBeginnings77 · 23/06/2025 18:51

I suffer with both lichen sclerosus and anal fissure. If I've had a wee i may well be pain and applying cream. If I've had a poo, well to put it quite simply the feeling like I've had barbed wire stuck up my arse means I cant physically move for a few mins as the pain is too intense. HTH.

Even you surely realise you are not the majority of people

Limehawkmoth · 23/06/2025 19:51

ClareBlue · 23/06/2025 14:48

Do you not build in 'other people arsing about' time into any task that has to be achieved. It varies from around 10 percent for food to an eye watering 50 percent for any activity at a Post Office. Supermarket car parks 20 percent, bank cash lodgement 15 percent, etc etc
If you do this it makes life easier to navigate.

I actually have managed to walk into post office, do my business immediately and walk out again within 5 mins. Twice. The last two times. At my local PO
second time I went out during a social gathering people’s faces were gobsmacked when I came back so quickly

so it can be done.
in fairness I’m 60 plus so waited a long time
🤣🤣🤣🤣

NotDarkGothicMama · 23/06/2025 19:53

YANBU. I was in a shop once where I had to argue with the shopkeeper before he'd allow me to pay without first passing my debit card to his dog. He couldn't understand why I didn't want to do this Confused Ultimate faffer. It was absolutely bizarre.

Limehawkmoth · 23/06/2025 19:55

God, I used to get so stressed by others peoples fucking about , the sheer waste of time. when I needed to do something else with my time
there is a cure
retire
i have lots of time now to simply watch others fuck about and be amused by it. Or observe the simple ineptitude of people with a dispassionate curiosity.

Notaripoff · 23/06/2025 19:57

NotDarkGothicMama · 23/06/2025 19:53

YANBU. I was in a shop once where I had to argue with the shopkeeper before he'd allow me to pay without first passing my debit card to his dog. He couldn't understand why I didn't want to do this Confused Ultimate faffer. It was absolutely bizarre.

😂you win the thread. I am genuinely laughing about this. I'm imagining your face, the dog's face and the shopkeepers face - all different levels of anger and perplexed. I think this is going to make me chuckle for days😂

AndrogynousElf · 23/06/2025 20:09

I got stuck in ikea behind a couple once. They were holding hands so took up the whole width of the aisle. They were walking sooooooo slowly. I kept trying to get round but it was one of the bits with no side aisles. How could you be so unaware?

Tiredbut · 23/06/2025 20:13

I hate it too but I’m told I’m impatient and unreasonable. I like things done yesterday.

Limehawkmoth · 23/06/2025 20:16

Heartbreaktuna · 23/06/2025 16:47

I would dearly love to know what the fuck women are doing in toilet cubicles. Get in. Sit down and go. Flush. Then what are they doing after?! I've started to think everyone is wearing underwear that requires a degree to operate because why else would anyone just want to stand in a cubicle.

Really? You can’t figure it out?
the heavy period management
the flooding
the oops moments due to stress or urge incontinence
the prolapses
the hemeroids
the UTIs where the pain is so intense you simply need to piss continuously
the irritable bowel suffers
the constipated

im post menopausal, I’ve had too many of those things. Worse in public loos. If you haven’t ever experienced dealing with any of them in public loos then good for you but don’t bank on getting through life without experiencing your body doing stuff you know is making other people wait. It’s bloody embarrassing.

This thread is light hearted, and your tone is light hearted, . But even light hearted bashing women becuase they don’t dash in and out of loos is a bit off. Bit like bashing people who block beds in hospital cos they Fanny around. Nope. Doesn’t happen.

funnily enough I don’t suppose anyone wants to stand faffing in a cubicle any more than you.

can we lay off the long loo lurkers please. It’s not the same as faffing or fannying about. There’s mostly bloody good medical reasons for it. I’ve been one of them.

OonaStubbs · 23/06/2025 20:21

Some people are so stupid and unfocused, it makes me sick.

Limehawkmoth · 23/06/2025 20:23

yakkity · 23/06/2025 19:50

Even you surely realise you are not the majority of people

Even you must realise this is just one of many many conditions that mean using public toilets is a slow nightmare for some people. I’ve already posted a list of conditions, and many of these affect women at some point in their lives.

at any time, in a single loo queue, they’ll be multiple women experiencing heavy periods, UTIs, irritable bowel , hemeroids, prolapses or any other number of urinary and bowel or gynae issues. We’re a messy bit of engineering that goes increasingly wrong with age and childbearing. .look up the stats…

as I said a few mins ago..can we lay off the long loo lurkers ? That’s not faffing…it’s genuine medical and physiological reasons ,

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