Kids fighting, 40 degrees - come home early?

[TheCandidOtter]

TLDR: Kids won’t stop fighting and it’s 40 degrees in a huge heatwave. AIBU to change our flights and come home early?

Long version:
We’re just finishing day 3 of our 8 day holiday - me, DH, DD4 and DS2. Beautiful location, pools, plenty to go out and explore outside, fab local food and neither kid is fussy (usually). Should be lovely, but honestly DH and I wish we hadn’t wasted the money.

We’re in the massive European heatwave, so it’s 37 degrees today, and meant to be 40 tomorrow and similar for the rest of the time. It’s too hot to do anything outside except be in the pool from about 9:30am, and we have zero inside space as we’re in a tiny mobile home on a campsite.

The kids will not stop fighting and misbehaving, distractions aren’t working and consequences are having zero effect. Even if we split them up, there are problems, especially as they are waking at 5am, and nothing opens until 8:30. The eldest won’t have a siesta in the day (we have tried!) but is clearly tired, as her behaviour is truly vile. Youngest can’t cope with the heat, isn’t really eating as a consequence, and doesn’t really like the pools for long as he gets too cold.

We have no car, and travel to places we had planned to go is an hour to 90mins, which we are basically ruling out, because they won’t tolerate sitting on a bus for that long as it’s too hot, and then when we get there it’s too hot anyway as everything is outside.

We were really looking forward to this holiday, but DH and I would rather be at work at this point as the behaviour is so awful.

AIBU to change our flights and come home early? At least then they can run around in the garden without overheating and we might actually get some enjoyment out of the holiday days! DS would be pleased to be home, although doesn’t really understand, but DD would be extremely cross and sad.

Holidays with kids that age are really hard. Mine didn’t really like the pool so we stopped going to sunny pool locations and instead went to Cornwall for a few years. Much more to do in all weathers. Last year we went to France and the kids - then 7 and 5 loved it and it was the first time I actually relaxed on holiday. I guess I’m saying it’s ok that it’s hard right now OP

I wouldn’t come home but I’d plan better for the future. The children are being children. Boiling hot and in a tiny mobile home with no aircon - I’d be fighting with people too! People here are grumpy this weekend - it’s been up to 33C so not much different. They need to cool down and get some shade during the day. As a PP said, get a tarp or something to make a shelter. Buy a couple of fans for the mobile home and a paddling pool. Taxis to nearest local town if bus is a problem? Freeze bottles of water so they always have a cool drink. Go to sleep with damp sheets over them, that will dry overnight and help take the edge off. In fact, let them wear cool, wet shirts during the day when you first go out. Lots to be done to improve things, but I wouldn’t scrimp on aircon or blackout blinds or accommodation that isn’t suitable in future.

A car with air con sounds like a good idea. Or come home. It's meant to be fun and if it's not fun you don't have to stick it out in order to teach your kids resilience or as some kind of penance. If you think you'll have a calmer time at home just go for it. I'm sure your DD can be bribed with a treat into thinking its a great plan.

I wouldn’t come home early, as it’s likely the kids will settle down in a day or so. They are somewhere unfamiliar, it’s hot, they sound overtired. Buying a small paddling pool as a PP said sounds a good idea, what else do they like to do, kick a ball, colouring books, play a game? Could you take them to a toy shop to buy a new toy. Try to stick to your usual routine, same bed time, meal times. Buy or hire fans. I hope you have some nice days. Holidays with young kids are always difficult. Our first family holiday was a test of endurance, DS1 under 2 and 6 wks old baby, that screamed constantly, why on earth did I think it would be fun.

Going for a holiday in unrelenting sun with small kids is misery on steroids so I feel for you OP.

The first few days of any holiday with kids is often hard. Everyone is out of routine, excited and tired. I would say spend the £200 on a car and get out and about. We always did 'same shit, different location' when they were that age. Just lived a simple life but elsewhere. Went to local free splash pads, soft plays, ate ice cream, went to the park in the evening any took a picnic or got a pizza to eat on the grass, ate most dinners at home and went out for lunch around naps, watched the sunrise and played in the sea until it was too warm etc. We always used DD's nap time to give DS 1-2-1 time with each of us which helped lots with behaviour.
The drives will hopefully induce sleep and will make you all a bit less stir crazy. I would also think rent an apartment or cottage in future so you all have a bit more space. Would also recommend going out for a long walk to a restaurant with them in pushchairs so you can eat whilst they sleep if they will do that.
Push through, it will be better at 3&5. Ours are 4&6 now and holidays are almost enjoyable!

It sounds like hell on earth. Small mobile home, high temps, no car, fractious children constantly fighting and whinging. Sometimes the most adult thing to do is to acknowledge you have made a mistake and are in the wrong place at the wrong time. I would be booking the first available flight home and counting the hours until I could get the hell out of dodge.

