To wonder why people fuck about so much?

[comeandhaveteawithme]

My local skip is a very busy place. There is often a huge queue of cars and once you are in the queue, you absolutely cannot leave, there is no way of driving out of it or turning around due to the way it's structured. You're going through the skip, and that's that.

Today, I was in the queue of doom and a worker walked along the line of cars and told everyone that they just needed to use the crusher before they could let anyone through and to do that, they needed to wait until the cars already parked up and using the skips, had all left, then they could use the crusher and start letting people in again. It was my lunchbreak so I was in a bit of a rush, but nothing I could do.

But watching the people already using the skip was so irritating. They knew there was a line of approximately 20-30 cars waiting, they knew no one else could enter until every car had gone, but they all sauntered back and forth with their stuff from their boots, they stopped and chatted to one another, one guy had a quick cigarette before getting in his car, another sat in the drivers seat and did something on his phone before slowly putting on his seatbelt and leaving...

I just cannot understand people who are so incredibly slow and insist on doing unnecessary things in busy places where people are clearly waiting to use the thing they are using.

The other day, a waitress bringing our food to out table stopped mid-way and chatted to a customer she knew, while holding our plates of food, letting them get cold - why? talk on the way back if you must!

And the amount of people I see letting their toddlers use their debit cards to pay while smiling indulgently as the kids drops the card or taps it wrong with a queue of people waiting, or who stand at the till transferring money, or ask the bus driver an endless series of questions with a whole busload of people waiting, plus the 50 cars behind the bus....

If you are one of these people who fuck about, why? and are you also irritated by the fucking about or am I just far too angry?

Guess that's why we now have to book an appointment at our local tip. It's obviously because of all these painfully slow people!

Ours too, it was a PITA at first until
people got used to it, now it's brilliant, so much better than queuing.

I had a stroke earlier in the year, I probably don't look like it, just that I'm being 'particujsr' and slow. But it is what it is. I have no feeling in my hands so can't hold a card before I get to a till because I'll drop it, but can't feel I've dropped it. So I'll lose it. I can no longer walk away from the till with various bits & bobs loose as I'll drop them.

trust me, it's been far more life changing for me, than you waiting an extra minute.

It's right in front of me as I pack, as I'm bending over the trolley I'm about six inches from it and it's hidden from anyone seeing it by the edge of the till area.

I dont think it's the walking slow that people are objecting to per se. We all know that some people can't walk fast.
It's the blatent dithering and faffing that's annoying and the complete lack of awareness or consideration.
The OP mentions someone standing by their car having a cigarette, people chatting, a guy sitting on his phone, holding up 20-30 cars!
That's not moving slowly for a medical reason. That's downright selfishness.

May I suggest a defence for this sort of situation? Elderly people whose mobility is limited can be very protective of their independence, and understandably don't want to make their mobility worse through lack of exercise. It might well be that the young person had offered to go and pay but Gran or whoever it was had insisted on going herself. My MIL in her 80s uses a walker, and DH and I will help her wherever she wants it, but she rightly wants to do as much as she can for herself.

I live in an area that is notorious for bad driving - large student population, ie people who have recently learned to drive, lots of very elderly people and poor public transport, ie no choice but to keep driving beyond when it probably isn't ideal, and lots of tourists, ie not used to driving on this side of the road and navigating a complicated road system.
I've been forced to cultivate more patience than I naturally possess, but there is a new phenomenon that is driving me demented. People just...stopping. So if they need to do something or check something or wait for someone or drop someone off or if there isn't a parking space where they want one, they just...stop. It doesn't matter what carnage they're causing, or who they are blocking. Then they are outraged if people beep at them. Someone stopped across our gate the other day. It's on a tiny lane with relatively few safe places to stop, so I don't get stroppy when people do it - as long as they then move. This woman saw me, did an 'oopsy' expression, then carried on farting about, looking for something on the floor, examining said item, having a drink, rummaging in her bag, checking her face in the mirror. I sat for a bit, until it became clear she was not planning to move imminently, then I beeped. She ignored me, and continued farting about. I beeped again. At which point she threw her arms up, started shouting, picked up her bag and hurled it onto the floor, before deciding a bit of sarcastic laughing and head shaking was needed, then finally turned her engine on, replaced her seat belt and pulled out, painfully slowly, while still shaking her head. How long was I supposed to sit there? Minutes? Hours? All day?
My favourite example of this is a narrow, one way street of shops with limited parking spaces on the road or nearby. People will just stop at the end to wait for someone to come out somewhere along the whole length of the road. Even if no one is in/near their car. This backs up the entire surrounding area and blocks access to the main road. It regularly finishes up with about 20 cars with their hands on their horns while one person waves their arms and mouths 'What? What?' in the mirror. Inevitably, they eventually have to give up and go round again.

If we didn’t live on a 24 square mile island you might have a point about them not knowing the area.

Sometimes it seems everyone is taking longer to pee. When your desperate to go yourself. No one is going to wet themselves while I try to work out the self serve screen ( well they might as sometimes I have to argue with it as well....)

I have only read the first few pages and am in ecstasy. After 55y, I have finally found my people. I am very impatient and all the situations here drive me insane. I am super-efficient and struggle to live in a world with people who are not.

My own family are dreadful. Too many flaws to mention. But my husband, omg. The waiter comes to take the order and my husband looks with surprise at the thing in his hand called a menu. With no realisation he was meant to look at it and choose some damn food. We then lose our waiter and have to wait hours for the next opportunity.

Yes. I remember going somewhere with a steep staircase, a busy tourist attraction. Some indulgent parents were teaching their toddler to climb them, with performative words of encouragement, whilst crowds built up behind them.

