To ask how much energy and thought you put into maintaining eye contact and thinking about your facial expressions in conversations?

[summerrrx]

And if you are neurodiverse or neurotypical?

I have always been good at making eye contact, but there is definitely a constant stream of 'that's enough eye contact, now look down, ok look back up, now look over there, now look back, now fiddle with your nails so you can look at them instead, now look back up'. I don't know if everyone thinks like that?

I'm also quite an overly enthusiastic listener, and if I'm being spoken to I nod and smile away and make sure I look like I'm listening. I even do it during Teams meetings; I notice I'm very aware of my facial expressions and I struggle to multitask during meetings as it feels rude. I think I do it so that the person I'm talking with feels listened to; but I've now started to wonder if it's a form of masking?

TBH, I don't really think about it. I have some hearing loss so if I am in a noisy environment I turn my ear towards the speaker rather than look at them so I can hear them better.

I don't think I am neurodivergent.

Neurotypical but raised by a deaf mother so I instinctively lip read, therefore I am always watching the persons lips rather than eyes. It freaks me out when I try to look at eyes instead. It seems weird and intrusive.

Omg I’m just like this. It it took me till my 40’s to realise I do this along with focusing on a spot near the eye or even forehead lol I have been asked quite often by the person I’m speak with- what do I have. Spot? Is there something in my hair lol
I just find it so uncomfortable looking into peoples eyes - no neurodivergence

I have to think about eye contact and facial expressions but I’m autistic so I suppose that’s normal?

Not aware of any neurodivergence but I also have a constant thought of is it enough eye contact?? Is it too much?? Have I smiled for too long at that comment?? Do I look grumpy?? Is my face doing what it should be??

I have had to teach myself to respond to smiles- when someone smiled at me I didn't smile back automatically as neurotypical people do. It was after I got my very late diagnosis of Autism and started learning more about Autism did I realise this common in neurodiverse people.

Every conversation I have I am constantly trying to work out whether I should be maintaining eye contact, whether I should be smiling, etc etc. I keep thinking about what the person who I'm talking to is actually seeing when they look at me: its like an out of body experience where I'm conscious of myself from their perspective and it's very unnerving.

Being so self conscious during even the smallest of exchanges is one of the reasons for my extreme social anxiety and why I tend to keep myself to myself.

It was many many years before I realised I gave very little eye contact because when people speak I watch their lips, I dont have bad hearing as such but I tend to 'hear' better if I can see peoples mouths when they talk, so I had to train myself to flit between eyes and mouth and hopefully focus on their eyes more than mouth, otherwise Im sure I look a bit strange but for some reason I hear better by lip reading.

Same thing about taking off my glasses, I cant hear if I havent got my glasses on!!!

Not ND

Never
I mean I’m generally animated and responsive but never think about it
neurotypical

Me too op, and yes ND too. I also think abut this afterwards, "did I smile enough?". I know I don't make enough eye contact if I don't make the conscious effort.

I don't give it any thought at all. I like making eye contact and smiling and apparently can't disguise what I feel or think even if I tried, people can read me like a book! I don't think I'm neurodivergent. It must be very hard if you have to constantly monitor inwardly what you are doing.

I'm the same OP- constantly thinking about it. NT as far as I know.

Same as you, OP.
I have an autism diagnosis.

Yep I'm like this. Very aware of how I'm acting with others.
I don't think I'm ND. I mean maybe I am I don't know, but even so, so what? Probably explains it at least.

I'm autistic. I don't think about eye contact very much although I'm aware that I don't tend to make eye contact if I'm talking because I'm too busy thinking. So I try to look at the person occasionally. My reactions are a bit delayed...they may have moved the conversation on and I'm still smiling about the last thing they said. And ending a conversation is always awkward.

There may be other reasons for lack of eye contact, for example, if a man fancies me and I don't want him to think it's mutual, I will avoid eye contact.

NT here

Not something I ever give thought to, except occasionally in work meetings when I am trying my hardest not to roll my eyes

I don't think about it at all. Neurotypical, as far as I know.

Interesting thread!

I dislike eye contact; it makes me feel uncomfortable as it's too intense. I can't do it almost at all when I'm the one talking; I just look away most of the time. When someone else is talking it feels rude not to, so I do it, but I have to concentrate to make sure I am, and I worry I'm doing too much. I like to have a drink in my hand or something, so I can break eye contact occasionally and look down. It feels like a great moment of relief. Yes, I focus on my expression and feel like I'm on a stage.

Heaven knows if I am ND. 3 of my children are autistic, so chances are, I am too. I certainly relate to their struggles very closely.

pretty much everything I say to anyone out of my immediate family I worry about have I said the right thing or said too much to little etc . It's horrible and yes I am neurodiverse

I rarely think about it tbh, unless someone is making too much or too little eye contact

I don’t think about it - I’m neurotypical as far as I know.

I rarely think about it tbh, unless someone is making too much or too little eye contact

Fuck that, it’s a zero from me.

I'm very aware of the fact I'm not making eye contact much.
NT as far as I know,- I do wonder sometimes but don't have any traits that aren't manageable so haven't gone into it.

OP I could have written this! I’m diagnosed with various MH conditions, but am not autistic to the best of my knowledge.

NT - none - it just happens naturally.