Do it Op, I can guarantee you won't regret it once you are home.

Oh, and in future I would recommend if going to southern Europe, go in Spring or Autumn. If going away during the summer months stick to U.K., Channel Islands, or Northern Europe.

It is tough when they are young. Ours are 5 and 1.5 so similar in age. We have been aboard a few times but only in either May or October as i decided I couldn't face tantrums and stress plus 30 degrees or more. So far it's worked well for us x

This is the toughest bit in my opinion OP - with a 2 and 4 year old holidays are like a punishment for everything you did wrong in a past life.
Controversial choice but after a murderous UK holiday with DC of a similar age, we decided to join a posh health club for two years instead of going away. Swimming in nice warm toddler pool 365 days per year, spa while kids in crèche, on site soft play attached to health club cafe…..and then home to own house. It was much better than a holiday at that age.
Older DC still talks about it now because in heatwaves we were allowed to go to to the even POSHER sister health club close by and use the outdoor pool! He mentioned this yesterday when the conditions got sweaty.

This sounds like a really good option.

Ye poor divils...that heat is cruel...where are ye? I'm getting nervous as going away next Friday and it will be hot hot too

This was my thought - I wouldn’t go to any traditional holiday places in late June, July or August. And planning day trips that far away? Sounds like a planning issue to me. Not sure where you are but I assume it’s highly likely it’s going to be minimum 30 and a massive chance of heatwave.

Everyone else thought we were mad not to ‘get away’. But it was better for us. We have had great holidays with the DC - but not when they were toddlers!

Then buy a long sleeved t shirt

A wet long sleeve cotton t shirt has virtually no UV protection so don't put your DC in one and go swimming. A uv rash vest is a much more sensible option, you must have just been unlucky today with your DD getting a bit burnt

Hi OP,

I would just cut your losses and come home. 40C is ridiculously hot. We had 42C here a few years ago and it was practically lethal. I don't know how you're coping there at all. I would just come home.

We only ever holidayed in the uk when the DC’s were little and even that was awful until they are around 8 years old 😬. We went home early several times and felt we needed a holiday to get over it. I think taking them abroad when so little is just a waste of money. Save it for when they are old enough to appreciate and enjoy it.

I’d stick it out. You’re there now- use the £200 to pay for some toys, a paddling pool or a couple of (inside!) days out- if there’s an indoor public pool anywhere close that could be good! Air conditioned cinema? Find a shaded area and set up a picnic space with paddling pool and lots of ice pops?

TBH I wouldn't take children anywhere hot when it's likely to be hot. When our DCs were young (before DH started his business) we would go to somewhere where we could fly to from local airport & would be no more than 25c.

After DH started business we bought a lodge in local holiday park &we would take them there separately as someone needed to be around to manage the businesses.

For about 18 years DH & me never had a holiday together.

But we're making up for it now. Saw DD & GC at weekend & she commented that we always seem to be either coming back from or going on some kind of a holiday. 😂

They will be fine in a few days
it’s a lot at their age the heat and the change
Ride it out, get them in pool with suncream and various pool toys
and have a massive drink at night when they finally crash !

Could u hire a car?

We've experienced 40+ temps in various Spanish cities over the years (we dont do beach holidays) and the only way to survive it is to walk around in shady bits, not go out for dinner until about 10pm, have aircon in our airbnb and then make sure any shops or restaurants have aircon in them during the day when you're out and about. Doesnt sound like OP has the option for any of that.

In a mobile home? Im getting dizzy just thinking about it.

Oh OP I’d be struggling too, cannot function in furnace heat like that and having hot unhappy LO’s out of their usual routine and with temps above coping point is a massive challenge. The fighting and misery due to the heat, while understandable, does not make it easier for you in the here and now.

There’s been some good advice on here about ideas to help keep cool and try to access some indoor (air con supported) activities.

I will add a couple more ideas, one free and the other not! So supermarkets abroad have been popular our young DC as they are different with things we don’t get here, last time we went there was one playing music too which they enjoyed dancing to as we mooched around the aisles. They usually have a toy bit as well. That would be free and nice & cool.

The second is, if your holiday budget can be stretched, I’d be tempted to check out nearby hotels / resorts and upgrading your remaining days to a place with air con. Ideally with an indoor eatery and pool that opens early (before it gets too hot).

Enjoy a family holiday away whilst you’re not tied to the school holidays OP, the price difference is shocking and gets so much busier then. All the very best and let us know how you get on x

we say it takes until the fourth day to enjoy the holiday with little ones, it takes a lot of adjusting! I would hold out if I was you and hopefully things improve as time goes on

Aside from a tarp and a paddling pool, some buckets with water and plastic washing up bowls were also favorites at that age for our kids.

And could you rent a car with AC to drive around in, instead of public transport. Maybe the kids would even fall asleep in it?

How long is the heatwave supposed to last?