No way would I have let my children do that as it’s unfair to other people. I taught them this stuff where it wasn’t inconveniencing others. Ultimately that’s what it’s about and many people don’t care.

I work in the airline industry and watching people block an aisle and hold up the boarding of a whole aircraft while they take their sweet time unpacking everything and getting comfortable gives me the rage! However i will admit to being an extremely impatient person.

It is. I would love to be laid back or not care about inconveniencing others.

And refuse to let them use their toilet.🙄So they’ll want to relieve themselves before returning.

The ones who rush to get off from the back as well. When we had social distancing rules they started getting people off at the end moved up the plane and it was quicker and more orderly. But as usual everyone is me me. I have SEN children they aren’t quick enough to get into the isle before someone blocks it. So we just sit and wait until everyone else is off.

This is just life, it's nothing new. Spending time writing several paragraphs about it though.... is weird.

I used to be a sales rep. My patch included the Lake District. Summer was a blummin’ nightmare with people driving at 15 miles an hour while their passengers hung out of the window trying to video the scenery.

It's individuals who, when they step off an escalator in a shopping centre or in a large shop (i.e. John Lewis, M&S) just...stop. Right at the top. Dithering. They must be deciding which way to go/which shop to go to first but do they have to do it right at the top of the escalator?!!? And then when you barrel into them or try and squeeze by or say 'excuse me' they look at you, horrified, that how very dare you, get into their personal space!! 😂

Taking away the people who have injuries, medical issues, OAP's (who generally do things slower (if my DF is anything to go by, before anyone jumps down my throat for DARING to suggest OAPs are ALL slow, which I know they're not), it does appear to be that a lot of people have an attitude of 'I don't care who I'm holding up; I'll do things in my own sweet time!' that is infuriating.

Or at the top of the stairs, or in doorways, urgh

Stopping at the top of an escalator is actually dangerous, not just inconsiderate

I was once at a baby group and as everyone was about to leave, a woman decided that right in front of the side door was the best place to change her baby's nappy. I don't know if she thought she'd found a secluded place or something but that was literally the exit to the bus stops and she was changing a shitty nappy right in the way, on a changing mat, crouched in front of a door. I stood there with my buggy waiting for her to move because I needed to catch the bus, and she looked up and angrily said "can you give me a minute?" a queue of other mums with buggies who needed to leave started to form behind me and she slowed down on purpose to teach these mean people who were making us move a lesson. I missed my bus.

If it was me who had realised I had made a mistake in picking that location, I would have been embarrassed, apologised profusely, and dragged my baby mat out of everyone's way (or tried to, at the very least)

It's not being slow when you can't help it that people mind, it's the sheer lack of awareness of the existence of others and the pure selfishness.

If you want to do your own thing and take all the time in the world about everything, please stick to quiet times and go live somewhere with no-one else around you.

He is quite hot to be fair!

But the whole thing about “oh dear I can’t get a girlfriend” is very funny when that is the case!

If you want to do your own thing and take all the time in the world about everything, please stick to quiet times and go live somewhere with no-one else around you.

Same could be said for those who want to do their own thing more quickly than others around them. Stick to times other people won't be there and run round as fast as you like. Go live somewhere there isn't other people to get in your way.

I tend to be pretty efficient at most things I do. I'm quite an impatient person, I do not like waiting for things to come (waiting for a new bed, the time is going way to slowly), I like to do boring things quickly so they're done.

But I also understand that not everyone is like me. Some people are slower, some people live in their own little bubble, some people like the buzz of a busy town and will go do their stuff when it's busy, others prefer quieter times.

Everyone is entitled to be wherever they need to be at whatever time suits them. Why do you think your need at that particular time trumps anyone else's?

The only people who are truly being entitled here are the ones who think their time is so much more important than people who might just happen to be slower than them.

Because the quick, efficient people are not the people cuasing the problem.

I have already said (I think, more than once, I'm not sure) that I'm not blaming people who do not mean to be slow, or can't help it. I am blaming people who know they are slowing others down and simply do not give a fuck. Or the people who do not take a second to think about what they are doing and slow everyone down. The man having a cigarette next to his car yesterday, the woman changing her baby sitting in front of a doorway, the waitress chatting while holding our food, all of these people were being rude and inconsiderate, they are at fault, They are the "aggressors" if you like.

If you have a society where everyone does as they like, moves at the pace they like, uses everything for as long as they like, even when they don't need to, then you have an unfair and slow moving society with little progress and lots of frustration and unhappiness. Consideration for others, basic manners and kindness is essential for a properly functioning sdociety. If you can't give this, or are unwilling to, then fine. But you should go somewhere where other people are not around. You shouldn't reap all the benefits of living in a town, with all it's conveniences, with other people if you are unwilling to follow the rules that help it run smoothly.

You have zero clue what is going on in any of those people's lives though. Sure, some may just be dicks but some might be going through something and therefore just generally unaware of what impact they may be having.

A modicum of compassion costs you nothing except maybe a tiny bit of your time. Which is not more important than theirs, regardless of whether they are deliberately or unknowingly "causing a problem".

And it's only a problem to you. It's not a problem to a lot of people. Some people, even efficient ones, can still see the joy in letting kids pay or that the old widow at the till is loving having someone to chat to, or that the old man at the tip with a couple of items is taking a moment to let go of something he may have had a lifetime.

Have some patience, stress less about it. It can only be good for you.

So, given that example, do you think it’s ok to change a nappy at an exit? Thus preventing lots of other mums with little kids in buggies from leaving?