Kids fighting, 40 degrees - come home early?

[TheCandidOtter]

TLDR: Kids won’t stop fighting and it’s 40 degrees in a huge heatwave. AIBU to change our flights and come home early?

Long version:
We’re just finishing day 3 of our 8 day holiday - me, DH, DD4 and DS2. Beautiful location, pools, plenty to go out and explore outside, fab local food and neither kid is fussy (usually). Should be lovely, but honestly DH and I wish we hadn’t wasted the money.

We’re in the massive European heatwave, so it’s 37 degrees today, and meant to be 40 tomorrow and similar for the rest of the time. It’s too hot to do anything outside except be in the pool from about 9:30am, and we have zero inside space as we’re in a tiny mobile home on a campsite.

The kids will not stop fighting and misbehaving, distractions aren’t working and consequences are having zero effect. Even if we split them up, there are problems, especially as they are waking at 5am, and nothing opens until 8:30. The eldest won’t have a siesta in the day (we have tried!) but is clearly tired, as her behaviour is truly vile. Youngest can’t cope with the heat, isn’t really eating as a consequence, and doesn’t really like the pools for long as he gets too cold.

We have no car, and travel to places we had planned to go is an hour to 90mins, which we are basically ruling out, because they won’t tolerate sitting on a bus for that long as it’s too hot, and then when we get there it’s too hot anyway as everything is outside.

We were really looking forward to this holiday, but DH and I would rather be at work at this point as the behaviour is so awful.

AIBU to change our flights and come home early? At least then they can run around in the garden without overheating and we might actually get some enjoyment out of the holiday days! DS would be pleased to be home, although doesn’t really understand, but DD would be extremely cross and sad.

What’s the point of your post??

I think you need to think outside the box and be a bit less defeatist. Holidays with small kids are always hard work, try and find ways to be a bit more positive and give your kids a good holiday.

I wouldn't give up. Is it possible to find out about hiring a car and go to an attraction with air con? It is difficult with tired, hot kids!!

If splitting them up doesn't help could you take them both for a few hours and then switch with DH so at least you are both getting a bit of a break

Absolutely this. Went away recently with our toddler and quite frankly the first couple of days were hard work but I didn’t start looking up flights home, I thought hard about how I could make it better for her and us and I bought a few extra toys from the supermarket, adjusted routine, changed my expectations and made her bedtime later. Granted it’s much easier with one than two but I’d never just up and leave a holiday that my 4 year old was enjoying because of a few challenges. Resilience!

plus it likely WILL get better now anyway, as they start to adjust.

After an awful holiday with DS1 aged just under two, we just went to Cornwall for years or drove to northern france.

The only thing is I think it’s a bad show for them if you go home and teaches them not to persevere as well as act out to get what they want

we’ve all had dreading holidays…they are are good to recount and laugh about later

Which country are you in? It’s not brilliant here so personally I would stick it out & hire a car. They might have a nap if you drive off site & find somewhere cool to hang out. Surely the pool being cold is good if it’s a heatwave? I would also tag team with kids if they’re fighting & take them off separately. I am guessing they are hot, tired & out of their routine.

I agree, why put OP down when she's already struggling? Unpleasant.

Go home as soon as you can.

@Doggielovecharlotte but if no one’s enjoying it then what’s really the point?

Im very much on board with seeing commitments through but a holiday is totally optional and meant to be fun. I’d it’s miserable i wouldn’t want to stay using valuable annual leave.

kids are all different some don’t care about change in routine others are a nightmare.

we did a lot of centre Parcs when our kids were little which worked brilliantly however I have no doubt people have trekked and safari’s with these age groups and had a ball. It’s very dependent on the children themselves. We had a great holiday abroad at ages 5 and 7 they seemed to grow up a lot by then.

I'd hire a car and go to places with AC.
I do sympathise as at the age when DS loved the beach/splash parks but DD was the age of your younger one, she hated these things.

Is there no beach or anything similar? Are you literally in a campsite in the middle of nowhere? I wonder what did you expect when you went there. Are there nothing for kids to do?

I feel for you.

Holidays with toddlers are same shit, different place.

Instead of spending money on a flight home, I would hire a car.

Air conditioning and movement will hopefully mean a nap!

Look for a park you can visit in the evening when it’s cooler. A shady forest to explore in the day. Get some binoculars and a bird spotter book.

That’s not enough sun protection at all.

Would the money it would cost to change your flights pay for a hire car with air con for a couple of days? That would open up the possibility of indoor stuff. The other option might be to go with the DC body clocks and hit the beach at 6am, get them tired out to sleep the hottest part of the day away.

I wouldn't. 2 and 4 is so young, it's not surprising that they aren't sleeping well or on their best behaviour when they arrived in a new country just a couple of days ago and are dealing with heat they are not used to. They need a bit more time to settle and you as parents need to focus on keeping them cool, find shade, have lots of ice lollies and water fights.

On the flip side if you were coming home tomorrow and someone offered you 200 quid to stay another 4 days would you take it?

For the £200 it would cost to change flights you could hire a car for a few days. Get the A/C on and go for drives whilst they nap in the car and have lunch somewhere when they wake up? Car naps saved us on holiday with little kids.

Strip it back to basics. No outings until evening when cooler. Def no sightseeing etc, just find the most local place to eat and go there just before bedtime. With any luck they'll sleep soon after dinner in a pram if you have one and you can take a stroll- failing that- back to campsite and bed on time for kids and then you two relax once they're down.

Do nothing in the day..it sounds like too much time in the pool , overestimulated and then not winding down in time and getting all whiny from heat so let them splash about, 1 kid each or take turns watching in baby pool and let then have some indoor time in the ac and then go out in evening as above.

Hire a car. Our no1 rule on all holidays with kids and its made life so much easier. Stop when u want, ac, feed and change in car , sleep in car if they need. Of its not a city break get a car.

Next time book indoor pool.options and space that has indoor kids facilities if going anywhere in summer.

A good lesson for life if you do, and I would be understanding if you did come home early.

If it’s actually 40 degrees that is really tough with small kids. I’d be tempted to can it and come home. I suspect a lot of the pp have never been in 40 degrees, I have and IMO there is a HUGE difference between 32/33 say and 40.

40 degrees was feeling sweaty as soon as you moved, kids getting headaches if they didn’t keep ducking into the water, not nice to eat outside until 9pm or later.

Having said that - I can’t see any 40 degree forecasts? Max I can find is 35 and most are more like 31. Where are you?

@TheCandidOtter , so glad it was a helpful idea. We used to get some cheap little toys and our children would spend ages, splashing dollies and cars in the paddling pool. They used to have picnics sat in the pool too .

Absolutely this, manage their behaviour. I bought you were describing stroppy teens when I read the OP.

No judgement from me if you choose to come home early. I found 38 degrees on a campsite unbearable. Very different from low 30s. 40 degrees in a mobile home without insulation - little ones won't know what's hit them, nor will you.

If you want to try and get something out of it for at least a couple of days more, then car with aircon would be a good move. If you tell us roughly where you are, then someone may have ideas about indoor activities with aircon too.