Kids fighting, 40 degrees - come home early?

[TheCandidOtter]

TLDR: Kids won’t stop fighting and it’s 40 degrees in a huge heatwave. AIBU to change our flights and come home early?

Long version:
We’re just finishing day 3 of our 8 day holiday - me, DH, DD4 and DS2. Beautiful location, pools, plenty to go out and explore outside, fab local food and neither kid is fussy (usually). Should be lovely, but honestly DH and I wish we hadn’t wasted the money.

We’re in the massive European heatwave, so it’s 37 degrees today, and meant to be 40 tomorrow and similar for the rest of the time. It’s too hot to do anything outside except be in the pool from about 9:30am, and we have zero inside space as we’re in a tiny mobile home on a campsite.

The kids will not stop fighting and misbehaving, distractions aren’t working and consequences are having zero effect. Even if we split them up, there are problems, especially as they are waking at 5am, and nothing opens until 8:30. The eldest won’t have a siesta in the day (we have tried!) but is clearly tired, as her behaviour is truly vile. Youngest can’t cope with the heat, isn’t really eating as a consequence, and doesn’t really like the pools for long as he gets too cold.

We have no car, and travel to places we had planned to go is an hour to 90mins, which we are basically ruling out, because they won’t tolerate sitting on a bus for that long as it’s too hot, and then when we get there it’s too hot anyway as everything is outside.

We were really looking forward to this holiday, but DH and I would rather be at work at this point as the behaviour is so awful.

AIBU to change our flights and come home early? At least then they can run around in the garden without overheating and we might actually get some enjoyment out of the holiday days! DS would be pleased to be home, although doesn’t really understand, but DD would be extremely cross and sad.

There is a heatwave here too but no point being miserable on holiday. Holidays with kids just childcare in another location.
They're too young to appreciate it, your mistake was going abroad. Holiday parks in UK much more suitable for smaller kids.
Just cut your losses and leave,....

We had this in France last year, I would use the money to hire a car with air conditioning and then plan trips to places which have good shade, we did a lot of gorge walks and trips to the air conditioned supermarket!

Thanks for all the helpful tips. There are no flights today anyway, so we will be attempting a better day today and decide this evening what we are going to do.

There are lots of things to do other than the pool here, although I’d also say everyone’s kids are different and at home they would happily spend hours and hours in the paddling pool and do nothing else. We deliberately picked our location based on there being lots to see and do. However, everything is all outside with limited to no shade, and so it’s still 40 degrees and too hot, which means we can’t do the vast majority of it!

We do have aircon in the mobile home, and it works well, so is cool for sleeping. The problem is it’s absolutely miniscule so no space to play inside during the day.

To those saying it’s harder with older children, I would disagree, having done holidays previously with my (much older) DSD!

I wouldn't go home. Can you hire a car? It would make everything so much more reachable and easier for the children and give you more options.

Well, good luck with whatever you decide Op.

I'm usually all for "holiday with young kids can absolutely be fun" but it sounds like this is just an awful combination of impracticalities that are creating massive stress!

That heat will make anyone tired and crabby, let alone little kids! Pools are fine but not really enough for a full week, especially if the kids can't/won't use half of them. My 5 year old would usually be ok with an hour's bus trip but not in 40 degrees heat - my DH would also struggle with that I think.

Is there a beach nearby? If they're waking early, any chance of going on the beach before it gets too hot? Then pool and what a pp suggested about setting up some shade and a cheap paddling pool?

Honestly though, I'd be tempted to come home if it's that bad @TheCandidOtter I couldn't cope with that heat!

Renting a car would be a game changer. The kids will sleep in car and you can explore. This is what I would spend the money on. Don't leave you will regret. The kids are very young they just need time to adjust. Keep the bedrooms as dark as possible hang towels over windows. Take the early riser out in buggy for a walk first thing. It will improve.

The only time we have stayed in a mobile home in a hot country abroad, it had aircon and it kept us sane. I honestly couldn't countenance unrelenting heat for myself let alone under 5s.

@TheCandidOtter what's the weather forecast for the next few days? Hopefully it will break and cool down.

Get some tin foil and a water spray if you can (might mean emptying a cleaning spray or something) that way you can spray water on the bedroom windows and cover in foil which will act as blackout blinds and hopefully they will sleep a little longer
agree with suggestions to hire a car if you can

Well I agree with the poster - I don't feel any hotter at 40 degrees than at 30 degrees either. Hot is hot!

We absolutely love holidaying with our young children! Literally nothing else I would rather do. We've taken them abroad at least a couple of times a year since babies (oldest at 9mths, youngest at 7mths). They're now age 4 and age 7 and we've done Disneyland Paris x 4, Salou, Mallorca, Menorca, Belgium, Holland, Portugal, Orlando and taking them Backpacking in August this year - 6 different countries across Europe.

Not everyone finds it "same shit" as people love saying on here.

Totally. There’s a helpful phrase in teaching that you create the climate in your classroom and parenting is much the same. Bring a positive attitude and alow for a few days adjustment and all will be OK!

How’s today been??

well maybe you don't but your very young children might do. And those 10 degrees do matter for lots of people.

I live in New England. We get hot summers. It is going to be 40 degrees tomorrow and there is a heat emergency in effect (cooling centers open etc). My dogwalker won't walk my dog because it is too hot. I volunteer at a food pantry - we will change our way of doing things tomorrow and will expect fewer people,

Pretending 28 degrees is the same as 40 degrees is nuts.

It was never going to be fun. Your children are 4 and 2.

Exactly this. They are hot and overwhelmed.
what do you do when they fight at home?
I hope you stay in the shade at lunchtime. Even if 4 year old doesn’t nap, get her to watch some tv for an hour or two and then go out again.
make sure they drink enough water, wear sunhats, buy ice creams etc. get your son some squirty toys or something fun for the pool (an inflatable?).

That's surprising. The human body responds differently at upper 30s. The US government advises caution above 32 degrees (90F) and danger above 37 (100F), even where humidity is low - see official heat index https://share.google/suMiEucu4OpA9tipg

The risk of heat related illness is even higher for young children and it must be frightening to them to experience their body telling them it can't cope. It's not simply a matter of managing their behaviour better. Obviously they need clear guidance, reassurance and support to deal with this as well as practical strategies, but weighing up whether to go home seems part of good parenting to me.

For the next couple of years, you and DH should just do separate holidays - weekends away with friends etc that kind of thing so you can actually enjoy being away.

Wait for a few more years to take the kids so they’re old enough to appreciate it. Otherwise it’s just a waste of money.

@TheatreTraveller

a lot of people do hate it though. Do you have any tips to make it enjoyable - as in not just enjoyable for the kids but for the adults too?

Some can cope, we've been taking our daughter since she was 9m old and she's always been fine, sometimes you don't know unless you try, some kids will be ok.

I don't think this is the issue. Upper 20s - fine for toddlers if planed well. 40 - not fine. The problem is that it used to be easier to predict the weather in typical holiday destinations. Now we have more extremes.

You need to keep your kids OUT of the midday sun. So that means inside, restaurant, caravan for a nap or whatever between 11.30-3pm no wonder they are hot and bothered. Take them to pool/beach at 4pm lower your standards on bath and bedtime and they'll spon be enjoying it.

Only way your daughter can get sunburn with cream and rash vest is being too long in the sub at hottest time of day