Kids fighting, 40 degrees - come home early?

[TheCandidOtter]

TLDR: Kids won’t stop fighting and it’s 40 degrees in a huge heatwave. AIBU to change our flights and come home early?

Long version:
We’re just finishing day 3 of our 8 day holiday - me, DH, DD4 and DS2. Beautiful location, pools, plenty to go out and explore outside, fab local food and neither kid is fussy (usually). Should be lovely, but honestly DH and I wish we hadn’t wasted the money.

We’re in the massive European heatwave, so it’s 37 degrees today, and meant to be 40 tomorrow and similar for the rest of the time. It’s too hot to do anything outside except be in the pool from about 9:30am, and we have zero inside space as we’re in a tiny mobile home on a campsite.

The kids will not stop fighting and misbehaving, distractions aren’t working and consequences are having zero effect. Even if we split them up, there are problems, especially as they are waking at 5am, and nothing opens until 8:30. The eldest won’t have a siesta in the day (we have tried!) but is clearly tired, as her behaviour is truly vile. Youngest can’t cope with the heat, isn’t really eating as a consequence, and doesn’t really like the pools for long as he gets too cold.

We have no car, and travel to places we had planned to go is an hour to 90mins, which we are basically ruling out, because they won’t tolerate sitting on a bus for that long as it’s too hot, and then when we get there it’s too hot anyway as everything is outside.

We were really looking forward to this holiday, but DH and I would rather be at work at this point as the behaviour is so awful.

AIBU to change our flights and come home early? At least then they can run around in the garden without overheating and we might actually get some enjoyment out of the holiday days! DS would be pleased to be home, although doesn’t really understand, but DD would be extremely cross and sad.

Sounds hellish will you save money on the spends you’d allocated for next few days?
if yes I say fly home and just chill at home, make cocktails and order a different takeaway each evening so feels like a proper break.
no point slogging it out, holidays should not be awful.

I would go home, if you can afford the flight. Make up an excuse for DD.

Best part of holidays with kids that age is sitting on the balcony with wine and nibbles after they go to bed!

No, you have a 4 year old and 2 year old. They’re so little, their behaviour is your responsibility to manage and it can be managed. Tag team and take a kid each in the pool etc. Make the best of it!

Why do you need to do outings if you have local food and a pool? Just go in the pool, kids in factor 50, you and DH bring a positive attitude and all will be well.

I would allow for a few days adjustment and I'm sure it will improve. My older kids always (and have always) taken a few days to settle into a holiday, esp when not used to all being together. Maybe they're also picking up on you being stressy/exaspersted?

Holidays with kids that age aren't v relaxing...so maybe lower your expectations? I know how infuriating it is when siblings squabble but is part of fsnily/holiday life.

Could you put a big tarp on the mobile home, get a paddling pool and get them cooler , playing in some shade.

Normal to be stressed if you holiday with children of those ages. Make the best of it.

We are managing it….but that doesn’t make it fun!

DS doesn’t like any of the pools with waterfall/sprayer features etc, as he’s overwhelmed and scared by the noise they make, so he is down to just the baby pool, where a) he can’t swim as it’s so shallow, and b) it’s bloody freezing water for some strange reason, and he’s too cold despite being in a wetsuit.

DD has been in the pool today and that’s fine, but despite topping up suncream constantly and wearing rash vest, she’s slightly burnt today.

Don't give up and go home their very young and im guessing your expectations where high. If you want a nice holiday do activities to suit them. Take turns with husband. Or take one kid each. You can make it work.

I am so tempted….it’ll cost us £200ish though to change them, so not sure I can bring myself to fork out for it!

It sounds hellish in that heat, and spending a lot of time outdoors in that heat won’t be good for you all. I’d come home, and chalk it up to experience. Holidays with kids that age can be pretty difficult. The kids can be unsettled.

I really hope that’s the case. I can deal with squabbling, but this is next level. Hitting each other, shutting fingers in doors, playing with plug sockets, screaming and shouting at us at every single request (like “let’s put suncream on so we can go in the pool”)!

Can one of you fly home with DS and the other stay for the rest of the holiday with DD?

This is a brilliant idea - thank you so much!!

With respect, what temps were you expecting if you booked a holiday destination in late June? The level of discomfort starts at 30C (proof being London) so it really doesn't make a difference if it's 32C, 36C or 40C.

Then buy a long sleeved t shirt from the supermarket and put her in that and a hat. Honestly just make the best of it and get into the routine. The first few days are the hardest on holiday with kids as they and you adjust to the new routine

It sounds really grim, I think you should go home.

Hire a car? Air con and get out of the resort a bit. Being out of routine is hard for little ones (some of them) so might be worth getting into a holiday routine so they know what's happening and what to expect with their days. Good luck! Hope you manage to stick it out.

They're toddlers so given the conditions and accommodation I'm not sure what you expected. It sounds dreadful even if it was cooler.

Use the money you'd spend on changing your flights and hire a car with a/c and enjoy your holiday. It's the choice and planning that's been poorly chosen and that's not your very young children's responsibility.

We’ve booked somewhere where the typical temps at this time of year are 28 degrees, so I wasn’t expecting 40 degrees. I’d also disagree that there’s no difference between 30 and 40 degrees!

This is the reason why I take my main holiday at Easter or in the October half term as the temperatures are more comfortable. We went to Turkey last October half term and it was a lovely 26°, perfect t shirt & shorts weather & far less crowds. Try doing this next year instead or choose northern Europe like Holland or Scandinavia during the summer.

I would probably come home, it sounds too hot for the children. It's a bit fresher here in the UK today.

Your expectations do sound high. If the kids are having a fighting phase that has to be dealt with wherever you are. I would take one kid each and make the best of it tbh with loads of pool time. Try to persuade 2 yo into baby pool or other pool with a few toys. Surely it doesn’t matter if it’s freezing in that temperature outside.

Holidays with young kids can be pretty tiring - if it’s no fun and it’s too hot for them I rhinknI would come home too. I had a terrible holiday when my kids were that age- wish aid come home to my nice comfortable house with all their toys and their routine!

I would go home…I know that’s not helpful but holidays with kids that age are crap anyway, and in 40 degree heat…

Also not helpful, but we just didn’t take the kids abroad at that age at all. Maybe a cheap October weekend in Center Parcs. Pool, play park, pancakes. That was about all they could cope with. Still not fun though. Even now, I won’t go anywhere hot in the summer, I’m so heat intolerant and we’d all much rather be sightseeing or doing activities and that doesn’t work above 25 degrees! Anyway, it does get easier and better, and you’ll figure out the kind of holidays that work for you all when the kids are a bit older and more adaptable. Good luck whatever you decide.